To feel like fucking crying?

Warm soapy water. Then I would use bicarbonate soda to make a paste on it. Leave over night. Hoover in the morning then wash again.

For the love of God.

This is what the OP needs to do? Finesse her housekeeping technique for cleaning her H's uncontrollable explosive poo. The bar is so low it's on the ground.

@Arsewangry. My experience was same- husband called 999as I fainted and couldn’t bring me round , I also chipped a bone in my nose where I had smacked it off the sink— it’s weird one minute I felt sick and upset tummy, next I was out like a light with crap pouring from me— I was mega embarrassed when I came round with paramedics in my bedroom and shit all over bathroom

Mucky git.

When I had campylobacter, it was like my arse was sneezing shite.

Just spat my brew out at this

Only someone who had absolutely no intention of cleaning anything up would shit all over the bed, the floor, the fucking entire house..

I’ve had four very difficult pregnancies, norovirus, and bloody salmonella two years ago. I now have four kids who have been through the usual potty training, have all had noro several times and one of them caught salmonella with me.

I think I’ve only ever had to pick up one proper shit off the carpet and that was while my youngest was potty training.

What the hell is wrong with him?

He's a grown man FFS

I had a horrendous stomach bug last week - all week. The cramping was so bad I could barely move. I needed the toilet constantly for the first 48 hours.

Not once did I sh*t anywhere other than the toilet and I made sure the toilet was left clean.

There is no excuse for this

Poor you

We have some friends who both got norovirus on their honeymoon in a posh hotel somewhere in the Caribbean as a hurricane hit the resort.

The story is horrific. Both vomitting and shitting at the same time, phones down, no Drs available. Hotel hardly staffed because of hurricane. It ended up where they had 3 buckets and a loo and a mega pack if loo roll and just stayed in the bathroom for 48 hours while the hurricane raged outside. Their description of the bathroom is disgusting and I won't repeat it.

I've only had 2 stomach upsets in my entire life: camplylobacter and noro.

When I had campylobacter, it was like my arse was sneezing shite. It was completely uncontrollable and came with zero warning. And with a temp of 40.8, I wasn't up to rushing anywhere. But 2 pairs of my sturdiest undercrackers under my pyjamas, and a couple of old towels beneath me in bed prevented any damage to the mattress, and the only mishap was when a fiercely violent bout of vomitting overshot the bowl, when I was sitting on the lav. And I cleaned it up myself.

How someone gets it all over the house is a mystery to me.

@WeirdlyKind

"My partner has a stomach bug. He caught it off the kids"

Did they $h!£ all over the house as well??

If so, I really feel for you OP.

It can come on from nowhere too. Like you can be feeling a bit off, nothing major, then suddenly you get intense stomach cramps, watery mouth and then you're vomiting with force, but because of the force it shoots backwards as well and every retch sends more out the back as well.

Literally had a guest do it mid sentence in the jewellery shop.

Sorry but I've had noro several times and it sort of explodes out of both ends to start and then runs like a tap out your arse. If he was downstairs when it started then you can't simply stop shitting. Oddly enough no one likes shitting themselves so I doubt he is doing it on purpose. It's humiliating.

When I had it, after the initial burst of vomit and shit I had absolutely no energy and just lay on the floor. Easiest place to lie is in the bath so at least it can be washed down if you have another explosion.

I worked on cruise ships where it's incredibly common and I've seen guests vomit and shit all over the place when theyve been ill. Can't always be helped.

@EdithRea

"Honestly the amount of threads of men pissing in their own bedroom corner, shitting all over their sofas and putting on 'some incontinence pants', these aren't husbands, these are the subjects of documentaries for the rest of us to recoil at."

Bwaahaaa !!

I know your post wasn't meant to be funny but I haven't laughed so much all week.

Where do all these incontinent men come from ?!

I can’t help but laugh at these responses and then the picture. You guys are BRUTAL

feeling for you OP and hubby. Warm soapy water. Then I would use bicarbonate soda to make a paste on it. Leave over night. Hoover in the morning then wash again.
Bin the clothes he’s shit on.
Make yourself a cuppa and get your feet up. Try stay clear of him because it’s so catching. Ignore some of these people on here who clearly act like they’re shit don’t stink

@WeirdlyKind

'Here, have a pic of the bedroom carpet. I've chucked the hall carpet out.'

In the name of sweet reason get him to keep still and sit on some incopads ffs !

Omg this would turn me off for life. I don't think I could look at DH the same again if he did an actual pile of shit next to our bed. I've honestly never heard anything like it.

This is horrendous and I feel for you OP, I can't imagine another adult expecting adult to clean up that mess.

Also don't know if you know but a spoof mumsnet account on Twitter has posted this with pics.

We had it a few weeks ago. I came down with it hard and fast, I was on the loo with a bucket one minute, next minute i woke up on the floor, blood pouring from my forehead, vomiting profusely and simultaneously shitting myself. Fainted and smacked my head off the sink on my way down.

Once I finally thought I was empty (some hours later), I took my sad little bucket to bed, puked, shit the bed and missed the towels somehow.

Horrific. Mattress topper binned.

It happens sometimes, and it's fucking awful, but your DH OP is something else.

Oh @weirdlykind that sounds horrible. I feel so sorry for you. It must absolutely stink . Could he not take a bucket up to bed with him? We used to live in a house with a loo downstairs tucked away in a lean-to when I was very little and my parents used to put a bucket at the top of the stairs for me and my sister (sorry, TMI )

I don't understand either OP. My DH had a weird bug once and was doing it in underwear but not all over the floor and he was washing them. I've got ibs and sometimes been too late but never on the floor. And surely he should be cleaning it up himself.

for you