Partner unhappy with botox & more

I've just said the same thing to my husband last week. For my 40th I fancy having my teeth whitened and maybe a little botox, to starve off the wrinkles. He said "You don't need it, but it's up to you." I wouldn't be happy if he said I couldn't, as I view that to be controlling behaviour. I think you should treat yourself, why not, life's too short. You could go with your sister foe the day, and get them done together. Don't tell her.

Can’t really blame her.
Someone so insecure about aging is unattractive in itself.
I don’t she is wrong, of course she can’t tell you what to do/not to do, but she is allowed to have feelings and thoughts about.
And also say it out loud to you.

I went through a phase of wanting lip fillers. Luckily I realised I was just looking at others and thinking my lips looked thin before I did it! I don't need filler, my lips are fine as they are.

It is sad that people don't do it for them, but for how they feel they should look.

I was chatting to my aunt the other day and I mentioned someone I know who does Botox and she said "oh I go to her!"

Never once though that she had had botox and I've known her my whole life,her face is naturally beautiful, and there are zero signs she ever has it.

I don’t like Botox or intrusive work being done to women - I also don’t like the society we live in which makes a lot of women feel they ought to do this.

But your body, your money, your choice- your partner shouldn’t dictate what you do or try and guilt trip you out of it.

Changing your opinion of someone because they've done something to make then feel better about themselves is weird.

I'm assuming you walk around dressed in a potato sack, trying to look nice would obviously be vain and self obsessed.

I haven't worked for some time. My DH earns our entire household income. He thinks I'm nuts to be so worried about my appearance that I spend money on Botox and other treatments. That being said he very much sees any money that comes into the house as joint money and if I choose to spend money we can spare on these things he never questions it. He also never notices any difference, nobody does except me because the treatments I have are subtle and natural and that's how I like it.

IMO this is definitely a case of 'my body my choice'. Listen to her opinion but don't let other people control your body or make decisions for you.

I have botox and have had my teeth whitened.

I am not into my looks but I found I wouldn't smile in photos as I didn't like how my teeth looked. I have a very wrinkly forehead (the joys of having an expressive face!) so have botox there. There's a huge difference before and after but if its done well people don't think ooh shes had botox! I don't have the bit above my brow done as I find it looks a bit more natural that way.

With my teeth, I've always had yellowish teeth. I had an accident years ago and the crowns from then were yellow and that's the colour they were when they were fitted. I had my teeth whitened and the crowns replaced. It cost more than I care to think about but was worth every penny. I don't try to cover my mouth when I'm talking anymore. It's not about being obsessed with how I look or anything like that.

If someone was pitching a fit because they didn't want me to do something to my face or my teeth then they could quite frankly fuck off.

Crying and threatening to leave over something so ridiculous would have me running for the hills.

While the crying is OTT, someone having Botox does change my opinion of them. It doesn’t matter whether I can c
See them, it’s the vanity and self obsession which surrounds it.

I’ve just had Botox and it’s great. No one else has noticed but I feel so much better. I also got a teeth whitening kit from the dentist last year. You get a mould of your teeth and you put some gel in it and wear it overnight for a week. Then your teeth are whiter and you just do it again whenever you need. Maybe a year later. I feel happier with my whiter teeth and my smoother forehead and to be honest had my oh said he didn’t want me to do that I would have been really annoyed and done it anyway. It’s your body and if it will make you happier your partner should be happy for you

I mean, I kind of get where she's coming from? My SO wants to tattoo his legs and chest, which I find unattractive so when he asks for my opinion I tell him that. However, I wouldn't love him any less or ever threaten to leave him. It is ultimately his body. But he would then have to accept the fact that I may be slightly less attracted to him than when I met him?

In any case crying and threatening to leave someone for making a personal decision like that is unacceptable in a loving long term relationship. But I also see her point of view.

I'm pretty anti the idea of Botox, fillers and cosmetic surgery, partly because I don't like the expectationthat women shouldn't look like they've aged, and partly because there are so many people who look worse after various procedures (not necessarily Botox though). That means I wouldn't have those procedures myself - othdr people can do what they like!

But... your partner's reaction seems unreasonable to me. If it were something extreme which was going to drastically alter your appearance I could understand it more, but a slightly smoother forehead and whiter teeth...? Not the biggest deal really.

botox i kind of get. i think it's a slippery slope leading to other potential surgical intrusions! but invisalign fair enough, teeth whitening up to you.

I do get why people don't want to be in a relationship with someone who looks fake though.

that said it's not up to her really, maybe you're not suited and it's time to leave.

And I’m NOT a fan of Botox myself, each to their own but the lip filler thing always looks craps. Your teeth straightening and whitening will definitely make you feel so much better about yourself

We all need to make the effort with ourselves, and not just about physical appearance, in all aspects. It’s the way to be as content as we can be with ourselves

I understand that it's a huge turn off, for example I would hate for my husband to get a tattoo.

Her reaction was a bit extreme. How do you feel about it now you know how she feels about it?

This is someone you’re with for a very short period of time telling you what you can and can’t do with your own body.

She’s threatening to leave you if you don’t do what she wants you to do?

Hold the door open for her so it doesn’t slam on her arse on the way out and find someone who wants you to be happy with yourself

She’s got a nerve, you know this. Don’t tell her anything else.

Tell her you’re going to make your own decisions and she’s free to make hers.

I have to say I do find Botox and fillers very offputting in people’s faces. Being married to a man, means I don’t have the concern that he might do it, but I honestly don’t know how I would feel if he did.

OP it's your body, and quite honestly if your partner finds it so easy to threaten to leave you if you make your own decisions about your body then I would question the relationship. You haven't even done anything yet and your OH is already saying they'll go. If it's that easy to leave over an injection to the forehead how strong is their love? In a relationship you won't always approve of each others choices or agree on things but there has to be a mutual respect, 'I don't agree but I support you' should be what your OH is saying.

Honestly no one knows I have Botox or fillers they just tell me I look really well.

Just do it, it's your money. Make sure it's a really reputable place though.