To quit a 50k a year job to retrain as a childminder?

@secular39 Yes but I do have to set aside some for tax. Could go part time and probably drop a couple of days once the current children go off to school.

Also I only take up to school age and i'm in London which makes a difference.

Can your partner reduce his hours to stay with the baby? That would reduce the time she is at nursery and would cheaper until you decide what you'll like to do.

Wait. Are you making roughly 4 grand a month? Wow. That's a lot of money.... can you at least go part time?

I thought about this too, OP, as my priorities totally changed after I had kids and I'd love to have just been at home with them when they were little.

The best thing would be to try to find another job which enables you to spend more time with them. After I had two kids and went back from mat leave the second time, I threw myself into work but after a year, was totally burned out and pretty much had a nervous breakdown. Ended up working for myself for two or three years doing something totally different to my previous job then eventually got back into my previous career but in a different way.

Being a childminder may not be the answer but have a look into it and the pros and cons. I know several childminders locally who made a success of it and did it for many years. It isn't wrong to evaluate your job, career and priorities though. Women are expected to just drop children off at nursery and get on with things, and many cannot just carry on with work as if nothing had happened!

I did exactly this. I was at high level in marketing, I never went back after maternity leave and became a childminder.

I am now 14 years in. My children have grown up with the other children, I was very choosy about the parents I took on, no one has ever taken the piss and I'm still friends with most of them.

I am full 5 days a week and have a waiting list for the next 18 months. The last 4 years my tax return has been around £48,000.

For me it's been an incredible way to make money and be with my kids as they grow up.

However, mine are now teenagers, I am starting to resent still having toys/high chairs/ travel cots etc about. The biggest thing though is that I am thoroughly trapped as I have been out of the office so long that I can't get back in at the level I was on - therefore I can't get my current salary anywhere else and I'm not ready to earn less. And don't like the thought of answering to a boss when I've been accountable only to myself for so long.

So swings and roundabouts and worth looking at the long game.

I too think it's hormones talking. You would be very foolish, for a good salary in a job you like.

But I can say this because I never felt like you do. To me it often feels like some mumsnetters are obsessed with their children, infatuated with their children, in love with their children, live vicariously through their children. I never felt that way at all. I do love my children, they're older now and I loved them when they were babies, but I worked part time throughout, was happy that someone was looking after them doing mud play and Play-Doh etc, and I enjoyed my part-time job and the part-time times that I was at home with the children. and then they went to school. and then I took on a few more hours and now they're finishing school and I'm working a bit more and although I've enjoyed my children a lot I have never quite felt the way that many mumsnetters seem to.

Things will settle, OP. I felt the same way as you and at first; I was coming up with all sorts of ideas to try and jack in my job, but none of those things were passions and would have been disastrous in the long term. It takes a while to get used to being apart, but I'm so glad I toughed it out.

I think honestly, you have to look at the long term here. As many have pointed out in the thread, what does life look like in 3, 5, 10 years from now.

Your baby is only 9 months old. I don’t mean this condescendingly but you have not experienced the banality of life every single day with very young children. For some, every single day is joyous. For others, it’s hell on earth. For a large portion of parents, it’s fine most days but there’s a sense of every day being the same - park, toddler group, lunch, activities at home. Day in, day out of the same is hard. It’s not terrible but it can get to you.

Add in other people’s children - you’ve no idea if you even like being around children. You can objectively like lots of children, but being with them all day, every day, is not the same as imagining an idyllic scene of toddlers gambolling across a park and splashing in puddles. There are lots of moments of joy; there are also lots of moment of low level boredom and frustration with dealing with the millionth problem or tantrum.

I have three and my youngest is 4. When I had my first, I felt very similar to you. I even came close to doing it and arranging to look after the child of a woman in my NCT class. We both had visions of idyllic days spent with me looking after her daughter whilst she went back to work. It would have been a terrible idea. I found the drudgery of days with my own toddler not always easy to deal with. I made a lot of mum friends who kept me sane because I was bored and frustrated but loved being my children. I did actually end up quitting my corporate role but kept my hand in by freelancing, because I was terrified of becoming unemployable. Now my youngest has been through pre school and is now in Reception, I have a very highly paying, highly rewarding role in my career again.

I’m not saying everyone finds the long days with children hard. Some wonderful people love each and every day. I adore my children and day to day it was ok but long term, I struggled. Emotionally and mentally. I am not saying you will struggle or won’t - the point is, you don’t know. Life with toddlers and young children is hard work. You’ve no idea if you even LIKE being around young children. You wanted to be a teacher but again - you’ve not experienced it to know what it’s like.

I would probably wait until your own child is coming up to 2 years before making a decision like this, just so you have some experience of life with young children. Then make the decision because of what you WANT, not what you don’t want.

I wouldn't expect any role to be "fulfilled on a part time basis" unless you are currently underemployed.
I would expect some of your role to be done by another person. Obviously, without knowing what your job is, that might be looking at various part of your role being done by someone else (say more of an administrative role) or if your role is client based or project based or caseload based, then another person being paid to do the 1/5 of that caseload you are no longer being paid to do.

It seems like the sensible compromise is to reduce hours in my current job. I plan to submit a request to my manager for reduced hours (4 days a week). Hopefully he will consider this! I think my workload could be managed on 4 days a week if I was sensible with planning etc.

I can't understand why ANY employee would suggest doing the same work they are being paid £50K for, for £40K. I mean, why would anyone suggest that to their employers. Bizarre.

If you are proposing dropping to 4 days, then your work would also drop by 1/5th, in line with your pay and the number of hours you work.

You're talking about taking I'm guessing about a 50 % pay cut. Let me come at it from the opposite angle, our household income has doubled from 25k to 50k and the difference in our standard of living and stress levels is massive. Can you manage that huge change in a negative direction ?

I’ve read a few threads started by step parents who said they found their step children very difficult to be around once they’ve had their own child.

I’m not saying this would happen for you but it’s worth taking into consideration - you’re not going to have the same relationship as you would if you were on maternity leave as you’ll have other children to care for. These children would also be in your child’s home, playing with their toys and mummy.
Some of these children might be quite difficult and break toys etc.

Is your current role something that you could get back into if you tried childminding and didn’t like it?

I definitely wouldn't. I hated leaving my DS when he was 1 and i went back although did go 3 days a week but in 2 years she will be in school nursery. I'm so glad i went back as still have my job, pension, sick pay, paid holidays etc and back full time. It's unbearable leaving a baby but toddlers are hard work, it's brutal and it's nice to have a break, have adult company etc.

Also do you love playing in the park and being outside etc? My child like many others never liked arts and crafts and needs physical stuff more.

Alot goes into childminding and you may have to adapt to their nursery drop offs, school drop offs, nappies, naps feeds and you can onl have a certain amount of children at one point so worth checking earning potential etc. I honestly wouldn't or give it at least 4 to 6 months in your job before deciding.

Me too. I went to see a CM, on time and their child came in and said my child was touching their ps4, to which the mum replied, "ok, put it away". I realised in their home my child would be a second class citizen.

Another ridiculous comment from a short one off observation! My own children had toys they didn't want to share in their rooms, minded children were not allowed in my sons bedrooms. Anything they left out was for use by everyone. No-one was 'second class' because some toys weren't available to them.

It's not a reasonable assumption though. That's why. It's a totally unreasonable one.