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AIBU?

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Original poster

To insist DD has her own cubicle (or one with a friend?)

134 replies

DiscordandRhyme · 23/02/2022 17:10

My DD(8, nearly 9) has started swimming lessons in her school this term.

DD doesn't feel comfortable getting changed in front of all the other girls. I asked her do the boys get changed all together and she said no - they share cubicles with one other boy.

On the first week she asked and they complained at her for asking but eventually let her 15 minutes later as she was quite upset.

Second lesson her and one of her best friends asked together if they could share a cubicle with each other but the teachers said no and made them do it in the group.

There's about 9 girls in all and although DD has no specific body esteem issues she just doesn't feel comfortable and I think that should be respected 100%.

Would I be unreasonable to insist either DD gets a cubicle to herself or with a friend or I come and take her into one myself to help her? This will be a pain as it's the town over and I have a baby but I don't want my DD to already be told at this age that she has no right to boundaries.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
DiscordandRhyme · 23/02/2022 17:24

@VickyEadieofThigh

Do you know why the boys get to use cubicles but the girls don't?
No - the boys misbehave a lot more than the girls in their class.

My only guess is there are more boys (15 I think)

OP posts:
GiantSpider · 23/02/2022 17:24

I guess it's tricky because if they say yes all the other girls will want one too and there may not be enough cubicles? Not sure why the boys get one though - I'd like to understand the reasons for that.

NewcastleOrBust · 23/02/2022 17:22

I imagine they arrangements are because of the facilities made available to the school by the pool. So it might not be as easy is "can DD have a cubicle?" as there may not be one available and/or it will make supervision difficult.

I agree. There is probably one 'school changing room' and the girls have got it. It is probably a practicality issue rather than the school being awkward.

I would however contact the school to see what the actual situation is and if there is anything that can be done.

You can get surf towels that you can wear which might help her as a short term solution.

The school should not allow you to come an change your daughter in a cubicle.

Comedycook · 23/02/2022 17:20

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping

Maybe they like to keep an eye on the girls (as they should the boys) incase a member of the public shuts themselves in with a girl unnoticed..
Or perhaps the boys are more likely to muck around if changing in a big group?

I think it's a tricky situation as they won't necessarily have the facilities to give all children a cubicle.

Can you buy your dd one of those big poncho towels and she could change under that?

Clymene · 23/02/2022 17:20

I don't think you can insist she gets a cubicle when presumably there aren't enough to go round. It's impossible to supervise a group of children when they're in cubicles.

Are you absolutely sure the boys get a cubicle or is that something she's told you? It seems very unlikely.

Can you get her a changing towel?

Crimesean · 23/02/2022 17:18

What, so the boys can have privacy but the girls can't? That's grossly unfair!

RedskyThisNight · 23/02/2022 17:16

I imagine they arrangements are because of the facilities made available to the school by the pool. So it might not be as easy is "can DD have a cubicle?" as there may not be one available and/or it will make supervision difficult.

Can't she just go in her swim stuff (maybe in a tankini for ease of changing/toilet going) and then get changed back under a towel or even a swimming robe?
Surely she has to change in front of everyone else at PE?

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 23/02/2022 17:15

Maybe they like to keep an eye on the girls (as they should the boys) incase a member of the public shuts themselves in with a girl unnoticed..

VickyEadieofThigh · 23/02/2022 17:12

Do you know why the boys get to use cubicles but the girls don't?

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