To insist DD has her own cubicle (or one with a friend?)

I’m sure it’s to do with practical matters.

Those who say it is criminal to make students change communally in this day and age, will be helping to push schools to reduce or end school swimming, because it just won’t be viable.

As others say, schools are not usually the only users of the pool and there are limited spaces or options available. Sometimes boys and girls will have different facilities…just because the same facilities can’t be made available to both. It’s not a discrimination thing in all liklihood.

If at all posssible, the best solution to this would be a discussion with school about your daughter feeling self conscious. Rather than being critical of the changing arrangements, ask if they have any suggestions to help her. If there are different room options they will know, plus they will know what staffing they have available for supervision and if they can offer something different or just can’t. They might also suggest the poncho towel etc. I’m sure they will try to accommodate your DDs concerns and help her…..within the realms of what is practical at the given location.

Sometimes limited alternatives are available because of staffing and the facility itself. People have to appreciate that rarely will schools be using a pool where multiple surplus to requirements changing rooms are available, plus staffing supervision requirements will (rightly) be strict and tight for safeguarding purposes. So what a child or parent might ideally like might not always be possible. That’s why it’s good to consider simple solutions like the poncho too.

And definitely approach it as a discussion not a criticism. The school hasn’t done anything wrong. The fact boys and girls possibly (and you won’t know unless you talk about it with school and get some facts not hearsay) have different facilities isn’t an issue…if there’s only one area with private changing rooms, why shouldn’t it be boys to have it. Again it could well be due to practicalities and the no of boys suit that area, whilst the no of girls work better for the communal area. These practical issues are often the driving force dertemining what is happening, rather than some desire to treat boys and girls differently, or to insist girls change communally purely for its own sake.

Some people seem quick to see ‘wrong’ and to feel cross or offended very quickly and to want to complain rather than to try and understand what’s going on and communicate and discuss instead of criticising. It’s not a helpful or conducive mindset. Instead, starting from the point the school is probably doing it’s best and has reasons for why things are happening as they are, is probably more helpful and as an approach likely to lead to productive discussion with positive results all round.

Change towels often advertised as surf robes and therefore can be quite cool and useful for beach trips

I think the best idea is show her how to get changed whilst keeping the towel around her. It’s a good skill and could help with shyness. Towel around top to take swimmers off and put t shirt on. Towel around waist to take swimmers off and put pants on. Then she is less likely to worry about it all. I’m not being critical or unsympathetic it’s just that in my many years of parenting I’ve realised I have over complicated so many things. And worried unnecessarily over so many issues. Of course if your daughter wants you to speak to the teacher or to come with her that’s fine and I’d do it. But if she can get on and manage the changing herself I would encourage this.

I had the joy of taking year 5 swimming for a year, a much younger year group. Most children changed in the communal changing area (adults outside) but there were also 3 cubicles and any child not comfortable with this was allowed to change in a cubicle. I don’t think they should be forced to change in front of others if they feel uneasy.

Changing towel was the answer for my dd.

Surely she has to change in front of everyone else at PE?

They don’t have to take their underwear off for pe though! And most schools are going in sports clothes on pe day due to covid.

We have this swim/surf poncho. It's lovely and roomy. Plenty of space to get changed underneath it.

www.decathlon.co.uk/p/kids-surf-poncho-550-135-to-160-cm-etni/_/R-p-309929?mc=8574511

When my DS was in primary and I helped as a volunteer we were given 2 group rooms - one for boys and one for girls

Not that it makes it right but am wondering if there were male teachers accompanying the children would the boys get the group area and the boys the cubicles ?

I think it's unfair too but... I do think it's a useful life skill to be able to get changed without revealing much to anyone.

My daughter hates changing in front of others but I've taught her how to do it without revealing anything. A big towel will help.

I think ideally she should be allowed privacy if she is asking for it. I would talk to the school, at least then you can try to come to an agreement together.

Would a large overhead towel, or cheap version of a dry robe help? Then she could change under the robe.

I don't think yabu but I would get her a changing towel, fairly reasonable. On amazon

I actually can't believe they still put kids through this type of torture in this day and age.

Body confidence and issues are rife at that age and why just why should ANYONE be forced to change in a communal area.
It's awful.
We don't tolerate it as adults and we shouldn't be forcing kids

I am 70 now and still remember school swimming lessons as a nightmare, we did use cubicles in pairs, but they were tiny. I was very shortsighted, I had to leave my glasses in the cubicle, and invariably sat on them while getting dressed, (broke at least one pair per term) if I avoided that they would steam up, making me slow to get dressed, earning a detention for being last. I would have hoped things had improved in the last 60 years but it seems not.

Talk to the school and find out. Your DDs feelings are not unusual I expect, much as I wish no-one had such body issues.

Stand your ground. Your daughter's confidence and wellbeing is very important and the person in charge needs to know that.

Get her a towel she is able to change in, like a poncho but enclosed.

I’d not be too pleased about either of my dds feeling so uncomfortable with other girls catching a glimpse of their body while changing. I’d be teaching them it’s totally and utterly normal to be partially dressed and even nude in some situations.

Body autonomy and good body confidence should BOTH be important. She’s acting like this because she’s been over taught about autonomy and now she’s ashamed.

Wouldn't you be more comfortable naked in front of your best friend than your coworkers for example?

Also just because they're girls it doesn't mean that comments,stares,giggles or other uncomfortable situations can't or don't occur.

Would you really tell someone that if they're ok with one person seeing them naked that means they have to be comfortable with everyone seeing them naked?

Maybe the boys use the cublics an girls don't as there's only 1 group changing room an to keep them separate this is the only way.

The fact that she would happily share with a friend suggests that this might be more about cubicle envy than anything else.

Before asking on here you need to get all your information together,you can't hope for sound advice when people are relying on third hand information from an eight year old.

How is she supposed to go to the toilet as swimming is normally in the afternoon?

No it's not. Schools have swimming lessons at different times during the day, so may not be convenient to go in wearing her swimsuit if the lesson is not first thing, but if she is going swimming in the morning it's ok.

Some of these answers are ridiculous. If someone is old enough to ask for privacy especially regarding their body then they should have it. What does it teach her to say no

She has the right to privacy. It doesn’t matter what the constraints are at the facility, your daughter should not be pressured to remove her clothing if she is uncomfortable. This is non-negotiable. Her boundaries need to be respected.

So work with the teachers to find a solution that allows your child to participate but that does not push her boundaries or disrespect her bodily autonomy. Do not back down on this. Your daughter needs to know that she is allowed to protect herself.