To quit a 50k a year job to retrain as a childminder?

If you enjoy your job stick with it

Go for it if you’re aware of all the pitfalls.

Our childminder is often closed as her child is unwell. It must be stressful for her, and it is for us too. Kids catch everything when they’re in childcare- unwell every month. But that’s something you’ll deal with in returning to work anyway.

@careerchangemaybe
OP I think it’s just that your message seems to be equating being maternal with completely altering (wrecking) your career. Which many women just aren’t prepared to do especially when earning 50 grand in a job they actually like! Some women actually actively want to get back to their work outside of the home and this doesn’t make them any less ‘maternal’ or any less of a good mother

I live somewhere maternity leave is shorter and it is quite normal for babies to go to daycare or a childminder 5 days a week from 3 or 4 months old. Being a SAHM is not common unless you are a foreigner (in which case not working probably has a lot to do with not speaking the local language or having transferrable qualifications).

I initially felt very unhappy about the prospect of a short maternity leave (and I still think 4 months is too short and luckily I was able to extend it to 7 with holiday and some unpaid leave).

The babies are not traumatised and neither are the parents. Childminders actually tend to say the settling in period is much easier when the baby is only 3 months old because after 6 months they start to get separation anxiety. My son started with her when he was 8 months old and within a few days it was all fine.

At the end of the day, your baby won't remember whether you took a long maternity leave or not. My mum went back to work part time when I was 5 and my brother was 3, and I have very few memories of before that age. I have a couple of vague memories of nursery school, and I remember one day when I was in reception my mum forgot to pick me up from school because she was busy doing a puzzle with my brother at home. I have much clearer memories of being 8 or 9 years old and always being the last to be picked up from school because my mum (who was a teacher) thought she had time to finish her job at a school on the other side of town and come and pick us up (even if she had jumped in her car within 30 seconds of the bell going it would have been tricky, and she is a faffer).

The point is, children aren't traumatised by going to nursery school or a childminder, or going to after school clubs or being picked up from school by a childminder. Long maternity leaves and staying at home with the kids are, I think, more for the mother than they are for the child, who will be fine either way.

I felt like you almost a year ago op, when I put my baby into nursery at 8.5m (two days pw) before returning to work at 10m. I had never visited it inside due to covid. I had to learn to express. She would cry dreadfully with relief at pickup time. I thought it would be like this forever and wanted to chuck in my job too.

But now she loves nursery and she's learnt so much there and I'm getting used to expressing. You know what, I would agree with PP that I was being a bit wet.

You will look back on this rude and sanctimonious comment below, in a year's time, and cringe with shame. I haven't lost all sympathy with you, I still sympathise with you, but oh my, you are very wrong.

I've chosen to ignore a couple of previous posters who used terms like "ridiculous" or "a bit wet" to describe my yearning for my baby when I'm at work. I can only assume those posters are not strongly maternal like I am. 🤷‍♀️

It is very normal to find it hard leaving babies. I know there are people who skip off and can’t wait to get back to work but most of my friends found it incredibly hard.

Long-term it makes much more sense to go part time in your current job than try and set up a business that is much lower earning and wouldn’t necessarily give to you the quality time with your baby you’re yearning for.

Another factor to consider is if you want a second. Don’t underestimate the value of maternity pay, pension payments etc. if you were a childminder, you’d likely have to let down your families when you had the second as your ratios would be affected, question as to whether you could provide effective care heavily pregnant/with a newborn etc.

@HaveringWavering OP did actually say she was requesting "reduced hours" not "compressed hours". "Reduced hours" to me suggests reduced pay and doing fewer hours of work, not changing the hours or days but working the same number of hours.

Yes, PT is the way to go (and becoming a child minder, downsizing the house etc would be pure insanity)!

nokidshere
And the 1-2 days away from your baby will be good for them in terms of healthy separation - otherwise you will be building a rod for your own back because when your child gets to 4 and has to be prised away from due to severe anxiety at having to attend nursery/school alone, that will be even more heart breaking…

What an absolute load of tosh
I'd love to see evidence for this?

@pompomseverywhere do you mean for the original statement I quoted or my comment saying it's tosh?

Don't forget, being self-employed you will be responsible for your own pension.

I have a childcare background and, even though I didn't have a salary to give up as I wasn't working after I had my first, there is no way I would be a childminder. It is an incredible amount of work, and the disruption to my own children now they are older and entering school would be too much. It would limit their options for extracurricular activities and play dates etc if I was responsible for other children during that time. I was hell bent on being home with my children whilst they were young, and while I'm not sure I'd do things differently if I had my time again, I do feel I wish I'd kept my options open more.

Children, I am finding, seem to actually need more from you (granted in very different ways than when they are young) as they get older. In your position I would give it a few months and keep accessing how you feel, then as they grow you'll have the option to scale back hours so you could potentially have more time with them a few days a week after school, without having to care for other children also.

It also depends on your house. My home is my sanctuary and I feel very stressed if my home is chaotic. If you have a big enough space for a 'work' playroom, spare bedroom for children a naps etc then that's one thing, but don't underestimate how intrusive it could feel to your home. Your partner (assuming you have one) would need to be completely on board.

You can be a childminder for a few years, and then come back to your previous career. Yes, you might have to come back at a lower level, but you'll catch up later.

I did similar to this gave up a very well paid job to retrain as a primary teacher as I wanted to watch my babies grow up. It worked really well for us, but my husband was always the main breadwinner. Now, as mine are in secondary school I am beginning to have major regrets - I never really wanted to be a teacher and whilst I am good at it, I find it boring and unfulfilling and long to be back in my well paid, well respected office job, but I have to take a few steps back again to get there and not sure if I fancy starting again in mid forties. Being a woman with ambition who also wants to be a good mum is shit…

We both did this. I worked three days a week, he worked 2 long days so we had the babies covered between us (we have 3). Worked really well but I also worked from home during that time so was always about.

Cost a lot in reduced earnings but was definitely worth it and we made it through with a few debts we are addressing now.

@careerchangemaybe. I hope your boss agrees to your reduced hours.but if in reality this means same job just less time to achieve it, that needs to be reflected in your salary, not 80% pay for 100% of your job!

Could you look to switch employers? Look for a job that's advertised as part time or do some freelance work?

You don't want to be a childminder, you want to be with your daughter. It's not the same thing, but I won't go over that again as there are a million posts already on that!

I totally understand how you feel about not wanting to work to pay someone else to look after your Dd. But childminding isn't the solution. Part time/freelancing/a year off, look at those types of options.

Also look at freeing up your home time, cleaner is the obvious one, but also not agreeing to do things you don't want to do, focus on what you want to do with your DD

Can you reduce your hours down OP or take a lower position and go part time?

I mean the salary difference would be vast for a start!

I think posters are telling you not to do it because looking after your own child is far different to doing so whilst becoming a CM... what happens if you want baby no2?

Being a childminder is hard work for not much money and you'll feel guilty for having to divide your attention. Try to go part time instead then you can get some time to recharge away from your kid and pay them full attention when you get home, while still earning decent money