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Original poster

Teenager talking at night

35 replies

DollyStardust · 01/01/2022 23:24

I'm laid in bed and about to settle down, I can hear my 18 Yr old DS in the room next door laughing and talking while he plays a game. He can sometimes do this until 4am with friends. Some nights he is louder than others and it causes arguments as it disturbs our sleep- he doesn't realise how much louder his voice is in a quiet house and argues that he isn't being loud.

It's hard to give him a curfew for this because he's of adult age, but equally he's acting like a child not considering others.

I don't understand how his friends can do it to without annoying their parents or waking siblings!?

OP posts:
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Psychodave7 · 18/01/2025 08:44

My son was being so loud playing video games all night that I had to go in there and ask him “why are we being so loud?” Unfortunately, I’m the only one in the house that has trouble sleeping. Everyone else could sleep through just about anything. If everyone had trouble sleeping because of him making so much noise, then it would be an easy fix because there are 4 other family members in the house. If it’s just me complaining about it no one will care because everyone else could probably sleep through a freight train passing through. It made me very uncomfortable to have to confront him about this.

Chloe1882 · 02/03/2024 23:36

I am really struggling with this but it's not gaming my 17yo talks ALL EFFING NIGHT on facetime group chats with friends. Our walls in our house are super thin so I've asked him to go downstairs where he will disturb us less at night once we come to bed but I cam still hear his big booming voice at least every other night. Me and my OH have anxiety going to bed as we don't know when we are going to be disturbed. I have threatened to block his phone if it carries on and he has even threatened leaving if I keep going on at him about it. I've got to the point now where I am saying, I love you and don't want you to go but if you don't think you can work with my rules in this house, maybe that's best. He went to college yesterday and didn't come home, I knew he was at his friends even tho he was aloof to where he was as tho he was never coming home but he did and I was relieved he was staying there last night as a quiet night, free from him gabbing all night was amazing. I'm in bed now, it's 11.30pm and I just feel like I'm waiting for him to wake me up all the time, I daren't go to sleep. :-(

Bussinbussin · 02/01/2022 22:48

I can't believe you put up with it!

I'm in the 'barge in and tell him to shut the fuck up' camp. Couldn't care less what his mates get away with. It was WW3 at our house for a few weeks but he's very sensible and quiet without any reminders now (17yo).

LSLLM · 02/01/2022 22:42

OP I’m not sure why you’re tip toeing around the lad? It’s your home.

Luredbyapomegranate · 02/01/2022 17:47

Either he plays somewhere you can’t hear him, or the wifi goes off and he doesn’t play.

He’s old for curfews but it’s your house, and he cannot deprive you off sleep.

DrDreReturns · 02/01/2022 17:25

@TheHoptimist I don't think he's worked that out yet. He only has limited data on his phone in any case

Bagamoyo1 · 02/01/2022 11:42

I would suggest that 11pm is a reasonable time to expect him to go quiet. If he makes a noise after that, ask him not to. If he keeps on making a noise, then simply wake him in the morning when you get up, lights on, curtains open, door open, music playing. Petty but it might make him realise how annoying it is to have your sleep disturbed.

Original poster
DollyStardust · 02/01/2022 11:37

Thanks for the comments, I have always wondered if it was just me as he is talking to others and their parents don't seem bothered - when he was at Secondary school his friends would take the mick out of him having to be quiet and/or come off the headphones. He did quieten down last night when asked and I feel better that I'm not BU if I start to threaten that he has to turn them off, WiFi off etc.

Fortunately, we are in a semi and his room is next to the empty space at the side of the house so I don't believe he disturbs anyone outside of the house and we havent got a house very close to the front or back however if he did we would be informed I'm sure!

He does seem to reduce his volume naturally from about 10pm with the whooping reduced to a laugh so there is hope he's learning natural cues! Dont get me wrong, the whooping isnt something he does through the night its just having a deep voice it carries more through the night, to him, he is just talking a normal volume but normal volume in a quiet house at night is still too loud so this is where the friction develops!

However I will continue to tell him if needed

OP posts:
EnglishRose1320 · 02/01/2022 01:15

My ds1 is slightly younger, 16 but the rules we have in place will still be in place when he is 18. Talking stops by 10:30, 11 in the holidays. Typing (his keyboard is so loud!) Stops by 11, or 12 in the holidays.
But it's the same rules for all of us, OH has real sleep issues and will sometimes be up until 2/3 in the morning but from 10:30 onwards he will be using headphones if he is listening to anything.

douliket · 02/01/2022 01:08

Please tell me this is a joke. Why in the name of God are you allowing another adult in the house to disturb everyone's sleep. It is basic manners. Your adult child should have acquired these manners by now.I can't imagine my 18 year old having so little respect for our family. Please parents stop allowing your children to feel entitled.

