How do you get over pregnancy announcements?

You don't. They just feel gradually less savage. Then one day you think "I'm too old to have a baby now anyway". Then very slowly you don't mind as much.

Oh no, I'm sure she felt awful! Everyone is on 2nd 3rd and 4th, I just feel left behind. Iv been told I have PCOS, told to loose weight. I did loose 5 stone and still nothing and no help. Put all the weight back on again, lost a stone, nothing, no medication or testing because I have a child already. And couldn't afford IVF all this time. I don't know ANYONE going through this and feel like no one understands. I have to take progesterone every 3 months to have a period. I stupidly still some times get hope after all these years and my heart breaks all over again. I should be able to live with knowing it's probably never going to happen again but I can't when I see it every where! People know I can't conceive but they never prewarn me about announcements, not that they should have to of course. i can't even speak to anyone about it, without bursting into tears so I just choose not to. When I have it's been so awkward. X

You don’t! Your alway slightly gut punched! Every Announcement, every baby shower invite!

I hear you I cried many of times. My best friend rang me to tell me she was pregnant with her third the day I had my IVF egg retrieval she felt awful!

are you having treatment? Have you had counselling. I have 2 IVF babies now! Sending you love

I am also into my 10 years TTC baby no2. My son is 14! Did you end up conceiving baby no2. This week I have had 3 friends on socials announce pregnancy, lots of celebs too! Soo heartbreaking, sometimes I struggle to even congratulate them and I feel mean. I just take my self away from socials. X

@namechangeanonymous How wouldn't you feel this way? I find it absolutely normal now and validate my feelings, because they simply make sense. Your feelings are totally valid. Wishing you all the best
xx

I agree it takes years and years. Even now at menopause age I still have this slightly grumpy demon on my shoulder that I have to smack down regularly when a heavily pregnant woman comes into view. I cope well sometimes and badly at other times. Try and be kind to yourself.

It's hard and I'm sorry, it's taken 7 and a half years for us to conceive our child and these announcements always seemed to come around Christmas new year's etc and it spoilt them for me, I wanted to be so happy for my friends I genuinely did but there was part of me who was so jealous.

What a struggle this is for us 😔 We know we're supposed to feel happy and excited for the people around us who are getting pregnant, and although we may show it, there's so much pain, envy and even anger behind it all. I talk about this a lot with my therapist, that helps sometimes. Wishing all of you the very best
xx

Never been able to conceive, all my friends are on to baby number 2 or 3

it eats me up inside sometimes, the best advice I can give is even though it may feel like something is missing, you can’t give up. We may never have kids but keep doing things that make you happy, as wonderful as it could be, things for us could be even better. We just have to believe X

I get you, OP. Just sending hugs.

How long have you been ttc? For me it got a lot better after the first 3 years. It's been 6.5 now and it's not so raw. I think I've just let go of it a bit. It was causing too much suffering.

Totally recommend therapy. And seeking others in the same position.
Feel how you feel, don't push it away or judge yourself.
And self care, it's quite basic but don't spend too much time worrying, go outside, do a gratitude list, cry, buy yourself something nice. It's not easy x

Don't lose hope OP. I hope you don't mind me saying this and I realise I don't know your age, circumstances or health etc but my parents were unable to conceive for 14 years then two of us came along within 4 years of each other. Also my friend & her husband were infertile for 14 years as well and now have 6 children! All very close in age. No medical explanation ever found. So if it's not an impossibility then don't give up hope

My daughter's Auntie on her father's side has had a lot of fertility issues and still won't have anything to do with my child who is now 7. It's very sad. I feel for her, and do my best to be sympathetic and not let myself be angry on my child's behalf.

They are everywhere for sure. I don't really understand the attention seeking, I wouldn't be doing it. Much rather be back in the 50s when women just got on with it and didn't expect praise and draw attention to it. Must be old fashioned! No one really cares about someone's pregnancy other than family anyway.

I usually send a generic congratulatory message just to get it over with, and then put them on silent if possible (you know like 'dont show me content like this') If they are a close friend/relative, I am letting them know that it may take me a bit of time to get back to them because I am dealing with something. It's not easy, keep a journal of all the feelings/emotions that come to you and keep reminding yourself that ALL OF THEM are acceptable and completely normal.

Hugs to you x

Go through Facebook and Instagram and mute or remove anyone who isn’t a close friend, and anyone already pregnant. One of the hardest parts is being caught off guard with pregnancy posts, this should reduce that. If you mute people they don’t know you’ve muted them so it’s perfect. Sending lots of love.

I totally remember this and remember coming off social
Media to avoid the constant announcements and pictures of uteruses.
💐💐

I had miscarriages so understand the pain, I honestly broke down crying seeing a pregnant woman on the cover of a magazine in a shop once. I had to stop using social media and avoid any gossipy news websites for a while, basically tried to avoid pregnancy and babies as much as I possibly could.

I actually just let myself be sad about it. I wait until I’m home of course, I don’t cry in front of a friend who has shared happy news! But I acknowledge that I’m sad, let myself have a little cry, remind myself that them having a baby makes it no less likely that I will have one and try to move on to something else by watching a film or reading a book

Some of these suggestions are really good, thank you.

Sometimes it can seem like there's nothing to do but feel sorry for myself, but going to try some of these. I like the idea of focusing on things we can do without children, looking up holidays as we speak!

It took years for me to have DS. I used to tell myself that the baby isn't a prize, they didn't win and I didn't loose. What I meant was that someone else's pregnancy had no impact on my lack of pregnancy - we hadn't competed for the same baby.
Sometimes it helped. Sometimes I sobbed.

@announceno,

She was a fertility specialist. I did speak to a couple of others too, so you do need to find the correct fit. I really liked that she didn’t do too much psychoanalysis, more just a venting session! She also knew loads about hormone levels and different treatments etc, so could really understand the specifics of what I was going through (receiving test results, having procedures etc) which was important to me. It wasn’t cheap, but on top of what we were paying already for treatment it didn’t feel too bad!