Why are there so many scared woman drivers ? Woman up and learn how to drive !

Maybe women are more inclined to admit that there are aspects of driving that make them anxious, whereas men just wing it. Who knows? But calling women, or anyone, 'super pathetic' for not being like you, is 'super nasty' and glaringly lacking in empathy. Maybe you should mind your own fecking business and concentrate on your amazing driving.

This is a far too judgy post OP. People are scared of what they are scared of.

I don't mind driving but always find the not driving in the dark or on motorways thing interesting as that's what I go out my way to do. Driving in the dark generally means quieter and faster. Driving on a motorway is generally a far easier drive compared to in a town/city and faster too. I'm the one actively looking for motorway routes and to drive at night because they're far easier drives imo. So I'm assuming it's just the thought of it that scares people and the lack of experience doing it. Of course i wasn't confident when I first started driving but it all comes with experience and the more one avoids something the bigger thing it becomes in their head. I would suggest going on short journeys and back to no where, like a motorway junction and back at a quieter time, just to start getting used to it and then keep increasing the distance a little bit too get confidence up to anyone who hates it.

If it's to do with lack of confidence/fear people should be encouraged not shunned and be judged like your post OP.

I used to be quite confident and drove anywhere, parked anywhere. However, that was in a country with a different direction of driving. Also, it was before I had kids. Having my kids in the car makes it harder to focus and I'm feeling more self conscious. I drive when I need to but am not in a rush when not necessary.

I love driving. However, I get treated completely differently by road users when I’m in my fiat 500 compared to my OHs big Land Rover

I love driving 🙂

I have a friend who absolutely hates it and will only drive if she really has too, she won’t drive in town unless she has a job interview or doctors appointment, I often have to drive her to town if she wants to go shopping.

It’s on my bucket list to do my HGV license and I would happily have a driving job. I drive all over the uk with my dc, visiting cities, towns and various camp sites, so I find it hard to understand why others are petrified.

I’ve had my licence since I was 21 and I used to drive everywhere on my own, was always confident etc but I was in a bad relationship for 13 years and I was the only driver. We always had shit cars that seemed to break down all the time including motorways and I was never on my own in the car too. Then i met my late husband and he did most of our driving and had a lovely car so in a way it was a relief to hand the wheel to him

Now he’s gone and my confidence is slowly growing I am fine round town on my own but long distance by myself no one else in the car is hard for me but I’ve made myself do it (drive 2 hours from north wales up to Cumbria twice now)
That’s the reason why I’ve been anxious about driving not because im ‘pathetic’ but because I’ve been through some trauma in my life which needs working through

think a lot of the time, women who are scared of driving are afraid of bad judgements from others in general.

I don't think this reflects me. It's driving long journeys with children I find anxiety inducing. The travel sickness. The questions as you are circling a roundabout and making sure you're in the right lane, the squabbles you can't break up. Driving on my own is a pleasure.

I love driving, always have. No issues, fairly confident on motorways, etc. But I'd never pull another woman down who wasn't as I would realise that there was a reason for this..

I will never drive. Just no. Problems with coordination and concentration. I hate risk. Driving is facing fatal risk every day, some people can't just ignore that. At least people won't die because of me f* up. I don't understand the anger - roads are safer without bad drivers.

Not read the full thread but can I venture that it’s because cars aren’t designed for women.

I struggle a bit being 5ft 1 and not having as good a view of the road as my 6ft 1 husband. I’m better when my seat is elevated as far as it goes but ideally I’d like it higher. The glare from the streetlights on the road at night really affects my vision.

I’m a perfectly competent and confident driver thank you but night driving is more difficult.

I think @housemaus makes some very good points. There are many people for whom driving is understandably frightening because they have had a bad experience, because they have medical conditions or disabilities that affect eyesight and coordination and confidence, because they feel bullied on the road. All of this totally understandable and deserves sympathy, not disdain.

