Husband bought a christmas gift for another women

What a knob! Tell the husband!

no, I’m being practical. Most of the people on here telling her to LTB have likely never had to cope as a single parent on one wage. Sounds like good advice from the comfort of their homes.

I’m a single parent myself.
I would rather struggle on my own and be a good role model to my children than stay with someone for 4 years knowing they’re in love with someone else and will leave me the second they get the chance to.

Id say, 'ok if it isnt an issue then ill tell OWs husband'. Then do it.

Could she have been sent it anonymously? In a creepy way to get her dh jealous and cause a problem?

@WonderfulYou, no, I’m being practical. Most of the people on here telling her to LTB have likely never had to cope as a single parent on one wage. Sounds like good advice from the comfort of their homes.

I’ve raised 4 children on my own. She needs to get some money and childcare together and then fuck him off.

@melissasummerfield.!!!!whit!! "never have allowed"-is that for real?
husband and presume shes swanning about in it...her fella oblivious too.
kick him out.
you dont HAVE to listened to lies,backdated excuses "making a thing about it"bollocks.He did that-sneakin.who\what other females is he purchasing coverups for..
if- and --the clues are there love. Hes blew it.ITs entirely down to HIM.
shoe no mercy.hes only sheepish cos got caught.
sometimes i pretend am level headed n quite sweet...probably....id want to nip round,throw ma keys in the fruitbowl and ask what "they"gotchu.
sorry doll.

No it is not innocent.
If it was , it would not be secret from you or her DH.
You are being gas-lighted.

If innocent

• he might have been browsing generally and seen ad for leopard-pattern nightwear.

1) Id message her “selling yourself a bit cheap there luv”

2) I’m not going to say LTB because you have a tiny baby and it’s impractical. But this man isn’t forever. For now you just live with each other, make use of the second set of hands, squirrel away some money, go back to work asap and DO NOT have another baby with him. When baby gets to school age get the fuck out of there.

WTAF!
This man is obsessed with this women yet it’s apparently the OWs fault.

Not only are you blaming this women who could be completely oblivious to it all, but you also think OP should just put up with it for 4 years just because she has a baby!

Honestly OP I think he is lying . I would contact the woman's husband. What you really need is more people to know or to help as these men rely on confusing you and keeping it all locked down. Other people are the key here. I know it feels embarrassing and humiliating but that shame is his, not yours. Be open and get help

Perfect example of why it's pointless to blame the OW. There's no value to fidelity if the only reason for it is lack of a willing participant. He'd cheat if he could and he's trying to.

A leopard print dressing gown is a relatively intimate gift. As for his friend getting the wrong end of the stick, how was it supposed to be explained when the husband saw her wearing it?

I think I'd find the insult to my intelligence hardest to take.

his mate doesn't know and I'm not to tell him either

This tells you that he is giving this gift secretly.

Sorry OP.

Think about it. Why does she need another one if she has one?

You can't tell him what to do or dictate his life but you can make your own decisions.

He's acting in a way that is unacceptable and you need to decide what you will do about it.

I'd give him one chance to tell the truth and when he doesn't I would ask him to leave, for space, then file for divorce and tell her husband exactly how your husband has been behaving towards his ex friends wife.

YABU having a baby with someone that had already tried to cheat on you. Don’t waste anymore time with him.

1. Ask the Wife about the dressing gown
2. Tell the Wife’s Husband
3. Kick him out

Could you meet her face to face and ask her straight if she is having an affair with your DH. Don’t pre warn her that’s what the conversation is about.
Or tell the husband. Either way, don’t do nothing.

That would be the last Christmas I'd waste with that son of a bitch that's for damn sure!

There's nothing remotely sexy about a fleece leopard print dressing gown...... it's very tacky if anything, so that's not something I'd be remotely worried about.

But hiding it from you and his mate? That would imply that there is something deeper than buying a jokey gift. He's a shit for behaving like this........ you need to decide what's acceptable in your marriage and what isn't. And I'd say having contact with this mate and mate's wife is a deal breaker when he can't be trusted to behave around her.

I'm so sorry this has happened. You could never trust him. I'd be telling the other dh.

Him saying “Don’t tell her DH” suggests that they’ve had this same conversation between them.

I'd ask the husband if he knows anything about the gift. Surely if she wore it around the house, questions would be asked?

I'm so sorry OP.

He rings his friend now and tells him or your marriage is over.

If it's an innocent joke, there's no problem in telling the friend.

If not pack his shit in bin bags and throw it onto the drive.

If you do decide to leave him (that obviously has to be your decision), but don't want to until you have as much sorted before hand as possible, and/or until your baby is a bit older - if he is helpful with him or her - then please tell him that he has to stop meeting them, or you will be telling his (poor) friend all about the dressing gown.