If you lose weight do you want people to comment on your weight loss?

... further to my previous comment, that's why I wouldn't comment on anyone's weight unless they mention it or you already know that's their aim.

If I know someone is trying to lose weight, of course I say something. It's almost rude not too. I know when I'm dieting and someone notices, it feels great. If you go on one of the diet threads on here, posters say they've lost weight, and they don't get ignored, they're congratulated. As far as I know no one was upset or burst into tears for being congratulated but I suppose it's possible. Equally if people ignore people who have lost weight, you might upset or make them cry too.

I've lost 15lbs so far. If anyone would like too gush over me, I'm here for it.

I hate comments about my appearance at all times. The 'oh you're looking amazing ' translates to me as 'you looked a pile of shite before but we didn't say anything.' All comments, good and bad mean your appearance is being judged by someone. It's an uncomfortable concept. It also makes you feel obliged to talk about it when you don't necessarily wish to.

I think most people do want people to comment as it confirms to them that they are losing enough for people to notice. Other people don’t want people to comment on their bodies, so it’s tricky. I don’t want people to comment as people always say I’m too thin and don’t need to lose weight, but I carry all my weight on my stomach and the only way to get that down is to lose weight

So her friends lied to her @Newrunner29, that’s a very good reason not to comment. Mine didn’t, I was fat as a fat thing and I needed to lose weight and the compliments helped.

I don’t particularly like it being commented on… especially people who go over the top about how amazing I look. As what I hear is how shit they must have thought I looked before!
It also rings in my ears when I (inevitably) regain weight as I think if they noticed when I lost it they must be noticing me gaining it and thinking how terrible I look.

But I appreciate I don’t have a great relationship with food and weight and self image…. 😆

I think it depends if they are vocal about it and how close your relationship was. If it's someone who is constantly talking about losing and things associated with it then they will expect a comment when you notice. If it was someone who doesn't mention it but visually drops a few stone, I would only mention it if I knew them well enough.

It depends. Generally it's ok, although it is odd that people's size conveys so much social currency However.

I've lost a lot of weight over the last 18 months and when a colleague saw me for the first time she said 'wow! You're half the size!' Which made me feel really, really awful.

I am not generally over-sensitive about things like that, and am losing weight for health reasons, not vanity. It was very upsetting.

I like it.

Hell yes! I lost a shedload a few years ago and the comments when it became obvious really spurred me on to keep going. Every time someone commented it put a smile on my face.

Mixed experience here. I liked the no-fuss compliments (ie "you look great, how did you do it" and there were some funny experiences, like extended family genuinely not recognising me at a wedding.

But on the flip side, losing a lot of weight and getting fit can bring out the worst in other people. I had people who I think were jealous telling me I looked "gaunt" etc (I didn't). I think people were used to seeing me fat, so me being thin unnerved them.

I think if you know that someone’s actively trying to lose weight it’s nice to give them a little encouragement on the way by mentioning that you can see a difference, but if not I probably wouldn’t mention it.

'You look great' is the only thing I ever say about someone's appearance. And that's whether they appear to have lost weight or not. It's a nice compliment I think anyone would want to hear and covers all bases!

I hate people commenting on my weight - it's way too personal and makes me feel like they're scrutinising my size. (And I'm a completely normal size) I can't imagine how it would make someone feel who did actually have issues about their weight!

My sil tried very hard to lose quite a lot of weight after having kids and when I saw her after lockdown she looked incredible and I told her so.

Likewise I've recently changed shape a bit through workouts and I'll not lie I love the compliments. I'm a confident person but the little ego boosts brighten my day a little

Probably wouldn't comment on people at work though

I agree that you shouldn't comment on people's bodies. A lot of peoples weight yo-yos, so it can be hard for them to hear loads of "wow you look great" when they lose weight.

No, I think it's rude and short-sighted if you don't know the person very well. I would never say it, unless it was a close friend or my mum and they'd been telling me how they'd been on a diet.

As to random acquaintances saying it, for all anyone knows you could have been seriously ill and that's why you've lost weight.

I probably wouldn’t unless I knew the person and their circumstances well enough to be assured I wasn’t complimenting illness or any kind of unwanted/in intentional change in weight.

It’s a good idea not to make personal comments to a work friend. I definitely don’t like people commenting on my weight loss especially not at work.

I try to avoid commenting on anyone else's body size unless it's professionally relevant and have a special horrified look for anyone who does it to me.

I have mixed feelings about this: the only time anyone - family or friends - has ever complimented me is when I've been underweight.

I've slimmed to (only just) underweight many times over the years because I want to look "good," but when I get there, and people squeal "Oh my god you look great! So skinny!" (and those are always the words) I feel horrible inside because I shouldn't HAVE to look skinny to look good.

I feel horrible because people equate skinny with good. I feel horrible because people notice my weight. I feel horrible because when my weight goes above 120lb the compliments always stop because people have noticed and decided I'm too big for compliments at just 120lb and it's all just a bit fucked up, really.

I tell people they look really well, or really happy, or really stylish, or that they're glowing. I avoid mentioning weight or size altogether: I think health and strength are better goals.

I don't like comments about my weight at all, so I don't make those comments to other people either.

I am overweight. I'd love to lose weight, but even if I ever manage it, I don't really want commentary from other people, well meaning though some of it may well be. It is a sensitive subject for me.

What gwenneh said.

Not, it irritates me.
I lost a bit of weight and I was fucking irritated with all the "there's nothing left of you", "you're wasting away" comments I got. I'd much prefer people kept it to themselves.

I'd say to your friend you make a conscious decision not to comment on people's weight or appearance.