"Boston marriage" - any experience?

What about tax? When and if she ever sells her house, it’ll be liable for CGT whereas yours won’t if you continue living in it as the designated “family home”.
Or what if her tenants end up not paying the rent and she has to cover the mortgage and can’t contribute to yours, how will that work?

When people talk about a romantic partner moving into the house of the other partner, there's often comment in MN about being very clear about ownership of the house - if the mover-in contributes to the mortgage they may have claim to some ownership. You'd personally need to get very clear legal advice on this.

Another obvious question that I'm sure you've thought about: Do both of you get on with the fathers of the other's children? If the fathers are co-parenting they will be showing up at your home so there needs to be a basic level of a good relationship.

I’d look for cohabitation and Co-parenting agreements online as a guide to issues to discuss. You need to work out how much notice is required to end it. Presumably she’d need time to give her tenants notice and/or to find somewhere new if you wanted to stop it.

Just like Kate and Allie, an American sitcom from the 80's. I have often wondered why more single mothers don't do something similar.

I think it's a wonderful idea; a pooling of resources and companionship. I would try to make an agreement, written down, to include finances, property maintenance, etc. Maybe set an agreement for a certain time frame, and reassess after that time. Good luck.

My main issue would be to have to live with someone else’s children. I would love to live with my best friend in theory but although I love being around my own child, being around other people’s makes me feel drained after a while. I don’t think I could do it full time. But if you are really into the idea, in theory, I think it is a good one.

Love this! Good luck OP

It sounds to me like the only civillised way to cohabit.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin

I’ve discussed this with friends too

I think this sounds like an incredibly sensible idea and I’m surprised more single parents and single people in general don’t do it, not in a ‘flat share’ with strangers scenario but with a good friend or family member you know you’d get on with why not?

Sounds fab - but I’d def do a very detailed agreement about possible areas of disagreement and also a process for when you disagree about somethinf

I'm a single mum and I would love to do this, and kid too. I think I'd want my bedroom to function as a private living space to retreat to sometimes - comfy chair, tv, music etc. Echo having regular house meetings to check in with each other so nothing festers

I've never understood why more single parents don't do this. It sounds like a great idea. I just think it would be wise to set some boundaries first - e.g discuss parenting styles and what is unacceptable to each of you, be honest about your strengths and weaknesses, make sure you have time alone and that shared childcare is fairly distributed.

Perhaps scenario plan backwards from 'exit events' and factor in what happens if someone wants to emigrate, move in with a romantic partner and so on.

In some respects, it can be worse to stop riding the property horse than to be just about managing.

Your DC might want a script to explain a non-traditional arrangement to friends.

Life assurance to make remaining in the home viable might be required.

Good luck.

My friend and l are planning to do this when we retire so kids will be long gone and we can just look after each other and keep each other company .

I would like this, but I am older than you and I would not want to live with a man again. What do you really want? This, or another man? If the latter, think hard before doing anything tricky to reverse.

I think you’d have to talk about a break up. It’ll hurt, but if you can co-parent, I often think a mini commune is the way to go.

My oldest friend and I (she’s on here - not on this thread that I’ve noticed ) have often talked about how much easier it would be at times raising our children with each other than our respective husbands….! It’s often in jest after hard days but honestly it sounds like you’ve really thought it through and I think we should normalise any situation that makes life kinder, easier and more fulfilling. Go for it!

I think it’s a great idea. You sound like you have an honest and open relationship and as long as you maintain this it could work really well. Me & my friend often say we’d rather live with each other, the kids & lots of cats!

Sounds as if it’s worth a try.

My only point is that when they are too old for nannies and you want an au pair (when there are some) , there might not be room.

It sounds idyllic. The only possible issue i can see with living as in such a close supportive partnership is that you may find it very difficult to separate in future. And of course, you'll both be ruined for living with a man again for the rest of your lives!

@abostonfiancee 😁😁😁

The most loving, supportive relationship in my life is my relationship with my best friend. I met her at university 30 years ago. She’s always the first person I call if I have a problem. We’ve each married annoying, ineffectual man-children and I often think that life would have been so different if we’d just been allowed to “marry” each other.