But there is definitely a breed of women who go down the ‘learned helplessness’ route with driving in the same way that so many men do learned helplessness with regards to cooking/housework/childcare. In essence, they don’t want to do it, so they invent excuses. The ‘ooh I couldn’t possibly, I get DH to do the driving, I can’t cope with cars / traffic lights/ turning right / paying for petrol / driving down a one way street, ha ha ha, tinkly laugh, I’m just a helpless lil’ old woman!!’ brigade.

Those kind of women are exactly the same as the kind of men who claim they can’t possibly learn to boil pasta, put a wash on or put the DC to bed. In a nutshell, pathetic.

I have huge sympathy with the “understandably frightened” group but none whatsoever for the “learned helpless” one.

I think its a useful skill to have and I'm glad I learnt as a teen.
I started doing much more driving when I had children as it would limit days out or where I could take them if, if I had to rely on public transport.

However there seems a certain section of MN who seem to think they're far superior because they drive long distances without breaks/are never nervous/have a 10 tonne lorry etc.
A friend of mine doesn't drive (I don't know the reason) I give her lifts sometimes, she does a lot more walking than me and is probably fitter. It doesn't make me a better person.

Now I look from the bus and especially the top deck, you see astonishing stuff.

In a cab on the motorway, we saw a driver smoking what I thought was a comedy spliff, it was that big.

Op are you aware that increased anxiety is a menopause symptom?

YABVU
Ive passed my test 30 years ago, i have retaken lessons about 5 years ago. I hate driving and it scares the life out of me. I feel i am on a rollercoaster when i am driving . I know my limitations and driving is one of them .
I live on the edge of London and can get most places quite easily without driving , so we dont have 2 cars which is more environmentally friendly.

We all have different skills and i dont see why driving cant be a skill that some people dont have.

I think a lot of people are conflating two ideas here. Women who are not confident in their driving abilities can be perfectly confident in other areas of their lives such as work, sport, social occasions etc.
A pp mentions women not seeing themselves as equally capable as men, in my case that has nothing to do with it. I see myself as equally capable as men in lots of areas but I am not equally capable as most men or women at driving. I am nervous and jumpy. I am a clumsy person, I can barely get a fork to my mouth without spilling something.

That does not make a good driver. I suspect if I had been born twenty years later I would have been diagnosed with dyspraxia.

There are loads of things I’m good at. And I’m sure I’m better than OP at some. And braver. But I am a poor driver. That doesn’t make me a meek little woman. It means I know my own personal limits.

Speed cameras, bus lanes, tricks to fine you at every level, plus the amount of traffic in London especially with ULEZ has put me off a bit.

No public transport here, so driving is definitely needed unless you want to stay in a rural hamlet with only a phone box for entertainment.

I have no issue about driving and regularly did 30k miles each year. I still do c15k. As I get older, I am less keen on night time driving as most of the roads here are unlit but I still do it.

My DDs are in their early 20s. One enjoys driving but lives in Cambridge where a bike is infinitely more practical. The other is home at the moment but really doesn't like driving. She will do it when she has to - eg go into town for something - but if we are going together, she prefers it if I drive. Parking is not something she likes. DH would never dare to criticise my driving as he knows he would be doing a lot of walking. He is happy when I drive as he likes to work/read in the passenger seat. Equally, I am not a great passenger and his car has a wavy pattern on the dashboard that makes me feel sick so I tend to drive.

I would HATE to be a learner driver/new to driving now. Roads are busier, drivers more aggressive and headlights brighter. Also, nobody seems to know how to use a roundabout properly anymore.

I’ve been driving for over 25 years and it’s gone from being a mostly pleasant, freeing experience to a mostly stressful one.

I dislike driving at night as I find oncoming headlights blinding and headache-inducing.

Motorways on the other hand are easier than they ever were as more cameras mean fewer speeding arseholes.

AAAAARRRRGGGHHH and I don't even drive any more.

I can never get a date for my driving test, my work will not allow me time off. My theory test certificate is now out of date. I cannot afford to keep up taking lessons until I get a date. I have no way of getting private lessons. I cannot afford a childcare to watch DC while I have lessons. My driving test date has been postponed 7 times due to the pandemic. New priorities have come up so I cannot afford the time and money over those.

Open your goddamn mind. YABVVU 🖕