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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you remember Heather Mills?

609 replies

LucilleBluth · 28/11/2021 18:52

I have been watching the Beatles documentary and got to thinking about her.

She was in the papers constantly in the 2000s, I remember her being painted as an absolute con artist witch. I googled a few articles about her from the time of the divorce. They are brutal in the misogynistic tone, she’s labelled as a slag, a goer, ex prostitute, you name it.

I don’t think papers write about women in such hash terms anymore. Maybe she was a bit of a twat, whoever married Saint Paul would have suffered at that time I think.

I suppose by AIBU is are the press less misogynistic.

OP posts:
EightWheelGirl · 30/11/2021 19:52

@user1471457751

She assaulted her husband's divorce barrister by throwing water over her. Apparently over £20m wasn't enough for her
Yes, I think much of the bad publicity was from her seemingly feeling entitled to many millions of £££. Whether it was exaggerated I don’t know but she certainly did well from PMs success.
UnitedRoad · 30/11/2021 19:51

@Classica

This is Fiona Shackleton after Heather had chucked the jug of water over her head. I can't imagine being that angry after a settlement of £20m.

(Not the point at all, but her hair looks so much better de-pouffed.)

She looks at least 15 years younger and no so Camilla Parker Bowles
EYProvider · 30/11/2021 19:47

Regarding the ‘massive abuses’ - like writing your lover (who has already been implicated in the mysterious death of one billionaire heiress) into your the will of your depressed, drug addled, vulnerable spouse?

EXACTLY.

MobMoll · 30/11/2021 19:47

I do remember her being treated horribly. She wasn’t very likeable but still it was really unreasonable and unkind. I don’t like Paul McCartney either.

EYProvider · 30/11/2021 19:43

Why don’t you look it up, Elvish? John Green, Yoko’s tarot card reader talks about the power of attorney extensively in his book (he tried and failed to persuade John not to sign it), but John also spoke about in several interviews. Plus, the will is on the internet.

Look it up before you dismiss it out of hand. How else will you know for sure?

UniversalAunt · 30/11/2021 19:38

From hazy recall of an interview with PMc about how down to Earth they were despite the massive assets - Linda handwashed his shirts.

WTF!

TheElvishQueen · 30/11/2021 19:23

Did you know him personally? POA cannot take over unless a doctor has certified incapacity. In theUS too I’m sure. Otherwise there would be massive abuses all over the place would nt there?

EYProvider · 30/11/2021 19:21

I am not making this up, Elvish. They didn’t live in the UK, did they, so UK law did not apply.

Look up the will - it’s on the internet. There might even be a paragraph in that that refers to her having power of attorney. She definitely did.

I agree @YokoOnosHat, he was functional some of the time and especially at the end. The rest of the time, he was half dead.

YokoOnosHat · 30/11/2021 19:09

@EYProvider

He didn’t write his will, Elvish. She did.

He had already given her a power of attorney by then, but he was barely functional.

I’m not sure he was “barely functional” @EYProvider. ‘Watching the Wheels’, ‘I’m Moving On’ and ‘Cleanup Time’ are all some of the greatest work of his solo career and were written and recorded only a few months before his death.
TheElvishQueen · 30/11/2021 19:08

All I know is in the UK power of attorney does not kick in unless a person is considered to be incapacitated. He wasn’t. Not at all. There would have had to be doctors certifying that he was incapacitated for her to take over all his affairs before his death. You are talking nonsense.
I have POA for my elderly mother. I can’t take decisions for her unless she is considered beyond the point where she can make them herself. A doctor needs to decide this independently.
It is usual for husbands and wives to appoint each other power of attorney in the case that they end up dead, in a coma or too ill to speak or think rationally. This is perfectly normal.

HoardingSamphireSaurus · 30/11/2021 19:06

@Honeyroar

I was an air stewardess for years. She was a passenger on one of my flights. I inwardly cringed when she walked on and sat in the bit I was working in. I was expecting a diva. But she was really down to Earth and polite, even when the airline had not loaded her preordered vegan meal. It was at the time that she was training for the Winter Olympics and I had a chat with her about that. She completely changed my (media formed) opinion of her.

