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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect people I know to read my book?

464 replies

bethc765 · 04/02/2022 15:32

In October I released my first book. It's something I've been working on for a long time and something I've dreamt of since I was little.

It's been really well received, got a brilliant critical reception and I've had excellent feedback from readers.

But not a single person apart from my DH has even bought it. I was out with a friend recently and we went into Waterstones and I pointed it out and she remarked "oh i didn't realise it was a proper book and in shops and stuff".

I have a signing event coming up in March and mentioned it in passing and my friends seemed perplexed as to why anyone would want a book signed by me.

I support my friends with their endeavours so I'm a little bit hurt that nobody I know has shown the slightest bit of interest in something that was really important to me. I'm not even asking them to read it- just pretend they have!

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 04/02/2022 19:16

I have previously bought a book to support a friend. Actually, I can think of 3 occasions, for 3 different friends. One was a pile of badly written cliched crap. One was well researched, but so densely turgid I couldn't finish it, which is unheard of for me. And one was okay. I'm not exactly inspired to support any more friends in their publishing endeavours. Trying to find nice things to say about their output, without outright lying, was...challenging.

strawberriesarenot · 04/02/2022 19:14

@AppropriateAdult

Her husband bought her book to be supportive, folks. Because that's what you do, when someone you love has their debut out - even if you've already read it when it was a lowly Word document and there are half a dozen proof copies knocking around the house, you buy the book. Because sales numbers for most books are low enough that 20 of your family and friends buying it in the first week or two can really make a difference. They don't actually have to read it.

I'd be disappointed in that friend's response too, OP. I know only too well how difficult it is to get a novel traditionally published - it's quite possible your friend has no idea, but her response is still a bit off.

It's a wonderful achievement, and I hope it's the start of a fabulous career for you. Congratulations Flowers

It really isn't true that 20 friends and family rallying round to buy copies will make the slightest difference in mainstream publishing. Ten times that wouldn't either, because it would just look like a blip. Publishers count on getting steady sales in the hundreds from their target audiences. They will also look at where the books are selling. So if your mum and her entire WI are buying up the local Waterstones stock in your home town it will be all too apparent that this isn't anything but a one off.
Roselilly36 · 04/02/2022 19:14

I would be hurt too OP. It’s a great achievement, congrats I would definitely want to read a book that a friend of mine wrote. Flowers

Verillion · 04/02/2022 19:13

My mum doesn’t read my books…

Undertheoldlindentree · 04/02/2022 19:12

A close friend of mine from school has published several books. I greatly admire her ability and success with them.....but haven't bought or read any as it would feel too personal...I don't want to see into her mind as it were.

WonderfulYou · 04/02/2022 19:12

YANBU
They sound jealous. Lots of people want to publish their own books but never get round to it so I’m wondering if they’re annoyed you did it first.

I would buy and read a friend/family members book, even if it wasn’t my cup of tea as I’d want to support them and I hope they’d do the same for me.

The only way I wouldn’t support you if it was something I didn’t believe in and didn’t want to support eg conspiracy/anti/vaxx etc

Jjjayfee · 04/02/2022 19:11

I think book choice is a very personal thing. I would only want friends who
liked my subject and style to read my book. Was it self published or did you get chosen by a publisher?

riotlady · 04/02/2022 19:11

YANBU to want them to be supportive but I read my (at the time) boyfriend’s dad’s book and he included a sex scene between characters that were clearly based on him and his wife… couldn’t look him in the eye for a while and I would think twice now about reading a book by someone I know!

MargosKaftan · 04/02/2022 19:10

I donthink its odd they didn't buy it- I do think its odd your friend would do something as massive as get their first book published, and you wouldn't have paid any attention to that to the extent that you be surprised to find the book for sale in a "real" bookshop and shocked she's having signing sessions.

I know quite a bit about my friends' new jobs. I've been excited for my friend who has set up her own pilates business even though I dont do pilates myself. When another friend landed the job she'd been training for for over a year, I was happy for her and arranged to go for a drink to celebrate, asking her all about it, even though I think it sounds an incredibly dull way to spend your life. Another friend remembered me saying I was bored at work recently, and sent me a photo she took of a job advert she'd seen and thought I'd be perfect for.

It seems so strange to be friends with someone and have no interest in their achievements, even if its an achievement you wouldn't want for yourself. The lack of interest in the OP does sound a bit like they arent equal friends.

UndertheCedartree · 04/02/2022 19:09

@AlternativePerspective - I agree. Those that have said they'll buy the book have probably been PMed and of course anyone interested could find the name out easily enough. It almost seems more interesting because the OP has not enlightened us to the name of the book!

