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Original poster

How long does javelin arse last?

216 replies

TiffanyAchingsHatFullofSky · 29/01/2022 22:20

It happened to me last week for the first time in ages. It lasted about 5-6 seconds.

I was just wondering whether, when we describe javelin arse, are we all experiencing the same thing?

Does it only last a few seconds for others as well?

OP posts:
JeffThePilot · 30/01/2022 00:59

About 5 seconds but now that I think about it, I’ve not had a bout for a while …

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 30/01/2022 00:51

Best thing about menopause is l no longer suffer with this!

Magnalux · 30/01/2022 00:40

Yip around the time of my period.. 5 seconds of agony every now and then.. makes me gasp out loud every time! Going on as long as I can remember .. over 20 yrs anyway! Im actually relieved that it’s not just me!!

SisterAgatha · 30/01/2022 00:30

When I’m on my period. Maybe 4 jabs max of about 3 seconds long.

HalfCakeHalfBiscuit · 30/01/2022 00:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Hairyfriend · 30/01/2022 00:25

@Livelovebehappy

I have never, ever heard of this, nor have I experienced it! I feel blessed.....
Me neither! Either I'm a genetic mutant or all the rest of you are? Confused
Orangeon · 30/01/2022 00:25

@ProudThrilledHappy

Oh up to 10-15 seconds for me. I’m sure I’ve watched a video from a doctor explaining this before, something to do with hormones in the menstrual cycle affecting the bowels but I cannot for the life of me find it now.
Yes - the hormones ‘leak’ into the surrounding areas from around your uterus and cause contractions in the intestine/bowel. The GP explained it to me once. The leaky hormones are also why you get the period shits - the contractions make the waste go through your system more quickly.
RightOnTheEdge · 30/01/2022 00:23

This thread has made me realise that I haven't had javelin arse for ages.
It usually lasts a few seconds for me but feels longer! Its awful, it makes me freeze and not be able to breathe but trying to hide it if other people are there.
I've never had javelin fanny thank goodness! Shock

Lessofallthisunpleasantness · 30/01/2022 00:22

Blimey! Never heard of this…… also never felt this…. I am nearly 50!’

Orangeon · 30/01/2022 00:22

@TiffanyAchingsHatFullofSky

It happened to me last week for the first time in ages. It lasted about 5-6 seconds.

I was just wondering whether, when we describe javelin arse, are we all experiencing the same thing?

Does it only last a few seconds for others as well?

Once, for a few seconds, every four weeks!
SusannaQueen · 30/01/2022 00:18

Interesting that men get it too. I always thought it was a hormonal thing and I haven't actually had it since I started getting perimenopausal.

MrsAvocet · 30/01/2022 00:18

@Mushrooms0up

Yes for Meir day 10 seconds max but I can’t Move and feel like I’m about to die.

Out of interest,For those that have had kids,
How do contractions compare?

I think it's worse than contractions. Some of it is psychological I suppose - you know labour pains have a point to them as opposed to JA which is just some kind of satanic torture, but also because of the nature of the pain. For me at least, contractions built up fairly slowly, reached a peak and faded away whereas JA just comes out of nowhere. One minute your fine, next in complete agony so there's no warning or preparation for it. Plus people are sympathetic when you are in labour and you are "allowed" to show that you're in pain. Nobody wants to tell the world they're in the middle of a JA attack!
Livelovebehappy · 30/01/2022 00:17

I have never, ever heard of this, nor have I experienced it! I feel blessed.....

Chocaholic9 · 30/01/2022 00:11

I used to get javelin arse on a regular basis. It was an awful pain that lasted maybe 5 seconds and made me scream.

I switched to a high fibre diet about 4 months ago to help treat an illness I have (40-45g of fibre per day) and it's stopped. I haven't had it since so I think mine was related to my bowel movements.

ABitOfAShitShow · 30/01/2022 00:10

@WonderfulYou

I’ve never even heard of this or stabby vaginas. I wonder if it’s genetic as no one in my family gets these either, that I know of.
Show off.
MichelleScarn · 30/01/2022 00:09

Ah @WonderfulYou I hope life continues as such for you all, its not fun!

DramaAlpaca · 30/01/2022 00:09

I've only ever heard about this horrible sounding thing on here, never otherwise in all my 57 years.

I've never experienced it either, and am mightily relieved about that.

WonderfulYou · 30/01/2022 00:08

I’ve never even heard of this or stabby vaginas.
I wonder if it’s genetic as no one in my family gets these either, that I know of.

bigyellowTpot · 30/01/2022 00:06

And this thread is brilliant and needs to go in classics I've actually been crying laughing at some of these posts after having a shit start to my day it's really cheered me up thanks OP for starting it. Now let's hope I don't get woken up by javelin arse tonight!

Mushrooms0up · 30/01/2022 00:05

Yes for Meir day 10 seconds max but I can’t Move and feel like I’m about to die.

Out of interest,For those that have had kids,
How do contractions compare?

FrecklesMalone · 30/01/2022 00:04

@Benjispruce5

Oh *@FrecklesMalone* that must’ve been awful. If I’d have been in the meeting I’d have understood javelin arse and helped you sit while I fanned you.Grin
I would have then thanked you forever!
ABitOfAShitShow · 30/01/2022 00:03

Fanny daggers! 😂😂😂

I also sometimes get this! (And occasionally pain to the side of it.)

What a life.

Surelyitscoffeetime · 30/01/2022 00:01

Spiky arse in my family.

FailureToLurk · 29/01/2022 23:58

@namechanged221

Fanny daggers... classic

What's it called when you get both at once?

A cluster fuck...🤷🏻‍♀️
bigyellowTpot · 29/01/2022 23:56

I've been woken up in the night by javelin arse, it feels like shooting contraction type pains right up the backside I've actually thought I was shitting myself but it was just the contractions. it actually reminds me of being in labour I've had it that bad. almost passed out with it once. I had it for the first time when I was about 40 and I wondered what the hell was going on thought my arse was falling out.
Not a nice pain to have at all. my boughts usually last about 20 mins I just breath through it like being In labour lol.

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