If you lose weight do you want people to comment on your weight loss?

I recently lost quite a bit of weight. Definitely noticable and I have been happy when people commented but I've not really cared if people didn't comment. Some people are afraid to comment, they thought I was ill. Not everyone "sees" things the same way either. One of my better friends said she never saw me as heavy previously, she just saw me as me and I'm still me. I thought it was a great reply tbh.

I will comment if it's clear the person is happy/proud about their weight loss and if they've been trying to do so, and it's a healthy weight loss.

I won't comment if I'm not sure they've been trying to lose weight, or if they have been trying to lose too much etc - that's encouraging ED habits.

But if someone has made positive steps to improve their health I'll absolutely mention it. It's not easy!

RampantIvy

Only on MN do I see people being offended by being complimented on their appearance.“

Saw a friend in our hometown a few years ago, hadn’t seen her for some years. “My good, you’re so thin” was her greeting.

Further on in the conversation, I mentioned my recent cancer treatment and the poor woman looked like she was waiting for the pavement to open up and swallow her.

Didn’t bother me, actually, made me laugh and I told her not to be daft. Not everyone would take it as a ”compliment”, though.

Be yourself and if you don't normally comment on these things don't. This is her issue not yours.

If she raises it simply say you did notice and she is looking great. If she pushes, just say you don't like make unsolicited comments on peoples weight.

Don't comment on colleagues or acquaintances weight loss, as you say it could be for unhappy reasons.

It's nice if close friends say "you look well / fit etc." but I don't need or seek it out.

Only on MN do I see people being offended by being complimented on their appearance.

No, unless you’re certain someone has deliberately lost weight and likes it to be acknowledged.

I lost 3st last year, I don't want people I don't know well to comment. I especially don't want gushing comments or anyone commenting loudly. I don't want questions about how much I've lost or how I have done it.

At work I don't like comments, although I lost over lockdown and expected some the first time I saw them, I prepared myself and it was all over quite quickly, thank goodness. The only comment I hated was from a woman I barely know "don't lose anymore, you'll have no tits left", said very loudly in the canteen queue.cue everyone staring at my aforementioned tits.

I lost a stone last year which is more than 10% of my weight. So while I wasn’t fat before it was a noticeable amount ( of lockdown) weight.

Not one single person noticed or commented which felt a bit sad since losing that stone was pretty bloody hard work.

I would be delighted if someone noticed! Would spur me on to keep going. The fact is, I DO look better when I lose weight and I know that.
If I was to notice someone had worked hard with weight loss and lost weight I would tell them they looked great without mentioning weight.

Personally, I would prefer you to pretend that you have never noticed my weight, whether it has gone up, down or stayed the same. It is my personal business and I have no wish to discuss it with anyone.

If you think I have lost weight and I'm looking good for it, please just tell me that I look well! It is so much less intrusive!

I've lost 4 stone in the past year primarily for health reasons rather than appearance. Ive had quite a lot of comments - all welcome from colleagues / friends who know it's due to fitness rather than illness. I get quite a bit of "have you changed your hair?" or "you look great"

I guess it depends a little on the person, but I think I'd be a bit disappointed if no one commented!

If you see someone frequently it is sometimes more difficult to spot gradual weight loss. When I took up rowing and dropped about 12kg over several months the only people who noticed were friends I see a few times a year. I guess it was nice to be noticed but I was not seeking or expecting compliments.

If I knew someone was working hard to lose weight and I could see it was working, I would say so. Otherwise, absolutely not. You don’t know why someone has lost weight. My friend kept getting comments about how good she looked when she lost three stone. She has terminal cancer.

I do think it’s rude to mention someone’s weight unless it is someone close in which case I have said - you look well, or your the picture of health or something.

Yes, I love it

*now

No. I once lost a load of weight and a colleague said “wow you look amazing, you used to be massive.” I’ve since put it all back on again so am not presumably massive again.

It’s incredibly rude to voice opinion on other people’s bodies, unless invited to do so.

But the op said A friend from work used to get upset that i hadnt commented on her weight loss

This wasn't a random person that she didn't know. Or someone that had liver failure. Or someone mourning the death of their mother. This was a friend who had made an effort to lose weight and who wanted to be given a pat on the back. Isn't that what friends do, encourage and give praise? Although maybe not mumsnet friends.

YANBU. I think it's a bit of a minefield. If someone said they had been trying to lose weight I might say they're looking well but I doubt I'd say it to anyone unprompted.

If they've lost weight and look well/happy then you can say something. If they've lost weight and look miserable, there's a strong possibility either they're ill, or a loved one is ill and they're really stressed and unhappy.

Also, you need to have some sort of relationship. If you'd have a chat at the coffee machine, fine. If you've never spoken to the other person before - especially if you're not the same gender - probably creepy rather than nice.

Yew.

When I lost weight I had colleagues and friends tell me I liked great. I could have sat alone in an empty room for a decade and it wouldn't have occurred to me to think it was a back handed way of saying I looked shite before, they were people I knew well and some if whom were good friends, they were being supportive.

Having said that I don't comment on anyone weight loss because as illustrated here it's a very sensitive subject!