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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how many Mumsnetters Mark Morriss has hit on?

113 replies

deeedeee · 18/11/2021 18:32

Strength in numbers. Well to Anna Wharton and the other 2 brave mums that have exposed him. There must be more ..

annawharton.substack.com/p/if-im-lying-come-sue-me

OP posts:
Original poster
deeedeee · 19/11/2021 17:22

It’s definately abusive in my book

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 19/11/2021 14:46

Infidelity in and of itself isn't abusive in my opinion.

It can be part and pattern of abuse of course but the act itself isn't - nasty, selfish, unthinking, cruel - yes. Abusive? Not automatically.

To be clear I'm talking generally. This man is quite clearly an abusive horror and my comments don't apply to his behaviour.

HelloBunny · 19/11/2021 14:36

I saw I guy I used to go out with, in town, last week. Hadn’t seen him in over ten years... He was still strutting around like the vain peacock he was when I knew him. I’m sure he still gets his fair share of women!

Blokes like this are toxic, there’s always the crazy ex / sob story / heartbreak.

EachandEveryone · 19/11/2021 12:44

I’m sure there’s many more it’s the band thing that does it.

TulipsGarden · 19/11/2021 12:23

I know someone who was involved with him years ago, for a long time off and on. He absolutely ruined her 20s.

WhatHoMarjorie · 19/11/2021 12:12

This case aside, I wouldn't class cheating as abuse. It's a violation of trust and it's a betrayal but it's not abuse.

JunoMcDuff · 19/11/2021 12:09

@OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea

Those saying it isn't abuse and he was just shagging around worry me.

When she takes about him coming home and inspecting the house and calling her a liar about cleaning. When she used to polish the door to try to get him to accept that she has cleaned. That's emotional abuse.

When he texted her saying he absolutely wasn't cheating then let her into his house when another woman was in his bed. That's emotional abuse, it is manipulative and involves gaslighting. It isn't "just" shagging around.

When she had fingerprint bruises around her neck. Surely you can see that is physical abuse?

In this situation then yes, the cheating was part of his abuse. But I don't think cheating is always abuse.
Original poster
deeedeee · 19/11/2021 10:20

Unbelievable that infidelity isn’t considered abuse!!!!!! Jeez victim blaming much! Especially insiduous serial overwhelming gaslighting infidelity as evidenced here.

OP posts:
Sn0tnose · 19/11/2021 08:10

@arcof

I read it. The physical abuse is obviously an issue. But the fact that he goes around lying to women and cheating on them isn't "abuse". How is it abuse? A man says he'll take you on holiday, you introduce him to your kids but yet hes also seeing someone else, and that's abuse? Don't get me wrong, he sounds vile, but I don't understand.
Did you miss the bit where he’d return from a weekend away and inspect everything to make sure she’d cleaned properly? And that she’d ended up spraying polish on the door so he’d smell it when he came in and didn’t accuse her of lying about cleaning?

Did you miss the bit where he gaslit his wife into thinking that she was paranoid and had trust issues?

Did you miss the bit where he introduced his daughter to another woman’s children as her new step sisters, knowing that he had no intention of that happening?

Abuse doesn’t just have to be physical, surely you understand this?

Snoopylunchbox · 19/11/2021 07:50

@3scape

Lies and lies and lies. There are honest men out there but why do so many have this "pity me" MO
Pathetic, isn't it? He also told me about his terrible childhood and how his mother had neglected him when he was a child. I assume that was all lies too. He even managed to squeeze a few tears out for that one.

He encouraged me to open up to him about my recent abusive relationship, and had the nerve to sit there shaking his head and looking sick while all the time doing the same - if not worse - to other women.

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 19/11/2021 07:45

Those saying it isn't abuse and he was just shagging around worry me.

When she takes about him coming home and inspecting the house and calling her a liar about cleaning. When she used to polish the door to try to get him to accept that she has cleaned. That's emotional abuse.

When he texted her saying he absolutely wasn't cheating then let her into his house when another woman was in his bed. That's emotional abuse, it is manipulative and involves gaslighting. It isn't "just" shagging around.

When she had fingerprint bruises around her neck. Surely you can see that is physical abuse?

Ducksareruiningmypatio · 19/11/2021 07:35

I saw them at a teeny gig once, they were good (but I'm sure they only played 2 songs I actually knew, I always thought they were a one hit wonder) but he came across as an arrogant arse that would rather have been anywhere else.
Obviously able to switch the charm on and off.

User5252727 · 19/11/2021 07:29

What an absolute bastard

HelloCanYouHearMe · 19/11/2021 07:16

He's a charmer alright

I went to talk to him after a gig and getting his attention, his first words to me were "What can I do for a pretty lady such as yourself"

BruiserWoods · 19/11/2021 07:04

@arcof

I read it. The physical abuse is obviously an issue. But the fact that he goes around lying to women and cheating on them isn't "abuse". How is it abuse? A man says he'll take you on holiday, you introduce him to your kids but yet hes also seeing someone else, and that's abuse? Don't get me wrong, he sounds vile, but I don't understand.
Coupled with "it destroys me when you dont trust me" types of texts, it's gaslighting definitely.
EachandEveryone · 19/11/2021 06:56

He used the fact that he is inna band as a way to get these women. I wonder if they were fans?

arcof · 19/11/2021 05:13

I read it. The physical abuse is obviously an issue. But the fact that he goes around lying to women and cheating on them isn't "abuse". How is it abuse? A man says he'll take you on holiday, you introduce him to your kids but yet hes also seeing someone else, and that's abuse? Don't get me wrong, he sounds vile, but I don't understand.

RobertaFlack · 19/11/2021 03:55

I guess charm and abusive behaviour can go together

EachandEveryone · 18/11/2021 23:54

That doesn’t surprise me.

ichifanny · 18/11/2021 23:48

I know someone who was involved with him during his first relationship with his sons mum , again met at a gig and he said his wife / girlfriend was a psycho etc . All his band mates are enablers who saw it all going on too .

thepeopleversuswork · 18/11/2021 23:32

@EachandEveryone

I wonder if anymore from that era will come out of the woodwork? Its a band thing the opportunities are endless from the women that work in the business to the fans that hang around afterwards? Vile behaviour.

I only thought they were one hit wonders as well. I think I saw them supporting Oasis at some point. Such egos.

Shagging around is absolutely routine for bands: any rock biography is full of this sort of thing.

But this is much worse than just shagging around: its highly calculated and manipulative and involving misleading children.

What a nasty piece of work.

BamberGascoine · 18/11/2021 23:28

I don’t understand the comments like “what a grim post”

I’m not trying to be facetious i just don’t grt what’s wrong with saying “I don’t know what they saw in him” isn’t the poster just saying his average looks doesn’t match with his ability to lure in all of these women?

CheshireSplat · 18/11/2021 23:14

Massive Bluetones fan here too. I've seen him a couple of times just pre covid and he was drinking far too much, bottle of whisky on stage.... I thought it was pathetic to be honest.

lovelychops · 18/11/2021 23:14

I have friends who repeatedly got off with other members of the bluetones whilst said members were in long term relationships... but not mark interestingly.
I think this awful behaviour is rife with bands and we have been conditioned to thinking that's 'just what happens with bands'

Underthestairsbears · 18/11/2021 22:59

I'm so disappointed. I've seen them lots and spoke to Mark a few times. I used to absolutely adore him when I was 19!
What an utter arsehole. I'm so sorry for Anna and the other women.