Partner unhappy with botox & more

I've left my partner and this is one of the reasons. I want my eyebrows bladed amongst other things. I can't be with someone who has the audacity to think they can exercise control over the body of a partner.

Are there other treatments out there that don't include botox?

Get a fringe?

Her reaction is really off.
Also she said she's not attracted to people who are self-conscious about their looks. That's really odd.
So you have to be completely happy with the way you look or she's not attracted to you?
If she'd said she doesn't find the over-botoxed look attractive or doesn't like really fake bright white Hollywood smiles then I could understand that a bit - I don't like those looks either, but if a partner wanted to have those treatments done then it's up to them.
I don't really understand what she's getting at. Is she worried you'd become more attractive to other people? Why would she say being self-conscious about your looks isn't attractive? If you are self-conscious and want to get something dealt with then surely that would help you?

There's something else going on here....

If you want to have botox and invisalign and tooth whitening then go for it.
The invisalign in particular is good as straighter teeth are easier to clean between - it's improving your health.
The tooth whitening is chemical but that's up to you to decide. If she doesn't agree with it she doesn't have to have her own teeth whitened.

She cried? Really? Sounds very manipulative.

In the end you need to fancy someone to be in a relationship with them. I'm not attracted to many people, I find a lot of things a turn off, I hate when people wear obvious designer labels or clothes that everyone else can see are very expensive, I hate when people are dependent on having a certain social media image, or crowd pleasers in general. It's perfectly reasonable that someone would look at me and say 'she's not my type, I prefer someone who dresses nicer'.
I was in a relationship with someone who I felt was mature and self confident, over the years and with the start of FB etc he started to be more involved with his own image and my attraction to him went.
Your partner isn't wrong to have things that put her off of being attracted to someone and I suppose she's just being honest, but you are not wrong to do what makes you happy either. You just might not be very compatible.

I'm almost in the exact same place OP, minus the crying.

I have been considering fillers for a while (also don't considering myself vain) but my dw HATES me even talking about it and says she finds all that very unattractive. I don't know if she specifically means the "done" stereotypical look or more just that she doesn't like that I would even consider having something injecting into my skin, purely for my looks. She has really made it clear she'd hate me to go ahead, but the tears seem a bit much OP.

Other than this, is the relationship going well?

Despite my DH purporting to have very very strong viewers about Botox & commenting on every frozen face he sees, he does not notice mine. I have Botox twice a year, have done for 3 or 4 years. Go to a good practitioner WITH A MEDICAL DEGREE & you should get a lovely result if that’s what you want.

My youngest dsis wants botox same thing lines on her forehead

she looks so young though she still gets id for alcohol-ive told her i dont tlike it and shes an addictive person so i doubt this would be a one off but what can you do-crying over it seems ott

whitening doesnt mean anything

@Noname91 to answer your question about how did I decide where to go it was just online research then reading the reviews.

Landed on one who has two practices, one 25 mins from me and another in Harley Street. So reputable and location was a factor.

It's a tricky one as I'm a feminist and don't like us having to monitor our looks as we age BUT this was about how I felt about myself and as a 50 year old single menopausal mum I need to ensure my career is long and fruitful, no matter how good you are you get judged for your looks as a woman. I'm in tech, it's brutal and male dominated. As I hit menopause my face looked bloody dreadful and I physically felt run over, Botox and HRT sorted me out.

Your money, your body, your choice.

If you have more questions about the procedure head over to style and beauty, lots of posts on there and maybe some helpful advice.

I’ve been having Botox injections and fillers for around seven years, and my DH has had his teeth whitened. Neither of us is vain or self obsessed.

In my case, I just look as if I’ve had a good night’s sleep. I get what I suppose you would call a little tweak… I never overdo it.

There is a huge difference between what I get, and DH’s teeth (that look beautifully clean rather than dazzling white), and what you might see on one of those trashy reality programmes.

No bright white fake teeth, no frozen forehead and big lips. I started searching online in the local area and found a really good practitioner. She refuses to do the overdone look. I still have small lines when I smile at the corners of my eyes, and I can still raise my eyebrows – the lines are just fewer more minimal than they used to be.

Hopefully your partner is merely worried that you are going to overdo it, and doesn’t want you ending up looking like something from TOWIE – although the crying and threatening to leave you is way over the top. On the other hand,, this could be the signal of controlling behaviour. Her arguments don’t really stack up, do they?

She cried because you are considering having this done? That's pathetic.

She's so wet she should come with her own lifeguards.

It’s a bit dramatic for her to actually cry but I agree with her; I wouldn’t want to be with someone who got Botox.
I’d like to have my teeth whitened though

I can understand her voicing her concerns but the theatrics are worrying.

