Why are there so many scared woman drivers ? Woman up and learn how to drive !

I've been a confident driver for years and have driven myself all over the UK. However I do find now I'm mid 50s I dislike driving in the dark, I find the glare of the headlights very bothersome (I live where there are not many streetlights). I wouldn't say it's made me nervous but I avoid it where possible.

"I'm not like them other girls. I'm a cool girl."
...

[quote TatianaBis]@thewhatsit

Lack of desire to drive aside - which is up to you -

Do you feel like you had enough lessons if you drove into a curb?

Do you not feel like you could improve with practice?

I find all this interesting.[/quote]
I had about six years of lessons most weeks, so yes I probably had enough. Once I’d eventually passed I did go for drives with DH but time after time it was just all so bad I just stopped.

I don’t really understand how it’s not the same as anything else in life. I remember trying to coach my sibling through GCSE Maths.. he had as much and then more tuition than me but scraped a C grade. If some people just don’t “get” Maths maybe it’s just the same as driving? He can drive by the way - he just sucks at probabilities and trigonometry..

It probably is at least partially special awareness as a PP mentioned, I’m also not good if a ball is thrown at me.
I have 2 DC and I reckon DS won’t ever be able to drive, his special awareness is worse than mine. I think DD will do it easily though - assuming driving is still a thing in the future (for my sake I’m just hoping for driverless cars!).

Not all of us take naturally to driving, whether women or men. I don't and never will. I'm not bothered about being in that category at all because I am happier not driving.

I dont think a nervous driver should be on the road, full stop. If you're not capable of jumping in your car and driving anywhere, you shouldn't be driving.

So, whilst I agree with you in so far as I dont understand the level of nerves people have driving and yes, mostly women. I'd be happier if they stayed off the road altogether and let their "man" do the driving if needs be. If they're pootling down a clear 60mph road at 40mph because they're scared , they're a risk.

Equally, speeders and aggressive drivers should also get off the road. Both types of driver are as bad as each other.

I hate driving, always feel I might die or kill my family.

Over a million people die in car accidents every year in the world. It seems crazy up me that driving is actually allowed. I just hope driverless cars come along soon!

There are probably plenty of men who don’t like driving either but it would be more embarrassing / less socially acceptable for them to be open about it.

I have been the nervous person, and the one who does most of the driving in our household.

In my experience, in many heterosexual couples, the norm is that the man drives on all family outings. This may mean the woman only does short journeys locally as the man “doesn’t like being a passenger” or doesn’t like managing the kids, or keeps mansplaining when she drives instead of supporting her to get past her nerves. Eventually the routine is set that he does most of the driving and so she has no confidence in her ability to tackle a motorway. This does not make her in any way pathetic. I can absolutely see how it happens - and unless you have a degree of determination, unlimited access to a vehicle and passengers who aren’t going to be mansplaining twats, the odds are not in your favour to get past it.

I’ve had long breaks from driving due to not having a car and also have issues with anxiety. For me, the only way to get past it was to drive - on every type of road, at every opportunity. I was able to do this as I had unlimited access to the car. Also, I was determined not to become someone with a licence who effectively couldn’t drive or who had to censor journeys depending on what road was involved.

And I had a supportive DH, who is actually the less confident driver out of the two of us and wasn’t driving when we first got our car - so I had to drive.

My take is that with x number of lessons, you pass your test - most people are not terribly proficient at that point - if those lessons are the only driving they've done.

I did masses of driving practice before I took my test and I'm sure that made all the difference in the world.

I wonder if some people think when they pass their test - this is as good as they will ever be - and so give up. Whereas in fact most people improve significantly in their first 5 years.

*If you think you're going to kill someone's because you're driving is so bad.... keep off the road!!

Jesus, why would you put it to the test?*

Jesus, where’s your reading comprehension and why do you keep yelling?

I don’t drive whatsoever. I have not been behind the wheel of a car since 2012 and that was practicing on a parking lot. Before that I was behind the wheel in 2003. I learned in secondary under an instructor on the road and even though I did well, received a permit, I wasn’t comfortable nor enjoyed it. After being in accidents as a passenger, watching most of the people I know go 0 to 100 in anger when they’re behind the wheel, nearly being killed by bad drivers just walking and having a friend whose life was dramatically shortened after being in a car accident at 18 where she nearly died, couldn’t walk again, had to relearn everything, only to fall into a coma and died at 24 from the injuries she suffered, I rather not drive.

