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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people I know to read my book?

464 replies

bethc765 · 04/02/2022 15:32

In October I released my first book. It's something I've been working on for a long time and something I've dreamt of since I was little.

It's been really well received, got a brilliant critical reception and I've had excellent feedback from readers.

But not a single person apart from my DH has even bought it. I was out with a friend recently and we went into Waterstones and I pointed it out and she remarked "oh i didn't realise it was a proper book and in shops and stuff".

I have a signing event coming up in March and mentioned it in passing and my friends seemed perplexed as to why anyone would want a book signed by me.

I support my friends with their endeavours so I'm a little bit hurt that nobody I know has shown the slightest bit of interest in something that was really important to me. I'm not even asking them to read it- just pretend they have!

OP posts:
Catswhisky · 04/02/2022 17:03

YANBU. Congratulations on your book.

I would definitely buy a friend’s book, and read it. Just the same as I would go to their coffee shop, or book a massage/haircut/nails with them if they opened one of those businesses. It’s supporting them, even if it’s not something I would normally do.

If you do happen to be the author a pp mentioned I bought that book on kindle this morning and will be starting it tonight.

stuntbubbles · 04/02/2022 17:02

OP posted that she rote a book and when it was published, when the signing event is, it wouldn’t be hard to go and do some research to find out what book it was would it?
The UK publishes 188,000 books a year and signing events are a standard marketing tool, I think we’d need a lot more to go on to narrow it down…

redbigbananafeet · 04/02/2022 17:01

[quote Workconundrummergirl]@redbigbananafeet
I think had it been me I'd have gifted my book to my friends. I wouldn't be expecting them to pay £15 for it in Watsrstones
I can well imagine the MN thread.

Every year I spend ages picking out the most exquisite personal presents for all my friends. This year, my supposed best friend brought me HER book as part of my Xmas present. If I'd been interested in reading it, I'd have brought it myself. Aibu to think you don't give people your own book unless you're an ego maniac and friends should be free to choose their own books?[/quote]
I wouldn't give it to them as a Christmas present!

saraclara · 04/02/2022 17:00

Someone I know wrote a book. I bought a copy, didn't particularly enjoy it. But that wasn't the problem. I found that, in a weird way, it changed the way I thought of her. As if the person who wrote this book was her hidden persona. As if there was part of her that I didn't know about. I found it uncomfortable.

I am aware that it is probably me that's weird. But it would stop me doing that again.

StrychnineIntheSandwiches · 04/02/2022 17:00

@AlternativePerspective

Actually I’m wondering if PP is right and this is essentially a stealth publicity/advertising post.

OP posted that she rote a book and when it was published, when the signing event is, it wouldn’t be hard to go and do some research to find out what book it was would it?

And she’s a first time poster. If she’s a regular mn’er she would presumably want people here to know that she, a regular mn’er, had published a book? And if she’s a first time poster then why would she join a site like this one when presumably she will be on numerous writers’ forums where this kind of thing is likely to be discussed?

without telling us the title of her book? I doubt that.
stripeyflowers · 04/02/2022 16:58

I've messaged you, OP.

TatianaBis · 04/02/2022 16:58

YANBU

I know quite a few writers and I read a lot of their stuff - not necessarily every book, every film/TV series - some are quite prolific - but certainly enough to know what they're all about.

JudgeJ · 04/02/2022 16:58

@AllOfUsAreDead

I'm half an half on this.

Maybe it's not the type of book they'd be interested in reading. Or they just don't read a lot anyway.

However they should be supporting you still. Maybe not buying it if they don't have the funds or wouldn't read it (although I'd buy a first edition on the off chance it became famous..) but at least coming to your signing, saying well done and congratulating you.

No reason at all that they 'should be supporting' the OP. If the OP is so keen for her friends to read her book then maybe she should circulate some of the free publisher's copies she'll have, unless they've stopped doing that! If they do read it no doubt she'll be back complaining if they are honest and say they don't like it. Friends don't try to force friends to accept their creativity.
PuppyMonkey · 04/02/2022 16:57

I don’t think you can force your friends to buy your book and read your book but I don’t blame you for being a bit Hmm that they’re not at all interested and supposedly bemused about you doing a book signing. That’s just mean.

AlternativePerspective · 04/02/2022 16:56

Actually I’m wondering if PP is right and this is essentially a stealth publicity/advertising post.

OP posted that she rote a book and when it was published, when the signing event is, it wouldn’t be hard to go and do some research to find out what book it was would it?

