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Original poster

Partner unhappy with botox & more

259 replies

Noname91 · 26/01/2022 10:25

Hi there
So my partner of 1.5 years reacted quite badly to me saying I may want botox and my teeth to be whitened. I'm in my 30s. I'm not super self conscious it's just something I want. I come from a long line of wrinkly foreheads.
I am financially independent- I have a decent job.
Background..
When I mentioned that my sister and I had discussed getting Botox to our foreheads, and foreheads only, she said she doesn’t want to be with someone who has Botox or anything to do with altering the way I look - inc Invisalign and whitening of teeth. She cried a lot and said she’s only attracted to people who aren’t self conscious about their looks.
W regards to the whitening that was the whole 'it's a chemical and I don't believe in it'.
I guess it's nice that my partner likes how I look naturally - I'd be upset if they wanted me/ told me to get it done but I do think Christ it's my body and also how can someone who Loves me threaten you leave me if I get it done.
I don't know what to think or feel.
I am confused by this reaction.

Anyone been through something similar/ have some advice?
Are there other treatments out there that don't include botox? Thanks x

OP posts:
Maunderingdrunkenly · 26/01/2022 10:51

The thing is what you’re proposing is fairly low key (whitened teeth and Botox) may just lightly life what you already look like depending on how subtly you have it done, presumably you aren’t proposing to turn you into Katie Price?

V controlling from her. Also both will fade, it’s not like a high stake decision??

Rosebuud · 26/01/2022 10:48

That’s a very weird reaction and thing to say. And all the crying and threatening is very controlling and manipulative. I’d tell her you’re not self concious about your looks and you’re not attracted to people who try to emotionally blackmail and threaten you. And if she can’t be with you after, then you’re sad thr feelings were so shallow, but it’s her choice.

I guess she feels threatened by it, as in you’ll look better so will dump her for someone else.

SmolCat · 26/01/2022 10:42

My DP is also very strongly against me having Botox (I don’t have it, we were just talking hypothetically). Mostly because of the, albeit very low, risks.

But the difference is she would never cry and threaten to leave me over it and she wouldn’t think she can control my body and my choices. It sounds like your DP needs to drastically work on managing and regulating her emotions. Or that she’s being manipulative and controlling.

Tal45 · 26/01/2022 10:40

People who did botox and whitened their teeth wouldn't appeal to me either. She doesn't get to decide what you do to your body but she does get to decide if she wants to be with you or not.

Stompythedinosaur · 26/01/2022 10:36

This isn't really about botox. Your partner is unreasonable to feel they have any say or control over your body, and crying that they are "only attracted to people who aren't self-conscious" is manipulative and controlling.

Shoxfordian · 26/01/2022 10:34

She has no right to tell you what you can do with your body. I don’t like how she was crying and making your choices all about her either. She sounds very manipulative

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/01/2022 10:32

Your body, your money, your choice.

She can theb decide whether she wants to be with you.

PleasantBirthday · 26/01/2022 10:30

For reference, I have had botox in the past, never told anyone other than my mum, who also does it and doesn't tell anyone. There's no need to be broadcasting your business.

Nobody needs to consult all around them before getting their hair done.

PleasantBirthday · 26/01/2022 10:29

None of her business, unless you're asking her to pay. Your money, your teeth, your face. Why are you even discussing this with her?

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