To feel sad DD doesn't want to go to her prom

Just saw it's an old thread!
My advice would be the same to anyone whose child doesn't want to go to prom

I work with teens and plenty dont go by choice and don't regret it.
I never went to my graduation. My nan never forgave me buy I wasn't interested and never regretted that or that after-parties.
Don't be sad for, that's just daft.
If the prom is like any of the ones the girls I know are going to, you have just saved yourself vest part of a grand!
Not only does the dress, bag and shoes cost a fortune but there now make up artist that do make up, hair extensions, eyelashes that would lift you 10 feet in the air if a draft got under them,fake tan etc!

Can you mark the occasion another way? Take her out for a meal perhaps?

Thank you for the update op, lovely to hear your dd is now doing much better and has a new set of friends. My dd has had friendship issues too she does talk to lots of people at school but no real strong friendship bonds except with one girl who is very flaky who very often let's dd down at the last minute if they make plans to go anywhere. Saying that dd is very happy to go to school each day. maybe an anxiety thing with dd too as i think she's not keen on going to prom alone and would rather have a friend to go in with, although I know she will mingle once their.
DD hoping her fresh start at college later this year will mean she'll make new friends and I hope so too.
I suppose I'm more bothered than she is about her missing prom which I know I shouldn't be but for years we are lead to believe it's such a big milestone moment in their lives especially for a dd with the dress etc. it's almost built up to be like a wedding day. I think il have to distract myself on the day from the fact she's not gone.
luckily I'm not big into social media anyway.

Be pleased that she's strong enough to make up her own mind and not be drawn into the imported euphoria around 'prom'. Nowadays some nurseries and primary schools have 'graduation'. What a load of tosh.

I started reading this thread without realising how old it was. Lovely update and I am delighted to hear your daughter is doing better with a different mix of kids. Sounds like she made the right decision.

Lovely update. Thanks.

No need to be insulting to the teens that do go!

It’s likely a friendship issue. Dd1 went with her “gang” they got ready here and we had all the parents over to see them off. It was sweet. No one had pizza lips 🙄

Take her out that night, anything to distract.

Cinema
Shopping
Restaurant

Keep her away from the dreaded SM.

Your daughter sounds as if she is a strong and idependent person. Support her all the way
What a gem! She's nt going to be on SM worrying about how to get stuffed-crust pizza lips or how many likes she has
You have the problem here, altho i can understand your concerns

I found this thread as my dd has also decided she's not going to her prom this year and I too feel so upset about it. She was all for it and planning then decided about a month ago that she's not going. I think it's mostly friendship issues. Did your daughter end up going @Noprommum if not what did she do on the day. I know dd will just end up sitting around at home mostly in her room.

Proms are a load of imported American nonsense. I'd be delighted if my kid realised what a load of crap it all was.

There’s little difference between a prom and a school formal. Good grief.

My mum forced me to go, and tbh I had a great time. But tbh I'd not have felt anything year later if I'd have not gone.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable for worrying at all. I think your worry is definitely more than her not going to prom based on the other things you’ve listed but you’re supporting her and accepting her decisions and that’s the main thing. It’s hard being a teenager, hormones, discovering the world & that the people you’ve always been friends with are actually quite different to you which has all been made harder the last few years - you sound like you’re really in tune with your daughter and care about her wants & needs rather than ‘what’s expected’ so I think she’ll be just fine!

I grew up in the US and I didn't go - there (at the time, it may be different now) it was definitely a couples thing. I didn't have a boyfriend snd I wasn't asked. Only slight tinge at the time as it was such a big deal, but even so not everyone went and I didn't lose any sleep over it.
My daughter had hers last year here and it was lovely - she went with her five besties and they looked so gorgeous. Only one couple in the whole year so it didn't matter a bit and they had a great time. My son's prom was a bit more couples (and he was very much one of them) and it was fabulous too, almost all the kids went and there was an all night after party.
Your daughter doesn't want to go - it's her choice. Sure you can be a bit disappointed, especially if your friends are involved in getting their daughters dress etc. but really she's not missing out - it's one night.

Proms are a load of imported American nonsense. I'd be delighted if my kid realised what a load of crap it all was.

Proms are tacky and just one more example of American culture infiltrating the UK.

Oh, here we go. While I probably would never have gone to a Prom (we don't actually call them that here - I'm not in the UK) and agree that it's nothing to be sad about if someone doesn't want to go, there is nothing wrong with actually wanting to go and enjoying the experience. Each year I go along to watch the kids arriving for theirs here, and I enjoy seeing them and they all look happy - I can see no signs of anything "tacky". Why must people be so judgemental about anything they don't agree with?

I think you should be proud of her for her individuality. She knows it's not her thing and isnt interested in going along with the crowd. Honestly I find it a bit strange how obsessive some parents and kids get over prom.

Ds2 didn't go to his one ( a while ago now ) and many of his friends at the time all boycotted it because of cost and the fact that the ' after party' was the only thing they were truly interested in really. He wasn't one of the cool kids and just wasn't that bothered about it
I know it's different for girls. Are her friends going ?

Proms are tacky and just one more example of American culture infiltrating the UK.

And the U.K. infiltrated how many cultures?

I didn’t go to mine. It was my idea of hell. Almost all of my friends didn’t go to my school and I was pretty alternative (back in the day!). The thought have having to get dolled up and spend the nights with a load of people I didn’t even really like? Nope! And I have no regrets years later.

I think they're awful, so much pressure to look perfect. My ds wouldn't dream of going to his later this year and I'm not disappointed or worried he's missing out, I'm thankful he's not into all that superficial nonsense. I spent way too much of my youth wearing short dresses and make up trying to impress idiot boys.

Proms are tacky and just one more example of American culture infiltrating the UK.
My older sister was "Prom Queen" for her year and has never lived it down. I didn't bother going to mine.