You could be the best driver in the world and all it takes is one mistake that can hurt someone. I don’t like driving, never have nor want to take the chance small or not on hurting someone while I’m behind the wheel regardless if it is my fault or theirs. I know my limits and my comfort zone and driving is not one of them. If that’s dramatic, fine but I can easily say I’m more than happy to live with that.

@thewhatsit

Lack of desire to drive aside - which is up to you -

Do you feel like you had enough lessons if you drove into a curb?

Do you not feel like you could improve with practice?

I find all this interesting.

I'm a confident driver. Drive thousands of miles every year for work.
It wouldn't enter my head to criticise other people who don't feel so confident doing it.

I do understand fear of driving, there’s a lot hanging on one’s ability to drive safely. OTOH……some people are afraid of flying but will quite happily get into a car even though the latter is much more dangerous statistically speaking.

If people feel that they are not good enough drivers and therefore avoid it surely that’s better than being overconfident and putting yourself and others at risk?

Wow, this is so awful.

I don’t drive - I’ve tried and somehow managed to pass a test. The last time I got up the nerve to have another go and I managed to get stuck on a curb about 25 metres from where I’d started.

It’s not anything to do with male drivers by the way. I’ve never had any problem with anyone being aggressive.

We can’t all be good at everything. I can do a tax return with my eyes closed. I’ve passed every exam I’ve ever taken - via the driving one - with the highest grade on offer. I can do basic DIY in the house. I can’t fucking drive.

This thread is sexist and judgy. Good job.

YABU. Exactly what @BaruFisher says. I'm a very nervous driver, won't drive motorways and it has zero to do with being female or scared of men on the roads and everything to do with the fact that my spatial awareness is shocking, I find it very difficult to judge when to pull out or move out / in on a motorway and while yes, I'm very sure it would improve with regular practise, it's not ideal to be learning in a situation where a split second error could cost not only your own life, but that of many others around you.

The one thing I WILL say that possibly differentiates the genders is that men are less likely to be driving - or learning to drive - with small children in the car. So perhaps they are more willing to gamble with their safety than mothers are. I know that even if I'd risk myself, I absolutely wouldn't put my kids in that position because I can't confidently say I'm safe to look after them in it. And a number of instructors have confirmed the same - even with dual control etc I've been told I'm just not safe on the motorway, although I'm a passable driver on quiter smaller roads for school runs.

I think it's super pathetic to be honest to not be able to drive properly. I do judge people who can't. I don't care what you think of that. I get judged every day for things I do. This one I find super pathetic and I think women need to get on with it.

I don't like driving and really couldn't give a shit whether people like you find that super pathetic or not. I'd rather take the train on long journeys so that I can relax and sit reading my book.

If that means I am super pathetic and letting the sisterhood down is some way then so be it. I am happy as I am.

You do you. Does it really matter what anyone else does or doesn't do?

Jesus, why would you put it to the test?

very strongly encourage parents to get lessons for their kids as soon as they are old enough! And ideally have a car where said kids can drive from day 1.

I agree with this and my children will have lessons when they're 17. I didn't learn until my late 20s as I couldn't afford it before and it was hard work, I don't believe it would have been as hard 10 years earlier.

I am fine driving now, happy on motorways and go everywhere.

*Murder?

Don't be so dramatic!!

Manslaughter, death by da heroes driving?

If you think you're going to murder someone by driving, keep off the fucking roads,*

So you are cursing at someone and telling them to stay off the roads when they have already said they don’t drive with a really good reason why and I’m the dramatic one?

Regardless of intention or not, I don’t want to be responsible for seriously injuring or killing someone for something I don’t have to do or need to do.

I'm super pathetic then. I'm a distinctly nervy driver currently and my anxiety was caused by the behaviour of a man. All he did was drive his car into mine at speed on the wrong side of the road and nearly kill me, but damn, I'm such a wuss, it's left me twitchy behind the wheel , inclined to avoid the road where I nearly died and deeply suspicious of young men in hot hatches. I'm a disgrace to womankind.

*dangerous

Don't be so dramatic!!

Manslaughter, death by da heroes driving?

If you think you're going to murder someone by driving, keep off the fucking roads,