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Original poster

AIBU to ask your most ridiculous PFB moment...

333 replies

OgdensGoneNutFlake · 07/04/2022 20:05

Inspired by the "first ice cream" thread, I wondered whether anyone had any embarrassingly Precious First Born tales of their own?

None of mine are particularly memorable at this moment, but essentially my second born has had a lot more chocolate, late nights, gopping nappies and soil-eating than my little angelic PFB ever did (and he's altogether happier for it!)

OP posts:
SewingMum46 · 09/04/2022 22:16

Not me but DB and DSIL. Their DS was 10 months old and we’d driven to a park about two miles from my DPs house for a walk. They took rice cakes and a drink for DN but when we arrived they realised they’d forgotten to take a bottle of water so DB got back in the car and drove back to the house to collect it - we waited half an hour whilst he did this, then we left the park fifteen minutes later.

It was Boxing Day and there was about six inches of snow on the ground.

JudgeJ · 09/04/2022 22:10

@pieonthesofa

Wouldn't use the electric toothbrush while PFB was in the room, was worried about damaging their hearing.
I recall walking to the airport when No1 baby was a few weeks old, the road goes across the runway and a barrier stops the traffic, like a railway level crossing. The barrier was down as the 747 was due in, about 50 yards away and I worried she would wake but she never flinched. However when the little bell rang to signify the barrier was going up she woke and howled,
GrandTheftWalrus · 09/04/2022 21:59

I have a bath thermometer for dd2 but only because she's been bathed in the normal bath in a seat since birth and I like my baths extremely hot so I could think its fine and could still burn her.

Dd1 though was bathed in a baby bath that dh would fill and check and bring it into living room for me. Wasn't feasible to do that with dd2.

JudgeJ · 09/04/2022 21:49

@HailAdrian

I went to a&e for things that would have barely fazed me by my third child.
My daughter and her husband were jokingly invited to the staff Christmas party as they were there so often!
PoshWatchShitShoes · 09/04/2022 21:44

I signed up for baby sign language classes when he was 2 months old. The lovely lady gave me a refund when I turned up to class with my tiny sleeping baby 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

PoshWatchShitShoes · 09/04/2022 21:37

I really prepared for PFB's weaning phase. I somehow (I don't even know why) bought kidneys (which I've never ever eaten) and lots of organic pears and I batch cooked an "amazing iron-rich purée"... it made our house smell of dead things. It all went out in the wheelie bin before it had even cooled down. So much mess/waste 🤦🏼‍♀️😂 I then stuck with ordinary mashed sweet potatoes and broccoli etc.

JimMorrisonsleathertrousers · 09/04/2022 21:25

@littlemissnorthernbird

Coming home from the hospital and setting my alarm to make sure I was awake to feed my PFB! Why I thought I needed an alarm, I do not have a clue?!!! PFB woke up practically every 45 mins for feeding and stopped me from sleeping for the first 4 YEARS of her life!
I did this too! To be fair, the hospital put the fear of god into me because they said she wasn't gaining enough weight. So I became obsessed with feeding her, and found it really stressful going out anywhere in case she got hungry and I couldn't find anywhere suitable to feed her.
TweenTrauma · 09/04/2022 21:23

As a 23 year old single mother I declared (thankfully only to myself) that nothing non-organic would ever pass my child’s lips.

She’s now nearly 18 and all I can say to that now is…LOL 🤣

Bridie20 · 09/04/2022 21:14

Wore my glasses all night for the first few weeks of his life so I could see him as soon as I opened my eyes 😂😂😂 he was about 30cm away from me!

CuddlyCactus · 09/04/2022 20:43

These are so funny, heart warming and also a little crazy .

The prize for the craziest but most heartwarming so far has to go to the mum who bought novelty slippers and tap danced in front of her baby to encourage tummy time GrinGrinGrin

ThistleTits · 09/04/2022 20:43

@Monoceros

Something that happened to my friend. She took her PFB to A&E, as a mysterious red spots appeared on his head. It transpired that these were drops of red wine that her husband spilled on his head while holding him.
Grin Grin Grin Wine
Quatrophoenix · 09/04/2022 20:36

Believing and telling everyone, that ds's first utterance was 'magnifying glass.'

Glamping1234 · 09/04/2022 20:02

These are so funny, heart warming and also a little crazy Grin.
I also did the constantly checking on sleeping baby and waking her in the night because she had slept past usual waking time.
I also remember buying a bath thermometer and would make sure the bath was the exact temperature the instructions recommended - not one degree out!.

NicolaC17 · 09/04/2022 19:57

Great thread.
Taking my 7 week old to the walk in centre because I cut her nails and made her bleed and she hadnt had any vaccinations - I was convinced she was going to become really unwell. Confused
Much more relaxed with my second.

Flittingaboutagain · 09/04/2022 19:51

PumpkinPie2016 I do this every night in my single bed, next to baby in her cotbed Grin

PumpkinPie2016 · 09/04/2022 19:27

I positioned myself so that I was sleeping half way down my bed so I could be level with DS crib when he was first born Blush

Not sure why I thought being 2ft further ùp would have made a difference Confused

Chocoqueen · 09/04/2022 19:16

DD is only 7 months so I don't have too many (yet) but I do remember early on DH said he'd sleep on my side of the bed one night so he was next to her in the next to me crib and I was on his side so I could get more sleep. Except he then turned to face the middle of the bed to go to sleep and I cried ugly tears as he'd turned his back on her.

CowboyFromHell · 09/04/2022 18:35

To make sure my PFB was drinking enough breast milk I wrote down in a notebook the time she fed, and for how long.

That lasted all of five days after coming home from the hospital I think.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 09/04/2022 18:25

@catgirl1976

Relevance that the doc is Nigerian?

Yogity · 09/04/2022 14:55

@CuddlyCactus

-I slept in a sleeping bag or ski thermals for months fear our duvet would migrate into her next to me crib and suffocate her

This is hilarious @Yogity GrinGrinGrin

Grin my HV didn't even correct me. I was disproportionately concerned about SIDS I think
catgirl1976 · 09/04/2022 12:54

DH and I once took tiny DS to A and E because he wasn't moving much and seemed lethargic only to be told by an lovely and endlessly patient Nigerian Doctor that "your baby is merely sleeping"

To be fair he didn't sleep much so it was a bit out of the ordinary and a very deep sleep........

Gufo · 09/04/2022 12:51

Peeled the orange breadcrumbs off fishfingers so DC1 only had the fish! What a twat I was.

Spudlet · 09/04/2022 12:42

@Rainallnight that is just Grin and ❤️❤️❤️

andysgirl22 · 09/04/2022 12:39

Yesssss @Carla2601 it is lovely isn't it :) :) :)

andysgirl22 · 09/04/2022 12:38

@Rainallnight that made me simultaneously tear up and giggle. What a lovely person you are so loving and kind.