Lilymossflower · 04/02/2022 19:09

If I had a friend who published a book, I would try my best to be at the book signing to show my support, even if I couldnt afford to buy the book or had no interest in the subject matter. And if I couldn't make the signing due to child commitments or whatever , I would be verbally exited and supportive ! It's an amazing achievement and I would be proud of my friend! Well done op

HomeHomeInTheRange · 04/02/2022 19:06

As I am interested in the way my friends think…that is why we are friends after all… I can’t imagine not being interested in what they have written, even if I don’t necessarily like it.

@LoisLane66 I celebrate and take an interest in all sorts of my friends achievements: promotion, having a baby, new recipe, recent holiday, work life etc.

What sort of miserable catsbum-mouthed mate takes no interest in what is objectively a considerable achievement?

neverbeenskiing · 04/02/2022 19:04

I think YABU. One of my best friends makes computer games for a living and is pretty successful at it, but I've never bought any of them and he wouldn't expect me to because he knows it's not my thing.

QueenoftheFarts · 04/02/2022 19:02

I have a friend who is a published author. I find their writing boring as arse. But I like the friend so I just pretend I love them.

erinaceus · 04/02/2022 19:00

Congratulations on getting your first book published. Sincerely, that is a massive achievement. You have already done something many people only dream of.

However, I don't think you can reasonably expect people you know to buy and read your book. Getting a book published is a career milestone in some sense, and whilst one is pleased for one's friends' career milestones, it cannot be expected that they spend some hours of effort on them IYSWIM. I think if you really feel you need someone to read your book you need to get a copy to them and request that they read it. Otherwise, just enjoy your success and your book signing!

I've read a couple of my friends' published books and I found the experience pretty cringe, largely because you can hear the author's voice in the writing and somehow when I know them this aspect is excruciating, however good the writing is.

Again, congratulations, don't let your friends' lack of interest take away from your broader critical acclaim, and get going on your next mission Grin

Livelovebehappy · 04/02/2022 19:00

It’s a great achievement but I really wouldn’t expect people to buy it or read it. I’d mention it to people and would leave with them as to whether they wanted to. I love reading, but only a certain genre of books, so just wouldn’t read something that would bore the socks off me.

charlotterousse · 04/02/2022 18:59

@LoisLane66

The OP's friends weren't interested by all accounts so no different to me being uninterested. I wouldn't fork out money to buy something simply because a friend made it or wrote it. Buying an item you don't want is foolish in the extreme...IMO BTW, a big shout out to all those who've worked hard for the past few years at whatever job they do, all without seeking recognition and applause.
A big shout out to all those generous, warm people who take honest pleasure in others' achievements and who don't feel the need to cattily put strangers in their place on the Internet.
tearinghairout · 04/02/2022 18:53

Well done, OP! I think your friend is jealous. What's that saying about a prophet being ignored in his own country? Or maybe, familiarity breeds contempt? If it were my friend who'd been published I'd be thrilled for her!

LoisLane66 · 04/02/2022 18:51

The OP's friends weren't interested by all accounts so no different to me being uninterested. I wouldn't fork out money to buy something simply because a friend made it or wrote it. Buying an item you don't want is foolish in the extreme...IMO
BTW, a big shout out to all those who've worked hard for the past few years at whatever job they do, all without seeking recognition and applause.

ABitOfAShitShow · 04/02/2022 18:50

Also - congrats! It’s such a lot of hard work and an amazing achievement!

ABitOfAShitShow · 04/02/2022 18:49

I would expect them to buy it but not read it. Which seems weird probably but it would show they wanted me to be successful without them having to pretend they loved it.

That said, I’ve half written 2 novels and when I finish them, I have no intention of telling people and would publish under a pseudonym.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 04/02/2022 18:46

Fan fiction, not FSM.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 04/02/2022 18:46

Huge Congratulations OP, invite me to your book launch and signing, I would love to come!

God how weedy and ignorant people are! A book stocked and with a signing at Waterstones is hardly some unedited self published FSM fiction and has been through very very tough quality control. It is HARD getting published!

No book will be to everyone’s taste, and is disappointing that so many people feel unable to say ‘ well dine, fantastic achievement, I enjoyed xxx but overall not my kind of book but it’s brilliant to see it so well received”.

Hopefully your success will give you a wider circle of friends who enjoy talking about books!

nokidshere · 04/02/2022 18:45

I think you're being a bit precious

Seriously? We have become so disconnected that wanting our friends to be happy and support us is seen as a weakness now? My friends would buy it even if they hated it simply because they are my friends (or I would have already given them a copy).

Well Done OP, fantastic achievement!

Ladywoodster · 04/02/2022 18:44

I would buy it and try to read it if I was passably interested the subject matter.
However much I like you, I might not buy it if it was about something I really wasn't interested in eg a science fiction novel or your journey to becoming a born-again Christian.