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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect people I know to read my book?

464 replies

bethc765 · 04/02/2022 15:32

In October I released my first book. It's something I've been working on for a long time and something I've dreamt of since I was little.

It's been really well received, got a brilliant critical reception and I've had excellent feedback from readers.

But not a single person apart from my DH has even bought it. I was out with a friend recently and we went into Waterstones and I pointed it out and she remarked "oh i didn't realise it was a proper book and in shops and stuff".

I have a signing event coming up in March and mentioned it in passing and my friends seemed perplexed as to why anyone would want a book signed by me.

I support my friends with their endeavours so I'm a little bit hurt that nobody I know has shown the slightest bit of interest in something that was really important to me. I'm not even asking them to read it- just pretend they have!

OP posts:
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Tiredalwaystired · 12/03/2025 12:40

My sister in law writes soft porn. I have never read it as I know I will only be able to imagine her and my brother in law. Just…no.

I think this is permissible.

JHound · 12/03/2025 12:05

YABU.

Maybe I would buy a friend’s book but if it was not a topic that interested me I doubt I would read it.

RanchRat · 12/03/2025 11:09

I hate reading friend's books - having to lie about how fantastic they are, generally after a long boring skip read.

FoolishHips · 12/03/2025 11:07

If you are Bethany Clift, I'm just reading the sample of Love and Other Human Errors and it's brilliant. I don't read a lot of fiction because I become bored very easily but I love your style of writing.

notnowB · 26/11/2022 07:31

Wow, you're amazing! Congratulations on this massive achievement.
I totally understand your hurt, but try not to let it take the shine off this special time.

chikp · 26/11/2022 07:17

There's someone in my family who has published a rather heavy text book. I wouldn't understand it so I have read it

chikp · 26/11/2022 07:16

Hesma · 26/11/2022 07:10

Give them copies for Christmas!

Only do that in addition to anything else you might get them usually.

Maybe they just aren't interested in your style of writing OP.

Hesma · 26/11/2022 07:10

Give them copies for Christmas!

Dotingmumandgranny · 26/11/2022 06:33

theleafandnotthetree · 04/02/2022 15:50

@OneRingToRuleThemAll

YABU. People have their own budgets, time commitments etc. It's great you are published, but I wouldn't expect someone to buy and read your book just because they know you.
Oh for the love of God, their own budgets? We're not talking about buying a private plane the OP designed. It's a book! And as for the time commitment bit, if someone doesn't have enough time in life to buy and/or read the book of a good friend, maybe they need to rethink their quality of life. The excuses made on here for people are ludicrous. It's like we can't have any expectations of our friends other than that they not pretend they don't know us at all. Even then some would probably say 'well you don't know what was going on for them that day'. 🙄

I agree with this. I have written two books and only two members of my family have read them, despite the fact that I have sold thousands of copies. I think they still cling to the idea that self published books can't be worth reading. It does leave a bitter taste.

Sparklingbrook · 13/11/2022 14:14

ZOMBIE ALERT

HestonB · 13/11/2022 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Leighcloon · 08/02/2022 00:34

@Silvershroud

Quite few people in this thread mention they are published authors, including OP- but no links to any work at all. Fantacists?
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I come on here to be anonymous and snark about stuff, not to flog novels. I know of three other traditionally-published novelists who are on here, and one very high-profile one who used to, but said it ended up wrecking her head — and I’m sure there are loads more.
Wreath21 · 07/02/2022 21:39

@Silvershroud

Quite few people in this thread mention they are published authors, including OP- but no links to any work at all. Fantacists?
Possibly just cautious - if posters who are published authors have also spent time on here talking about their mental health issues, contentious political views or even just their post-partum haemorrhoids, they might not necessarily want their work/professional reputation to be associated with their other posts.
Letsbekindplease · 05/02/2022 17:35

It seems like you have jealous friends. I don’t read books. I wish I had the time to sit down and read. If it were any of my friends I would buy their book whether I read it or not and came to their signing. What a huge deal that is.

Shame your friends are like that. I have 1 friend that would do that. Needless to say she’s more someone who won’t delete herself from a group chat more than anything but this is something she would do.

rookiemere · 05/02/2022 17:33

Exactly @DPotter . I'm good at my job and earn a decent living from it, but it's pretty boring even to me so I don't assume people want to hear about it, or indeed chip in for my salary. I would expect general congratulations if I got a promotion or mentioned a special achievement, but no more than that.

There's a huge difference between being supportive which to me is saying the right thing and being happy for someone else's success and feeling obliged to buy a book or whatever the person's business happens to be.

Aspidistra1 · 05/02/2022 17:19

YANBU. My friend has written a local history book. I haven’t read it but I absolutely bought it, went to the signing and got a selfie! And I have had a look at the pictures!
I’m proud of him and it’s important to him so why wouldn’t I?!

Well done OP. How exciting for your book to be in Waterstones!

WalkingOnTheCracks · 05/02/2022 16:57

@Silvershroud

Quite few people in this thread mention they are published authors, including OP- but no links to any work at all. Fantacists?
It'd kinda blow the cherished anonymity of MN to link to one's book, wouldn't it?

And, just to give support to my claim of being a writer, that's 'fantasists'.

Juniper68 · 05/02/2022 16:52

@Silvershroud

Quite few people in this thread mention they are published authors, including OP- but no links to any work at all. Fantacists?
No but would be pretty outing.
DPotter · 05/02/2022 16:32

Congratulations on being published!

I'm a creative and very very few of my family or friends pay any attention to my work. At first this was upsetting as I feel so passionately about my work that I thought family and friends would be equally interested. But they're not. They don't totally ignore it -they ask in very general terms how things are, but that's it.

I take the approach now that they wouldn't be interested in my work if I had an office job (and when I did have an office based job, they weren't interested). The friends I have made as part of my work do share in my passion and take interest in what I do - that's where I get my support.

stuntbubbles · 05/02/2022 16:23

@Silvershroud

Quite few people in this thread mention they are published authors, including OP- but no links to any work at all. Fantacists?
Why would we want our names and work matched up with our Mumsnet usernames? I chat all kinds of stuff on here on the basis that it’s anonymous. Link to my books is about as outing as it gets. Could change my username but not especially interested in linking my writing work to my use of Mumsnet: separation of church and state and all that.
Itsalmostanaccessory · 05/02/2022 16:19

@Silvershroud

Self promotion is not allowed in mumsent. We would be deleted and maybe banned by MNHQ.

Silvershroud · 05/02/2022 16:14

Quite few people in this thread mention they are published authors, including OP- but no links to any work at all. Fantacists?

Clawdy · 05/02/2022 16:03

I would certainly buy a book written by a close friend, but I guess it depends if you're a keen reader. My sister has had several novels published, and two were longlisted for the Booker Prize. I obviously read them all, as did DH, but two of my grownup kids have never read any of them. That did surprise me.

Wreath21 · 05/02/2022 15:39

OK, lots of bookshops (including branches of Waterstones) will happily allow a local author to come in and sign books. If the shop manager is savvy, they will often try to invite two or three authors at the same time and make a little event of it (though this can often be a headache for the shop if one author is a drama llama and another prone to jealousy...)
But the other Big Thing these days, especially for indie and self-published authors, is the Signing Event, which usually takes place in a hotel ballroom or other tourist attraction and involves multiple authors selling their own work. I have done a few of these, some are great and some are bloody awful. It may well be that this is what OP means.

Those of you who actually like reading and don't despise authors might like to toddle along to one such signing.

DrManhattan · 05/02/2022 14:31

Do you get free books when you self publish?
That can't be right as if you are paying for your work to be published you would be paying for those 'free' copies too