I think I would be put off somebody that started Botox in their 30s, seems like excessive vanity to me and I generally don’t like the idea of it at all. I am bemused about the teeth whitening though and your partner does appear to be over reacting.

I would also point out that straighter teeth mean less gum disease, which is linked to heart disease! My teeth have far less gum disease now straightened as the way they crossed caused it and no amount of flossing etc could help.

Having straight, healthy teeth is optimum for future health as we age.

But why would the partner have a point if the Op's face changed? We have the right, in our relationships, to get different glasses, change our hair, grow a beard (if a man, usually), do all kinds of things. People also put on weight. People change over time and nice normal people don't seek, if they love their partner, to massively control this by sobbing they don't want people to care about their looks.

Usually the issue is the partner does care about the person's looks, say wanting them to lose weight. Sobbing that they are superficial for having their teeth straightened is unusual to say the least.

It would put me right off too, l am a strong believer we need to teach our younger generation there is no shame in growing old. Instead of feeding this belief we need to turn the tide and embrace it. We dont need more plastic looking faces, we need a different healthier attitude. Don' t play the competative game of who looks the youngest, nobody with an ounce of intelligence cares.
Imagine the difference in our young girls self esteem if we taught them true beauty has nothing to do with looks.

I don't like that she sounds so controlling. Where does she draw her line about what you do to your face or body? Can you wear make-up? Colour your hair? Does she?

I had invisalign a few years back and it made no end of difference to my self confidence. I didn't even think to ask my ex husband's permission first! I earned my own money and am an adult so didn't need to run it past him first.

SInce we separated I've also had botox twice on my frown line. My dp didn't bat an eyelid but it's none of his business if he did. No-ne even noticed the botox anyway unless I told them - it was for me.

This is a very strange reaction. Invisalign and teeth whitening is really not an invasive cosmetic procedure, I have never heard of anyone who, if their partner had the money and wanted to do it, would prefer them to have crooked more yellow teeth! I had it done a few years ago, wish I'd done it ages ago, so don't let her put you off (I think it's a her, not sure, her or him).

As for Botox, I don't love the look but it's absolutely your body and none of her business. I also think small amounts to fix one problem such as forehead lines can look fine.

She wants someone who doesn't care about their looks at all- fine, let her go find someone. Crying over that is bizarre.

Well… thee has been quite a few threads in here about Botox and actually many people say it’s visible and it does change the way you look, not in a good way. So on that respect, I think your partner has a point.

On the other side, it’s your body so really up to you to decide what to with it.

The fact your partner is also again invisiline makes me think there is more to it than just the Botox. I mean I have never come across someone who is against their partner wanting to straightened their teeth. Quite the opposite.

So I’d say there is more going on there.

My question thus is:
Is there any other area where your partner is telling you what is or isn’t ok to do? Controlling your behaviour/clothes/what you do etc…

"W regards to the whitening that was the whole 'it's a chemical and I don't believe in it'."

How ridiculous. Everything's a bloody chemical! Tell her you drink dihydrogen monoxide (also known as hydric acid) regularly so she'd better leave you for that too. In fact, buy yourself one of [[https://www.amazon.co.uk/Science-Dihydrogen-Monoxide-Periodic-Aluminum/dp/B074NBBC9H/ref=sr_1_2?crid=SV0O1BV1GEOO&keywords=dihydrogen%2Bmonoxide%2Bbottle&qid=1643197132&sprefix=Dihydrogen%2Bmonoxide%2Caps%2C53&sr=8-2&th=1
these]] and see how she reacts when you drink from it .

I've been thinking about just a little botox for the forehead wrinkles too - it's not like it's something moisturiser can do anything about (is your partner against moisturiser? Hair brushes?) - I wouldn't consider myself even slightly obsessed with my looks, but sometimes, just like it's nice to have a nice outfit, it's nice to do something little to polish up what you have.

Straightening teeth, a bit of whitening (not glow in the dark, but just fresh-looking) etc. I can't see the problem (and bear in mind, I don't even shave my legs, rarely wear makeup, and only get my hair cut every 6 months after years of doing it myself)

There is a world of difference between a little bit of botox for forehead wrinkles, and immobilising your face.

I have Botox in my forehead and is e whitening kits and nobody has noticed 😂

I feel better about myself, my head was starting to form hard lines and I did get tension headaches both of which has gone.

I have whitening trays and tend to do them if and when I fancy it. The red Colgate whitening tooth paste is amazing and you can get in home bargains.

Reality is your been honest, she’s projecting some form of feelings on to you. I’d suggest trying to have an open conversation to see if there some deeper issue to what you have said, if not it was come across controlling.

It's your body, your choice.

My DH has a tattoo's I'm not a lover of tattoos but it's his body and his choice, I love him for him, and if tattoo make him happy who I am to stop that.