Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like fucking crying?

419 replies

WeirdlyKind · 06/04/2022 15:15

My partner has a stomach bug. He caught it off the kids and he's had a couple of accidents.

Came in from work today to find the house stinking of shit. It's everywhere - our bed is going to have to be replaced, the bedroom carpet is ruined, it's on the stair carpet and the hall carpet downstairs.

I've just spent 45mins scrubbing the (tiny) bathroom because there was shit literally everywhere.

Can't really afford to buy a new bed but the mattress is heavily stained, now on both sides. It's going to cost hundreds for that and the carpets. Genuinely feel like crying my eyes out. Probably not helped by the fact he's doing nothing to help (like putting his soiled clothes in the shower rather than just leaving them). I've got piles of washing to do still too.

Aibu to be utterly fed up?

OP posts:
AlmostAJillSandwich · 07/04/2022 01:37

Oh op, i sympathise so much with you both.
The level of ill he must be i wouldn't wish on anyone, i had noro for the one and thankfully only time last year, and as a sufferer of extreme OCD about bodily waste and germs it was not a fun time.
I ended up stuck in the bath with the shower running on me as cold as it would go, curled in the bottom and every attempt to get up i nearly fainted and vomited. I felt like i weighed an actual ton, it honestly felt like climbing a mountain just moving from lying to sitting up. For that reason i can understand that he may not have been in a position to clean it up himself at the time, and can only hope all those calling him such awful names have just never been this level of ill, even if they've had the same/similar bug. That he's put the adult nappy on speaks volumes to me that it wasn't intentional, hopefully by the morning he's in a much better state to help clean the bedroom.

Thinking of my own relationship, i'd like to think i'd be so concerned about how ill my partner would have to be for this to happen, that i wouldn't be mad at him, and would help clean up. I certainly know by the person he is he'd be mortified in your husbands situation and would do everything he could to contain and clean up by himself. I hope your husband appreciates how you've handled this and is suitably appologetic/makes it up to you.
Also hopefully the illness doesn't pass to you and you're all well asap. Flowers

searchingforsomethiing · 07/04/2022 01:20

My god should he not be in hospital if he’s that unwell?

HiJenny35 · 07/04/2022 01:19

Two kids have just had noro, both realised that they needed to stay close to the toilet, one slept on the bathroom floor because she knew she couldn't make it back and forth to bed. He's an adult.

bellsbuss · 07/04/2022 01:11

I remember crying like a baby when this happened to me , I literally had no control over my body. You think everything is out then it starts again, DH was amazing and stripped the bed and cleaned the bathroom as I was so weak I couldn't do it. I had to stay sat on the loo with a bucket in the end as I didn't have the energy to keep running to the loo.

EthelTheAardvark · 07/04/2022 00:42

@WeirdlyKind

No additional needs. I think part of the problem is that our loo is downstairs and he's just not making it in time.
But don't most people in that situation just stay in the loo? Or, if he wants to lie down, can't he at least do so in the sitting room so he can get to the loo quickly? And why the hell can't he at least put a towel under himself?
IDidntKnowItWasAParty · 07/04/2022 00:23

Does he not wear clothes?

saraclara · 07/04/2022 00:16

@Springhassprung86

Gobsmacked at some of these posts here. One accident, yea ok. He is literally shitting all over the house like it’s going out of fashion . Stay in one place, for fucks sake!! Why’s is necessary to run all over the house? Shitting?! Jesus.
Have you read OP's posts? He was in bed upstairs and the toilet is downstairs. He was trying to get to the toilet, FFS.
THEDEACON · 07/04/2022 00:13

It's absolutely possible to be that ill ! I highly recommend pet stain spray from Tesco

mathanxiety · 07/04/2022 00:12

Don't buy imodium but he does need Gatorade to replace electrolytes.

mathanxiety · 07/04/2022 00:09

Honestly if you're clearing up contaminated diarrhoea, you're very likely to catch it. It's spread through contact with the vomit and diarrhoea, you don't need to kiss him/hug him to catch it.

YYY and this is why the person with the noro needs to isolate himself or herself in the bathroom and bring a bottle of dettol with.

The OP will catch this and when she finally recovers I bet she'll find mountains of everyone's laundry and piles of dirty dishes, pots, and pans waiting for her to see to.

saraclara · 07/04/2022 00:05

@WeirdlyKind

We don't have a bath unfortunately. Just a very small shower and a bathroom so small you can touch both walls.

Thinking about it with some distance, I think it may have just been one incident that started in the bedroom and a few leaks as he made his way down the stairs.

Which is what I've been saying all along. I know it's easy to say when you're not the one stressed out and cleaning it all up, but surely it was pretty obvious that out happened in bed and he instinctively then tried to get to the loo in a panic, having follow up spurts as he went? I'm not the only one who's described that exact thing happening to me/them.

Nobody, really nobody, would have one accident and then let further separate incidents happen without mitigation.