RavingAnnie · 02/01/2022 01:01

We had a rule of no headphone talking after we were in bed.

ReginaaPhalange · 02/01/2022 00:57

@AntiHop

That would drive me mad! I wonder if the neighbours can hear him too.
We have the exact same issue with the 21 year old boy across from us. He is so loud, he swears and he screams like a child. He's definitely playing games like fifa cause he screams things like "pass me the fucking ball, I'm wide open".

His parents don't appear to have addressed it in the 7 years they have lived there, and also the complains about the noise (1am Monday mornings) from other neighbours on the estates Facebook page (which his parents saw the posts).

So chances are, yes, your neighbours will be hearing it and are probably really annoyed with it...

Cameleongirl · 02/01/2022 00:47

I agree that you need to speak to him about keeping the noise down generally. My DS (13) also plays online games with his friends and we've had to speak to him about shouting and whooping.

I know he's a child and yours is an adult, but it's common courtesy and consideration for other people living in the house.

TheHoptimist · 02/01/2022 00:40

@DrDreReturns

I turn the WiFi off with my 15 year old. I appreciate you may not be able to do this with an adult but you may have to give him an ultimatum - change your behaviour or lose WiFi access overnight.
Don’t they just tether off phone?
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 02/01/2022 00:28

My 15 and 16 year olds like to yell and laugh loudly while gaming. They have enough respect to quieten down when we tell them to though. As much as I dislike the "turn the WiFi off when I go to bed, that's exactly what would happen if they carried on with the noise

sofakingcool · 02/01/2022 00:25

My 18 yr old DS is a pain for this too. He's always good at turning the volume down (shutting up!) when asked but I get fed up with asking.

Generally he's turning it off about midnight, but that's a bit later than we go to bed. In the holidays I ask him to move downstairs into our converted garage where he can play as long as he wants

JorahFriendZone · 02/01/2022 00:24

Honestly I would tell him. It may be that he doesn’t realise, so give him the benefit of the doubt and have a word. If he carries on doing it after that then it’s a lack of respect. A close friend lives next door (adjoining flat) to a late teenager who plays on his PC and is up all hours being rather noisy. It has drone my friend to distraction and made him very unhappy where he lives. The parents don’t seem to let the noise bother them, but overall they seem a bit of a noisy family. If you have adjoining neighbours please ensure your son has an awareness about noise on them too, as well as on those in the home.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 01/01/2022 23:54

@elelel

It's hard to give him a curfew for this because he's of adult age

He isn't acting with adult consideration, so I would curfew accordingly.

This. I would expect an adult of any age (a partner for example) to not be so rude as to regularly keep others in the house awake by talking late while gaming (or anything else). If he wants to have free run of a home and make all the noise he wants whenever he wants, he's welcome to live alone or with someone else who doesn't mind. I would say the same if your partner was the one doing it.
Scbchl · 01/01/2022 23:54

Mine also do the same and it drives us nuts.

Summerfun54321 · 01/01/2022 23:52

New house rule = WiFi goes off when you go to bed.

gogohm · 01/01/2022 23:45

I just tell mine no. They can go to bed whenever they want but speaking is not acceptable once I'm in bed and headphones must be worn. If they don't like it then they can go back to their halls/flat (they both want to stay here if lectures are online so I can "home educate" them aka kick them out of bed and make them work!)

AntiHop · 01/01/2022 23:43

That would drive me mad! I wonder if the neighbours can hear him too.

Original poster
DollyStardust · 01/01/2022 23:42

He has college and is good at settling down on the evenings before as he gets up at 6am. It happens at weekends and worsens as his body clock changes over the holidays.

OP posts:
violetbunny · 01/01/2022 23:41

If he's 18 it's easier, he's an adult so you treat him like you would any other adult. It's your house, your rules.

If he doesn't keep it down i would start changing the internet password every night before you go to bed.

shampooing · 01/01/2022 23:40

It doesn't matter if he's an adult, it's your house.
If he wants to be treated like an adult he can behave like one.
If he were in a house share the others might not like to be disturbed. There have also been recent threads where neighbours were being disturbed by gaming teenagers.

Does he have school or college? Can't tell if this is "only" an issue because of the holidays.