And let’s face it, P Mc was an idiot to rush into another marriage so quickly.

You do know whe wasn't in the British team? That she threatened and verbally abused a Paralympic offical for doing their job and actually used that wel kown pharse "Don't you know who I am?" whilst doing so.

The problem was that Mills had changed her prosthesis since her equipoment had been ratified for competition, When the offical queried the new prosthetic Mills and her coach went all out on the "they've got a vendetta, they hate me" They being anyone and everyone who questioned her.

It wasn't even as though her new prosthetic would definitely have been banned. The official was just checking it was going through the right channels to be approved. Just like everyone elses equipment changes would.

As with many things she said and did along her various career trajectories, she could be extremely self sabotaging.

EYProvider · 30/11/2021 19:01

The will is a matter of public record - it’s on the internet. He absolutely did give her a power of attorney - he did it voluntarily and spoke about it quite openly in interviews. Whether he actually felt that he had a choice in the matter (surrounded as he was by dubious characters who worked for her) is up for debate.

Like most people who are seriously mentally ill and drug addled, he was functional some of the time. He got himself together to some extent towards the end - working gave him a reason to get up, I suppose. Most of the time from 1975-80, he was in a depressed drug haze.

TheElvishQueen · 30/11/2021 18:56

Yes that’s what happened. Yoko managed the whole thing. John did what he was told.

ArblemarchTFruitbat · 30/11/2021 18:54

I think John did escape Yoko didn't he? With May Pang?

Yoko's account of this is that she set John and May up together (May was one of her staff) because she and John needed break from each other after being virtually inseparable for several years.

TheElvishQueen · 30/11/2021 18:47

Where are you getting your information from?

TheElvishQueen · 30/11/2021 18:47

@EYProvider

He didn’t write his will, Elvish. She did.

He had already given her a power of attorney by then, but he was barely functional.

How do you know this? He was making a comeback at the time of his death. He wasn’t ‘barely functional’. I assume in the US there have to be witnesses to the will and a legal process? You don’t get power of attorney for someone who is in possession of his faculties. I’m sorry but you sound delusional.
EYProvider · 30/11/2021 18:45

He didn’t write his will, Elvish. She did.

He had already given her a power of attorney by then, but he was barely functional.

EYProvider · 30/11/2021 18:43

Yoko has certainly liked to promote that narrative over the years, @HousethatChunkbuilt.

I bet she can’t believe her luck that the political climate has changed so radically in her favour that she’s now held up as some sort of poster child of oppressed womanhood. It’s what she’s always wanted. In fact, go back far enough and you’ll probably find she started the movement.

It doesn’t make it true. She may have been given a tough time by the British press, but the idea that she was some sort of victim is absurd. Yoko is a BILLIONAIRE; she was BORN into immense privilege. She is not a victim, and the fact that she was once called ‘Jap’ by the British press does not absolve her of the damage she has done to other people or the hurt she has caused. That’s on her, regardless of her gender or ethnicity.

TheElvishQueen · 30/11/2021 17:57

@EYProvider

You can’t be that naive, Elvish. No one can be that naive.
What do you mean? Do you think Yoko held a gun to his head whilst he was writing his will?
HousethatChunkbuilt · 30/11/2021 17:41

As well as misogyny there's a fair bit of racism around the narrative that poor John Lennon was kept under the control of this evil Asian temptress. Remember what was going on at this time, Vietnam and it wasn't long after the US were at war with Japan. The papers were vile about Yoko's ethnicity at the time. She may not be all sweetness and light but she did not deserve the abuse she got. A white American woman would not have got the same treatment.
Another parallel with MM and Harry for you.

EYProvider · 30/11/2021 17:36

You can’t be that naive, Elvish. No one can be that naive.

TheElvishQueen · 30/11/2021 17:20

@EYProvider

Sam Green was not in John’s will accidentally, Elvish, anymore than he was in Barbara Baekeland’s will accidentally:

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1034556/I-wasnt-blame-heiress-murder-says-art-expert-depicted-screen-incest-threesome.html

I mean, what are the odds?