707smile · 07/04/2022 00:04

@Letsbekindplease

I can’t help but laugh at these responses and then the picture. You guys are BRUTAL

Flowers feeling for you OP and hubby. Warm soapy water. Then I would use bicarbonate soda to make a paste on it. Leave over night. Hoover in the morning then wash again.
Bin the clothes he’s shit on.
Make yourself a cuppa and get your feet up. Try stay clear of him because it’s so catching. Ignore some of these people on here who clearly act like they’re shit don’t stink

Honestly if you're clearing up contaminated diarrhoea, you're very likely to catch it. It's spread through contact with the vomit and diarrhoea, you don't need to kiss him/hug him to catch it.
707smile · 06/04/2022 23:55

Can you buy him some Loperamide/Imodium? (for diarrhoea). It works really well and contrary to common opinion you don't need to 'get rid' of a sickness virus by vomiting or having diarrhoea, the vomiting and diarrhoea are the virus's way of spreading itself to other hosts (like a sneeze).

LikeAStar1994 · 06/04/2022 23:53

@Darbs76

Some pretty nasty comments on here. It’s a long way to the loo when you’ve got norovirus and your only toilet is downstairs. Calling the OP a troll and other rude comments is pretty pathetic. I hope he’s ok OP and poor you having to clean it up. I had to clean a similar bathroom once when my mum had an explosive accident in my house when I was 8 months pregnant
Exactly! Glad I'm not alone in feeling like this too. You would think these heartless, such poor excuses of women would have a tad more empathy and understanding. I dread to think what they're like when their own husbands become ill Hmm
707smile · 06/04/2022 23:53

Wow, I really don't agree with people who think he is doing it to upset/annoy you/be abusive. Surely no-one would ever intentionally do that? Also if he's got Faecal incontinence to the extent that it's soaking through pants and trousers then he must be feeling absolutely miserable! I do remember puking on the landing because the only available toilet was downstairs on one occasion with Norovirus- it was horrible.

I feel so sorry for you too- honestly as an Emetophobe and someone with contamination OCD it's my worst nightmare, well done for coping with this.

LikeAStar1994 · 06/04/2022 23:46

@Letsbekindplease

My god. I’d hate to be married to any of you lot. The poor guy is shitting through the eye of a needle. Clearly can’t clean it up. I’d HAPPILY clean that up if it was my OH. He’s not well
Glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. I would hate to meet any of these people in real life. No wonder the world is such an unbearable place to live.
KELLOGSspeck · 06/04/2022 23:41

@mathanxiety

Do you have a bathtub?

Get him off the couch and into the tub. He needs to stay there until he has recovered. He can put a pillow under his head.

Go and get some sports rehydration drink for him.

Call professional cleaners asap. Stop cleaning this up yourself. You're going to catch the virus.

Regardless of sickness, a grown adult does not turn his home into a midden.

I would make sure he understands this is never to happen again. When you have noro you live in the bathroom until it's over. You lie on the cold tiled floor for three days if necessary.

Yes mum
WhackusBonkus · 06/04/2022 23:38

@Letsbekindplease

My god. I’d hate to be married to any of you lot. The poor guy is shitting through the eye of a needle. Clearly can’t clean it up. I’d HAPPILY clean that up if it was my OH. He’s not well
Happily @Letsbekindplease .. happily?? Surely the best that can be expected in these circumstances is .. stoically Shock And I probably wouldn't manage that
IJoinedJustForThisThread · 06/04/2022 23:38

Could you claim on your home contents insurance to replace the carpet & bed? Accidental damage cover?

KELLOGSspeck · 06/04/2022 23:36

So the bathroom is downstairs? Usually it's up it you only have the one.

You can get things Imodium... why didn't he call for you to leave work if it was soiling through the mattress Confused

Original poster
WeirdlyKind · 06/04/2022 23:25

We don't have a bath unfortunately. Just a very small shower and a bathroom so small you can touch both walls.

Thinking about it with some distance, I think it may have just been one incident that started in the bedroom and a few leaks as he made his way down the stairs.

OP posts:
housemaus · 06/04/2022 23:24

@Springhassprung86

Gobsmacked at some of these posts here. One accident, yea ok. He is literally shitting all over the house like it’s going out of fashion . Stay in one place, for fucks sake!! Why’s is necessary to run all over the house? Shitting?! Jesus.
Thank you! I feel like I've fallen into an alternate reality
Springhassprung86 · 06/04/2022 23:00

Gobsmacked at some of these posts here. One accident, yea ok. He is literally shitting all over the house like it’s going out of fashion . Stay in one place, for fucks sake!! Why’s is necessary to run all over the house? Shitting?! Jesus.

PaperTyger · 06/04/2022 22:53

op this has cheered me up so much .

once DF said - sheepishly - " Paper, i think I have had an accident" as shit slid down his leg - I was in a rented house with a really shitty live in ll about to come home any monent - I say this as I have been in shitty situatins before - more than that but as a quick....i am not judgemental - but this thread has cheered me up can it go in classic/

Chloemol · 06/04/2022 22:51

Sorry but even with the worst bug ever there is no excuse not to make it to the bathroom, and certainly no requirement to shit everywhere in the house

If necessary you literally stay in the bathroom