AIBU to ask your most ridiculous PFB moment...

I asked the HV to check PFB's nose because I thought her nostrils were too small and she couldn't breathe whilst she was bf.

In my defense, she kept pulling off every few seconds (agony) and that was the only reason I could think of!

@Ilovemytwins

When my premature twins came out of the hospital, I had to milton wipe the corner of the formula cartons we were using along with the scissors to make sure they were fully clean! My midwife soon told me to get a grip!

I also Googled whether I needed to sterilise the Infacol dropper, set an alarm the first night home in case he missed a feed - he's 13 now and I don't think he has ever missed a meal. I also cried when a leaf fell on his pushchair and I couldn't find it so obviously he'd eaten it (he couldn't even lift his own head). We started with Classic FM on the radio, weaned him on organic, pureed pears and by about 3 he was drinking out of the hose pipe and popping worms in his mouth.

Peeled grapes when weaning. Used breathing monitors until they were about 3!!!

Still check that the 12 year old is still breathing before I go to bed

Oh loads. I sterilised teething rings and would remove them from my PFB if they fell on the floor so they could be sterilised again.

I worried about walking along a bumpy path with the pram because I thought she might develop shaken baby syndrome.

I obsessed over the colour of the bloody gro egg and would panic if it was anything but an ideal yellow.

I tried to avoid highly flavoured or spicy food in case it changed the taste of my breast milk and she didn’t like it.

Not me, but DH. DD slept in a cot at the foot of our bed, and each night he would check the buttons at the bottom of our duvet, lest one spring off and land in DD's mouth, thus silently choking her.

It took me a few weeks to realise what he was doing and rip the piss out of him.

I've said this before I'm sure but I spent the first few weeks of DS' life obsessed with the fact that his eyelashes were longer on one eye than the other. I really wanted to make a GP appt to discuss it but luckily my husband convinced me otherwise.

Took him to Casualty when I nicked his finger cutting his nails. I have never even cut my 2nd child’s nails.

Bought a bread machine so I could make him salt free bread during weaning. Second child has only ever had supermarket loaves.

Made him a sugar free first birthday cake. It was disgusting. 2nd child didn’t get a birthday cake until his 3rd birthday.

There was a hilarious thread on here which was similar. One mother fell to the floor to bang her head to test how hard the floor was after her PFB fell over. While the in laws looked on aghast.

Another one was tempted to walk down her local high street with her PFB aloft so all could admire his beauty.

My absolute favourite (post of all time ever) was a mum who took her DS to the doctor, he asked her to hold her DS's head and hip (iirc) and she positioned her newborn's one hand on his head, the other hand on his hip in a juvenile YMCA type pose. That post cheered me up for weeks.

Another one. The first time my pfb had mild teething symptoms I was convinced he had meningitis. The lovely doctor on the phone calmed down my hysteria and assured me that he also had children and these were absolutely teething symptoms.

We, switched the flash off on the camera, in case it damaged his eyes.

Outing, but I spent 4 hours in a&e demanding people inspect the soiled nappy in my handbag. Pfb had eaten banana for the first time, and I thought the little brown fibre strands his poo was full of were blood worms 😳

I'm still very much living my PFB moments. Still using milton wipes on everything and she wears a breathing monitor in bed - it attaches to her nappy, I ponder frequently when she might be old enough to stop wearing it? 18yrs, 21yrs maybe 30yrs......

I started out as breastfeeding, organic scratch cooking, wet wipe wielding, TV averse psycho mum. How times have changed.

Monoceros surely not!?
I was a little anxious when I had DS1 and when I made all his weaning ice cubes from scratch I would boil an enormous vat of water on the stove and into it carefully place the ice cube trays, the blender stick and the wooden spoons so as they might be perfectly sterile. I lifted them out with (sterilised) tongs.
I put all his bowls and spoons into the steriliser until he was 12 months and would provide MIL with said sterilised items in a plastic freeze4 bag so she could use them when she looked after him.

I would lie awake anxiously checking the room thermometer and obsessing over every single tiny increase and then moving it to different positions to try to get it to come down (it was during a heatwave). In fairness I knew it was irrational (lots of babies are born in hot countries!) but I just couldn't stop the anxiety!

There was a very good thread about this years ago, which might be in classics. One which I remember was a poster who did a practice flight from somewhere like London to Manchester in advance of PFB’s first holiday 😄

Something that happened to my friend. She took her PFB to A&E, as a mysterious red spots appeared on his head. It transpired that these were drops of red wine that her husband spilled on his head while holding him.

I hated our family members jiggling (in a perfectly normal way) our DD so much that DH and I told them that the hospital had said they shouldn’t do it as it was bad for her head and brain; it was only after my second DC when they mentioned how worried they were about damaging his brain that I realised how precious I’d been.
Also they used to talk about “nursing” our DC which they actually meant cuddling/settling them and I always wanted to shout “I’m the only one here who can nurse” luckily I never actually did

Do I @aldilemonade did they tell you get a grip?

Almost took him to a&e because he fell backwards from a sitting position on a playmat which was on a thick rug.

Oh god yes I refused to let DH sleep if I was asleep at the same time......! I insisted he sit next to the sleeping baby and watch her.

On a warm summer afternoon my Dad took PFB into the garden without socks on....I cried and refused to let her back out until I had put socks on her because I was so worried her feet would be cold! She slept the full time!

I said she wasn't going to have ANY sweets till she was - i dunno - 10, or something stupid ...

@Hoppinggreen Belly laughing here at 'vampire' 😂 Any more?