Of course it wasn't accidental. However John decided he should be there, so that was John's choice, not Yoko's. (We would hope).
TheElvishQueen · 30/11/2021 17:19

@YokoOnosHat

Yoko and John Lennon’s relationship was very dysfunctional on both sides, I think. I’m not sure you could put a fag paper between them really in that relationship. JL was clearly very damaged by his childhood (understandably, it was horrible) but I think that YO had quite a horrible childhood too (in a different way). From what I’ve read she also had a very weird way in relationships of feeling she had to get pregnant to “own” the man too (and this resulted in quite a few abortions) but she suffered numerous losses with JL and their fertility struggles made them both very depressed and unhappy. They tried on and off for Sean for more than eight years and suffered at least four miscarriages. It was the second one I think that lead to their using heroin. Those issues and the heavy drug use can’t have made anyone behave as their best self.

That said, John was clearly a weak and depressive character who was easily led and Yoko was obviously more dominant. And John absolutely treated Cynthia and Julian terribly and Yoko carried on that legacy. I believe it took Julian more than 15yrs to get what was rightfully his from his fathers estate and even then it was chicken feed in the grand scheme of the billion dollar industry that the Lennon name had become. Cynthia was never wealthy and had to work all her life and rely on Julian once he was successful in order to live. She got no maintenance despite having put her own career on hold to have Julian and be John’s wife (she was doing teacher training when she got pregnant) and a lengthy marriage. She also only got quite a small settlement when you consider John’s wealth by the time or the divorce, that I believe she brought a very average 3 bed house with. This compared to Maureen Starkey, first wife of Ringo, who had a huge settlement, sizeable maintenance and was well looked after.

I think there’s a hope and feeling amongst Beatles fans that Sean Lennon is a much nicer man than either of his parents and as the soul inheritor of the Lennon/Ono estate he might quietly better distribute the wealth to his brother. He and Julian seem to have a very genuine, respectful relationship and hopefully he sees how poorly Julian was treated and will redress that balance.

Yes, I was wondering that too. Will Sean see his half brother right when Yoko dies. It's really lovely to see their connection now. Yoko apparently has an illness that means she is wheelchair bound now and she has round the clock carers.
YokoOnosHat · 30/11/2021 17:16

Yoko and John Lennon’s relationship was very dysfunctional on both sides, I think. I’m not sure you could put a fag paper between them really in that relationship. JL was clearly very damaged by his childhood (understandably, it was horrible) but I think that YO had quite a horrible childhood too (in a different way). From what I’ve read she also had a very weird way in relationships of feeling she had to get pregnant to “own” the man too (and this resulted in quite a few abortions) but she suffered numerous losses with JL and their fertility struggles made them both very depressed and unhappy. They tried on and off for Sean for more than eight years and suffered at least four miscarriages. It was the second one I think that lead to their using heroin. Those issues and the heavy drug use can’t have made anyone behave as their best self.

That said, John was clearly a weak and depressive character who was easily led and Yoko was obviously more dominant. And John absolutely treated Cynthia and Julian terribly and Yoko carried on that legacy. I believe it took Julian more than 15yrs to get what was rightfully his from his fathers estate and even then it was chicken feed in the grand scheme of the billion dollar industry that the Lennon name had become. Cynthia was never wealthy and had to work all her life and rely on Julian once he was successful in order to live. She got no maintenance despite having put her own career on hold to have Julian and be John’s wife (she was doing teacher training when she got pregnant) and a lengthy marriage. She also only got quite a small settlement when you consider John’s wealth by the time or the divorce, that I believe she brought a very average 3 bed house with. This compared to Maureen Starkey, first wife of Ringo, who had a huge settlement, sizeable maintenance and was well looked after.

I think there’s a hope and feeling amongst Beatles fans that Sean Lennon is a much nicer man than either of his parents and as the soul inheritor of the Lennon/Ono estate he might quietly better distribute the wealth to his brother. He and Julian seem to have a very genuine, respectful relationship and hopefully he sees how poorly Julian was treated and will redress that balance.

EYProvider · 30/11/2021 17:16

Sam Green was not in John’s will accidentally, Elvish, anymore than he was in Barbara Baekeland’s will accidentally:

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1034556/I-wasnt-blame-heiress-murder-says-art-expert-depicted-screen-incest-threesome.html

I mean, what are the odds?

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