AIBU to ask your most ridiculous PFB moment...

When my friend had her first child she was very very protective.

She was exhausted too and I had offered to mine the child one Saturday morning when her husband was away so she could sleep.

The night before she proceeded to send me the biggest list of things to remember before I came over to ensure I didn't harm the baby.

I can't remember it all but some of the things of the list include wearing sensible shoes so I wouldn't fall with the baby in my arms, no jeans as they were too rough for baby's skin, no perfume, no nail varnish, tie my hair up and to make sure I put my phone on silence so not to disturb the child and to make sure I was on time,not to ring the door bell or knock on the door!!!!

She wasn't joking!

I don't think I had any moments really. I've tried to think of some and grilled my very frank and brutally honest child free friend and she agrees. I put it down to working with children and babies for years before having my own and DS1 being incredibly poorly (in NICU and nearly didn't make it poorly) when born which possibly just wrung out any day to day anxiety from me I don't know! Or I just have a cold black heart but sometimes I'm uncomfortably aware of not being as affected by things like first day of school etc! The one thing I do remember was getting upset when we got him home that his skin tone looked weird before realising that we'd never seen him under normal lights as his little life up to that point had been under fluorescent hospital lights so I talked myself out of calling the maternity ward for advice about 'weird skin'

My exh however....this week both kids have had a nasty cold and temps of about 39. DS1 is 8 and exh wanted me to take him to a&e. Despite DS1 chatting away to him on the phone and chewing his ear off about minecraft. But nope, a temperature of 39 at 8 years old is clearly an emergency situation. The 6 year old had the same temperature but weirdly that didn't seem to require a hospital visit

Called the GP out (it was a long time ago) when 10 day old DS was snuffly. While GP was there, DS sneezed and the most enormous bogey came shooting out of one nostril.

I planted a forest of blackcurrant bushes and made my own (low sugar and organic) Ribena.

I boiled bottles and nipples for over a YEAR, until I found PFB happily ingesting a dead bug he'd found. Put an end to THAT nonsense, and the extra protein didn't seem to cause any harm.

Tory Britain

@ifyouturnonthelight Yes they did very gently.
Tbf it was 3 days after giving birth i was very tired in pain and very hormonal and only 19.
I've had more children since and never felt anything like i did that day.
Lots of other Pfb things though

Regimented naps and feeding time for PFB, others lucky if I remembered to feed or put down for nap

My first baby was incubated (born early at 26 weeks) and I was watching the NICU nurse trying to pull the tray out to access the baby, but the tray was stuck and I watched as she jiggled it a bit, then a bit more, all while my PFB was on the tray, and I shot up and declared that if she keeps shaking the tray she is going to give my baby brain damage! And she was mortified and I felt awful. But yeah, she jiggled my 2lb baby and I guess it was all white traumatic and anxiety causing.

Friend took baby to the GP once worried about blue lines on her PFB’s head when he cried…

….. veins

DC1 is still PFB ..

First tried a pot noodle at age 10 (hadn’t seen one before- thanks nan)

Had first fizzy drink at a wedding (age 8) - still asks to go to weddings as everyone knows it’s the only place to get a fizzy drink

Shhhhh-big everyone when he was sleeping … the disapproval of the noises some people make when out and about

PFB is now almost 18. I've always been a bit of a slap-daah, seat of my pants kind of person, including my driving. The first 3 months DS was in the car with me I drove at 20 miles an hour and got angry saying loudly 'Whoaaa' every time a car was neaby me! PFB is having driving lessons right now and I'm reliving this, saying 'If anyone cones near you on the road glower at them'

He just looks at me, flicks his uber-cool hair and talks about the next gig he's off to.

I think I had the opposite - at least according to MIL.....

I had preemie twins, and they became used to a routine in NICU before we could take them home after a few weeks. Milk was room temp as NICU don't have the resources to warm it on demand, and they had set 4 hourly feeds. They told me to stick to this, and I did - it was wonderful as they were all trained up! DS had a dummy for the first few months so I could stall him until feed time, then do both together.

MIL was horrified that I didn't warm the milk enough - it was room temp rather than body temp. If we went out with the buggy then 'room temp' might even be a bit cool, and she thought I was the worst parent ever. However, the hospital had assured me that was fine so I was just following their recommendations.

Clearly I failed her PFB expectations on that score - but probably did pass on other issues. DTs are 14 now so it's hard to remember.......

Pre birth but I emailed a nasa scientist because I was worried I had been exposed to a solar flare when in a plane. Read too many academic journals., the lovely scientist (an older man) very kindly reassured me and explained the science to me. I will never forget that.

Made crap loads of food from the holly willoughby book (which is actually v good) but I got obsessed. Now she only wants pasta.

Not sure if it's a pfb moment as such because he did it with all three but Dh used to insist on the Moses basket being on his side of the bed so he could wake and pass the baby to me when it needed a feed. I think he felt like it would be helpful if he was also awake but he would invariably sleep through the wake up I spike either have to wake him or get up and walk round the bed to get the, by then, cross baby!

I thought I was really relaxed at the time but looking back I wasn't at all.

I actually took fb to the GP as he had what I thought was too many creases on one of his legs and I decided he must have hip dysplasia. The elderly very nice doctor pointed out he was just a huge very chubby baby.

He rolled off the sofa once to my utter horror, I rang dh in tears and he was concerned until he heard our son laughing in the background playing with his toys. I was still worried though in case the bang had made him delirious so I googled how to do observations and checked on him EVERY 20 MINUTES ALL NIGHT. I even wrote down his breathing rate, pupil reaction etc just in case we took him to hospital. The shame !