Does anyone else feel like they've married the wrong person?

Yes and pretty much for the same reasons as you I'm ashamed to say
We are now separated
However it was due to his addictions not because there was no spark on my part
If things had been ok otherwise I think we couple have had a nice life and been happy. I know I'll probably never be with anyone I feel that spark for anyway . It happened twice and they both tore my heart out

Even if you found someone special, chances are it would all wane after a few years and you would be back to square one. Well, this is how I feel. I know others will disagree.

Get some marriage counselling and see it it helps. If not then part ways.

Yes I feel like this. I want someone who is crazy about me and DH just isn’t / never has been. When I bring it up he says of course he loves me, but that’s not the same as being truly head over heels for someone.

Truth is I had been dating unsuccessfully for ten years, all my friends were settling down and I really liked him so I decided to “settle” for someone who I knew was settling by being with me

I don’t regret it as I don’t think I would have met anyone else but I do regularly get upset wishing I had that special someone. Maybe we will split one day and that will happen but we won’t split for quite a while yet as I want to feel I’ve truly given it my all.

Yes. His parents passed away a full year ago and our house is a mess with their things. The spare room could be a nice space for DS but it's full of clutter. We have a door laid on its side on our kitchen floor, so only one person can sit down to a meal. I said I would like a composite door, he insisted on a wood door.We cannot get it painted due to bad weather, so I'm really puzzled about how we will eat Christmas dinner 😡 he's been wfh since covid and our living room is a mess with his papers. I cannot relax in my own living room when he is working. He has a bad temper and unfortunately DS has randomly started telling him to shut up. He won't swop his car for a 4 door one, so poor ds is crushed in the back with his long legs. However, he often speaks about changing his car with no actual intention of doing so. He won't give DS any lifts, even when it's pouring rain (might not get parked back on the road).
He won't allow DS to have his playstation in his room but constantly complains about the noise

Romcoms are fiction and they’re so popular precisely because real men don’t behave like that. Same with romance novels.

But it does siund to me like you’re feeling unloved and unloving and not getting your needs met in the relationship. Or it could just be typical midlife regrets which most of us have, either about choosing the wrong person or missed opportunities or having children or not having them... So the question is whether you actually want to change anything in your life and if so what that might be.

I do think that in general men get less and less romantic/affectionate/chatty, certainly mine seems to feel that was stuff he had to do to get a wife and now he has one so why bother when an iPhone is so much more interesting. Then he wonders why our sex life isn’t it what it used to be 🤔

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Oh and I know he loves me and the kids and I love him but I just don't fancy him anymore..:

Oh this is sad. I can do relate to that feeling - I would have married the man I was with at 25 because I felt the same way as you, thought that was my best offer. But then he cheated on me and put an end to that, and I was free to mature and discover some self esteem and know that I had more varied choices. I fortunately did find the right man for me, but like pp says god it is hard work at times and not like a romcom. But it sounds like you feel in your bones this isn’t right, and that’s that. You could think about counselling or things to help communication to see if the relationship can be salvaged, if you want to. Have you told him any of how you feel?

I feel the bit the same.

Lovely lovely man but not a great talker so I socialise far more with my friends and satisfy that part of my life separately

I can't be bothered to sell out beautiful hone and upset the kids for feeling a bit meh about our relationship

I know others will say - life's to short etc but I'm generally not Unhappy

You don’t have to love someone to live with them and raise children. Also you have to think what are the chances you would meet someone else as a middle aged mum with three kids? Even if you met a compatible man he’s unlikely to sign up for raising three kids that aren’t his. I understand the feeling of wanting love but some of us are in a situation where that’s just not a realistic desire.

I feel sad when i look at my husband's expanding waistline and double chin.

Why don’t you want to leave him when he’s not what you want in a husband? Life’s too short to be unhappy

Romcoms aren't real life though. Someone being nice and kind isn't a bad reason to choose them as a partner and father for your dc.

But it sounds like there is something you want that you aren't getting from your relationship. Do you know what that is? Would relationship counselling help?