To expect people I know to read my book?

I used to write regularly for a magazine. The first few I was very excited about and begged everyone I knew to read them (no idea if they did!) but after 50 odd articles, I really didn't mind. In fact if someone said 'that was a good/shit/alright/what were you thinking article', I'd be quite surprised - I wasn't writing for friends and family, I was writing for people who may be interested in the subjects.

I think I’d be a bit bemused too — unless the OP is some kind of celebrity, a ‘signing’ would be an unusual event for a debut author . It would be more likely to be a reading, maybe grouped with some other local debuts, or maybe a launch. I was at a local Waterstones’ last week, and there was an ‘in conversation with’ between two major local authors (careers of 40 years plus, multi-award-winning) and even then, I don’t think more than 20 or so people bought their new books to have signed.

We don’t know that the friends haven’t congratulated her and been nice about her book.

I would definitely try and read a book that a friend had written.

Oh no!
That should have been their super, not they're support.
Oops.

"So, does support equate to spending money? Because that is what your post implies.

Now, I agree that OP's friends seem entirely disinterested in her and what she has done. And that's really horrible actually. But I dont agree that in order to show support, they need to make a purchase. That isnt friendship. That's an exchange of money.

They're support should be shown by congratulating her, taking her out for celebratory drinks, maybe even shouting out on social media about how happy they are for her. You know, just being a friend. But saying that they need to spend money on something they may not have a personal interest in, in order to show support, isnt very nice."

I totally agree with this. Support - yes. Be there to celebrate etc, acknowledge the hard work, absolutely.

But I do find it strange that the support is supposed to extend to buying the book. A few posters have said that they would even if it sat gathering dust unread, as that's what friends do. I disagree. You can be supportive but not buy or read the book. Friendship doesn't come with a price tag.

If one of them chose to buy a copy, he'd be delighted, and would say 'thanks very much, I hope you enjoy it' or words to that effect, but wouldn't bring it up beyond that unless they wanted to talk about it further.

@PugInTheHouse

I have bought all the books my friends have published, I haven't read them as not my cup of tea but I would always support them. Actually one friend wrote an academic book, it was over £100 so I didn't buy that

It really surprises me how little support people tend to give each other. Over the last couple of years I have realised who true friends are due to how much they support me and my family. There is a massive difference between the support I have given them and what I get back (nothing money related just general support) and to be honest I can't be bothered any more.

Now, I agree that OP's friends seem entirely disinterested in her and what she has done. And that's really horrible actually. But I dont agree that in order to show support, they need to make a purchase. That isnt friendship. That's an exchange of money.

They're support should be shown by congratulating her, taking her out for celebratory drinks, maybe even shouting out on social media about how happy they are for her. You know, just being a friend. But saying that they need to spend money on something they may not have a personal interest in, in order to show support, isnt very nice.

My rule is: if someone asks about one of my books, I kinda nod and say, "Yeah, it's on Amazon," and I'm happy to leave it at that. If they want to talk about it further, I say, "Well, feel free to read it. I'll send you a link." And then I say, "Don't worry - I promise never to ask you what you thought of it, or even mention that you said you'd like to read it."

I think often friends are reluctant to read your stuff in case they think it's terrible. So I give them the assurance that they won't have to tell me.

So many people on MN seem to regard friends as people you regard somewhere between indifference and silent disdain.

YABU and putting them in a very awkward position, not only do you want them to spend time and give you money for your book, but what happens after they've read it?
You clearly care deeply about this book so how offended are you going to be if they don't like it?

Your keeness to have them read it sounds like it would put a strain on your relationships if they don't love your book which is a lot to ask given how much personal taste factors into reading choices, which would be a good reason for them to avoid it even if it was something they wouldn't typically live.

I have bought all the books my friends have published, I haven't read them as not my cup of tea but I would always support them. Actually one friend wrote an academic book, it was over £100 so I didn't buy that

It really surprises me how little support people tend to give each other. Over the last couple of years I have realised who true friends are due to how much they support me and my family. There is a massive difference between the support I have given them and what I get back (nothing money related just general support) and to be honest I can't be bothered any more.

A lot of (wilful) ignorance around books and publishing on this thread. (My hobby-business, outside of my day job, is book-related). Yes, there are some bad, boring, unedited self-published books out there and there are amateur authors who are great on self-promotion and not-so-good on the actual writing. But there are also some perfectly wretched books published traditionally and expensively promoted (think of all the dreadful z-list self-help books and, indeed, wossname the influencer's 'novel' that was written by some junior editorial assistant for her).
Some people start by self-publishing (or via hybrid publishing ie no advance, small royalties and do your own promo) and go on to do very well indeed. Publishers are often a bit limited in what they will accept and will turn down often very good books because they are too niche, or the topic is unfashionable/too fashionable ie there are millions of books about sexy billionaires or cupcake shops - or zompoc - out there at present.

But OP's friends seem to have been particularly rude and dismissive of an achievement she is justifiably proud of. One of my books was read by nearly all my mates as it was on a topic they were interested in, some of the others get asked about and often read (I have a habit of using FB for research, which tends to get them interested).But most people, surely, can spare a few minutes to congratulate a friend and wish them well when they have good news.

Free copies to friends

But I do see where OP's disappointment is coming from - sounds like she may be surrounded by people as dull and mean-minded as some of the posters on this thread.

@stuntbubbles I agree OPs friends should not be dismissive, but she does expect them to buy the book, it's literally in the thread title as they're not going to be able to read it unless they buy a copy.

If they're your friends & you want them to read it. Give them a copy, don't expect your friends to buy from you, that's a bit unfair. I have a list of friends who have books published & I was given a book by most of them. I get this is expensive to do with everyone, but with the close friends you expect support from, it's a bit tight not to just give them a copy of your book

I think that's disappointing from your friends and family. My brother and son are published authors and they always give me a copy, but also, I always buy their books as presents for people to support my db and ds. And obviously I attend their book signings/evenings with the author.
I'd be pissed off with my friends if I were you.
Congratulations!

OP isn't much of a writer. No responses to 20 pages.

In any case, the OP wasn’t asking for her friends to buy the book and I’m not sure why the thread is so intently about that. She’s asking for them to be less dismissive: they’ve expressed surprise it’s a “proper” book in Waterstones, and dismissed her signing as “why would people want that from you?” As an author I don’t expect my friends to buy or read my book any more than I want to look at their lesson plans or journal article, but I do expect them to be pleased for me as I am for their achievements, and the OP is no different.

I would almost certainly buy and read a fictional book read by a friend but I'd lie about having read it if I didnt like it (one of my friend's husbands is a published author, I think his stuff is a pile of shite so I dont mention I've read it. Fictions such a personal taste).

OP never came back