Worried about my toddlers eating, desperate for advice

He sounds like my DS at that age. It's incredibly stressful and I hated meal times. I watched other toddlers his age eating everything and I felt so jealous of their parents . I think he ate yogurt, crumpets, toast, fruit, cucumber and those baby carrot stix things. Wouldn't touch chicken nuggets àt that point. He's 10 now and is still picky and has a more limited diet than I would like. But he does eat different food now!

Looking back I wish I'd been more relaxed about it... it is worrying but I do think some kids are more prone to restricting their food either due to wanting some control or because of texture / sensitivity. His sister eats pretty much anything. And will happily try most new foods. But he refuses and kind of has ' safe' food. Though he is becoming a little braver, v slowly!

I started just focusing on making meal times relaxed. I would offer food, including some of his safe foods, then he can choose whether to eat or not. And still give dessert like fruit or yogurt even if they don't eat much or any of the main. Just trying to focus on meal times being enjoyable helped me.

Also, it's not your fault. I blamed myself and sometimes felt judged by other parents, and still do on occasion. But my DS's personality is more cautious and he has sensitivity to other textures and loves routine.

Look up SR Nutrition on Instagram or she also has a blog - she talks a lot about fussy eating and does live sessions about it too. Solid starts is another good account that talks about this.

Everything I’ve read suggests giving a safe food (whichever of the things he does have that you think he’s most likely to eat) alongside the other foods you’re eating as a family. Let him see you eating and enjoying the food but don’t comment on his eating, no pressure, no praise, no urging just one more bite etc. Put the food down with a ‘here you go’ and take the plate away again at the end of the meal with no comment whether he’s eaten the lot or not touched it at all. Stick to a fairly regular meal and snack timetable so you know he always has another opportunity to eat coming soon. Try to get him involved in shopping/ cooking/ playing with/becoming familiar with food as much as possible. Give him a decent multivitamin and try not to worry too much (impossible I know!). I think this is a really really common part of toddlerhood and for most children it does pass eventually, obviously if there’s other issues at play then it might be more complex but it could also just be a toddler thing.

What are the autism markers?

My son is 3 and autistic. He has a restricted diet and we are always trying to introduce other items but he has very specific interests!

I love deletease post. Two year olds are tyrants. He is controlling you like most two year olds try to control adults around them. There is some good advice on the posts. He needs to feel he is choosing and you aren't bothered either way

My 3 year old went through an awful picky eating stage, was losing weight, even the health visitors and gp were a bit worried… then all of a sudden she just started eating again! She goes to preschool now and honestly I think that’s helped a lot, the routine and surrounded by other children eating. But honestly I have no idea what changed, but I’m so glad it did, it was going on 6 months and we were doing investigations with the gp and referrals to the hospital and I was so worried. Now she eats constantly and I can really see the difference! I hope your LO also decides to stop of his own accord to, I understand how worrying it is!

The one piece of advise I would give is let him eat whatever he wants, as long as he’s eating and healthy you’re doing well I promise, my daughter ate pretty much nothing but cereal and yogurts for those six months and today she ate cottage pie!

Are there other reasons as to why they are being referred for autism assessment? As 2 is very young for this!

I would always offer 2 safe foods and 1 new food and try not to stress

Look up the Gentle eating book by Sarah ockwell Smith

Before anyone pounces I'm fully aware there may be issues with textures etc but I think we should assume our kids are the norm. I read a response on Mumsnet recently from a mum who worried about her little boy who had a very restricted diet (through refusal). He's now 6 ft teenager and recent tests show he's perfectly healthy.

I'm sure I'll be jumped on for this, but in 1979 when my two year old wouldn't eat anything but biscuits my gp said let her have them - she'll get bored and start eating other things. In this instance he was right - I stopped worrying about it, put biscuits in front of her and gave my other daughter real food. Less than a week and she started eating a normal diet. (He was also the GP who told me it was fine to just say no to my toddler). Don't sweat the small stuff, give what they'll eat without fuss but make what you're eating more interesting.

@Cryingintomypillow Good luck!

Both of mine went through a long, picky stage around 2. Both times I worried myself sick, both times it just stopped, if it’s own accord.

I’m pretty sure it’s quite common.

How old is he? My two year old has just started getting really really picky after being a previously good eater (I was worried he was eating too much before I even have a thread about it on here!)