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AIBU?

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To feel sad DD doesn't want to go to her prom

206 replies

Noprommum · 25/03/2022 00:10

DD, year 11, has said she is absolutely not going to her prom.

She's been saying for a long time she's not keen but I thought she'd come round. Most of her friends are going and have been trying to persuade her but she says dressing up in a pretty dress is just not for her and finds the whole idea of prom cringe and embarrassing and she doesn't want to go. To be fair, she's not a girly girl, lives in joggers and dresses mainly in black so I get that part of it.

She is a very strong character and genuinely doesn't seem to care what others think. However, I do feel lockdown affected her socially, her friendship group has shrunk, she rarely goes out anymore claiming to have social anxiety (which I do think she has). Her best friend since year 7 dropped her recently, although she says she doesn't care as they'd grown apart.

AIBU to feel sad and worried at her missing out? There's no way I'm going to try and change her mind as she's adamant but I can't help feeling sad. I think I'll stay away from social media that day as I know it'll be full of her peers parents posting prom pics and I know I'll feel sad I can't post any myself which I obviously know is bloody selfish as it's not about me!!! However, it's seen as such a big, special event - school have been banging on about it for months!

Anyone else's child not going/didn't go to prom? Is it really such a big deal?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 25/03/2022 01:30

They are a dreadful, dreadful thing. Year 11 girls taught to dress up, look pretty, be homogenous, conform to a load of old bollocks. Be asked by a boy FFS. Yuk.

Your daughter is plowing her own furrow, she's her own person. You are incredibly lucky and so is she.

I have a leggings and hoodies, non-conformer as well. I would have a brilliant night out with her. What would she like? You could find something great. Museums, night out somewhere, special dinner, whatever.

anotherheadache · 25/03/2022 01:29

I went to my prom although it was 20 years ago. I genuinely don't have any memories of the event other than I remember where the venue was.

If she doesn't want to go then so what? It not a big deal.

Norma27 · 25/03/2022 01:26

My daughter isn’t going to hers. To be honest I’m delighted as I think they are tacky and awful. I will probably give her the money to treat her and a few mates to a nice meal somewhere.

CaptainThe95thRifles · 25/03/2022 01:26

I didn't go to mine either. My idea of utter hell. It really isn't a significant event and will have no consequences for her in the future.

SecondhandTable · 25/03/2022 01:21

I didn't go to my year 11 prom or my year 13 prom. Both in different schools, I hated the school I was in for year 11 and loved the school I was in for year 13 but I still didn't fancy prom. I was far from the only person who didn't go to these events, particularly the year 11 one where a few of my friends also didn't go. I don't have any regrets about them, never think about it, I just got reminded cos of your thread.

HappyMeal564 · 25/03/2022 01:17

I didn't go and it wasn't a big deal at all. Not my thing at all then, 20 years later still not my thing.

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