And she’s a first time poster. If she’s a regular mn’er she would presumably want people here to know that she, a regular mn’er, had published a book? And if she’s a first time poster then why would she join a site like this one when presumably she will be on numerous writers’ forums where this kind of thing is likely to be discussed?

SquashMinus · 04/02/2022 16:53

@MrsRussell

I feel your pain, but it's kind of awkward if they hate it...

My old manager read all mine when he was in hospital having surgery on his leg and he was a little bit shocked at how sweary and violent they were (historical fiction but I think he was expecting it to be a bit more genteel than what he got. Mate, I write about battles. I know I make you a brew when you're in my office, but in my books, you're more likely to get shot in the head.) Our relationship was always a bit wary after that - it was like he was talking to the polite administrator but he knew underneath that was the cavalry officer with a bad temper and a sword.

@MrsRussell you have to let me know what the titles of your books are, from this description they sound right up my street Grin
Justkeepon · 04/02/2022 16:52

It's been really well received, got a brilliant critical reception and I've had excellent feedback from readers.

Congratulations OP! I would just focus on the above in your position, you have so much to celebrate! Real friends would show an interest and buy your book to celebrate your amazing achievement! What comes around goes around, celebrate with your husband and well done Flowers

InisnaBro · 04/02/2022 16:52

@MmeD

My best friend wrote a memoir. I’m in it, under my real, first name. I bought it and read it. I was not impressed by how she portrayed me Hmm. I think the insults were meant to be affectionate, but still Grin.

It sounds as though your friends don’t quite get it OP, given the reaction of “oh it’s a real book…”

But look on the bright side, you can skewer them horribly in the next one and they’ll never know.

Well, in fairness, 'Oh, it's a real book' sounds as if they'd assumed previously it was self-published and not a physical object available in bookshops.
Pyri · 04/02/2022 16:51

As an aside, I wonder how interested the OP is in other people’s work. Do you take great interest in their latest contract review / presentation / kitchen they fitted? I suspect not…

Workconundrummergirl · 04/02/2022 16:51

@redbigbananafeet
I think had it been me I'd have gifted my book to my friends. I wouldn't be expecting them to pay £15 for it in Watsrstones
I can well imagine the MN thread.

Every year I spend ages picking out the most exquisite personal presents for all my friends. This year, my supposed best friend brought me HER book as part of my Xmas present. If I'd been interested in reading it, I'd have brought it myself. Aibu to think you don't give people your own book unless you're an ego maniac and friends should be free to choose their own books?

oviraptor21 · 04/02/2022 16:49

YABU.
I have a friend who writes and has published several successful novels but they're just not a subject matter or style I'm interested in. It would be a chore and I'm sure my friend wouldn't want me to feel I had some sort of duty to them.
And agreed with a PP, I don't want a work of fiction to possibly influence or alter how I perceive my friend.

r0ck · 04/02/2022 16:49

YABU (my husband has had a book published and he tells friends not to buy it for his sake, unless they're actually interested in it)

InisnaBro · 04/02/2022 16:49

@redbigbananafeet

I think had it been me I'd have gifted my book to my friends. I wouldn't be expecting them to pay £15 for it in Watsrstones
How many free author copies do you imagine you're given??? Grin
drpet49 · 04/02/2022 16:49

They sound jealous

vodkaredbullgirl · 04/02/2022 16:48

Friday night NP

Stompythedinosaur · 04/02/2022 16:47

Partner/parent/best friend - yes, I would probably expect them to show an interest.

Anyone else - you are expecting too much.

Reading a book that (though it is potentially good) may not be your usual choice, is a significant endeavour. How often have you spent over 20 hours doing something you didn't enjoy without even the motivation of social contact in order to seem supportive to a friend?

MumofHorace · 04/02/2022 16:47

@Iamuhtredsonofuhtred

YANBU I bought my friends book and left her a rave review on Amazon and was super happy for her. I haven’t actually read it
🤣
IWentAwayIStayedAway · 04/02/2022 16:47

Omg. Yanbu. Someone i kinda know has a family member who wrote a book. Not only did i buy and read it. Childrens book. I reviewed it online and recommended to others. I dont even know the author but wanted to support someone 'local'

Iamuhtredsonofuhtred · 04/02/2022 16:47

YANBU I bought my friends book and left her a rave review on Amazon and was super happy for her. I haven’t actually read it

CrinklyCraggy · 04/02/2022 16:46

I'd be really excited for any friend who had a book published, but I'm not sure I'd buy a copy. I think I might expect to be given a signed copy....and I'm not usually grabby at all.

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