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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want my 19 year old moving to Canada alone?

585 replies

MiddayMass · 15/11/2021 02:19

She has 0 connections in Canada. She isn’t particularly academic and uni is her idea of hell but works in hospitality and thrives in that role. The restaurant she works at offered her a manager on duty promotion not long after she started because of how on the ball she is.

All her friends went off to uni in September and I think she’s feeling like it’s time to make a drastic change in her own life too. Which I understand. I thought maybe she’d move into a house share with other young people or something.

Today over dinner she revealed that Canada do a 2 year ‘Working Holiday’ visa for certain countries. You don’t need to be a professional or have a degree, you can go over and work in hospitality just fine. As long as you have somewhere to live, a couple of grand in the bank (she has savings) and health insurance you’re fine. She’s says she’s been looking into it and has already signed up with an agency and has paid fees to go and work on a ski resort this Winter with live-in accommodation. She’s insisted it’s all legit and that she has done all of her research.

To be honest, I smiled about it to her face but I’m scared shitless. Do such jobs actually exist? I’m worried it’s dodgy. She will have no connections in Canada. She insists that the agency has in-country support and that she’s in a Facebook group with other girls her own age who are going to the same town, and that they all plan to meet up once they are there etc. There’s even talk of some of them maybe getting a flat-share as she doesn’t want to be in the hotel accommodation for the full 2 years. She honestly doesn’t seem worried at all. I’m not sure why she chose Canada specifically. Apparently Europe wasn’t drastic enough, she’s not interested in Asia or Africa, Oceania is too far from home and she ‘wouldn’t be seen dead in the USA in its current state’ so she ended up with Canada.

DH isn’t happy either and says he’ll be worried about her, and has suggested that we try and talk her out of it. I don’t want to do that as she is an adult but I am terrified. How would you feel? I never really left my home town or travelled. At DD’s age I was pregnant with her brother and living in a flat 5 minutes away from my parents and so the idea of jetting off to another continent alone at that age is unthinkable to me. I’m not saying I’d rather she was pregnant at 19 living in a grotty flat, I just mean it’s all so foreign to me because I was in such a different situation at her age so I don’t know if my fear is rational or not.

OP posts:
araiwa · 15/11/2021 02:47

I did the same at 21

MinesAPintOfTea · 15/11/2021 02:34

Do you have the resources to get her home at short notice if things go wrong? If so, then remind yourself that she is only a day’s travel away.

And it’s not a fundamentally unsafe choice. She will not be in more danger than the next town over in the uk, and will have had a great adventure.

immersivereader · 15/11/2021 02:30

bunac.org/working-holidays/canada/work-canada

^^

It'll be this. Though to be fair she'd be better getting the visa herself then just applying on the IntraWest website. Bunac is expensive

Aquamarine1029 · 15/11/2021 02:30

I did something similar at 19 and so did my son. Excellent experience and a brilliant way to learn how to be self-sufficient. Don't stomp on her ambition and her natural desire to spread her wings. She can always come home if she's unhappy.

Tibbles988 · 15/11/2021 02:28

Jobs like that do exist. Canada is actually a great and safe choice as long as she has good health insurance. It sounds like a great experience to me.
Without qualifications it is unlikely she will be able to stay after the 2 years are up. Maybe she will come home and go to uni afterwards?
Check the agency yourself and read the reviews. There are lots of good ones.
I am very biased in this, I left on a gap year 8 years ago and haven't returned home yet and now have a house, a husband a little one and another one due next month... Probably not what you wanted to hear. I would have loved to have travelled to Canada but I was too old for the Visa's when I decided to look into it.

Minimal · 15/11/2021 02:26

She'll be fine. I went to Australia alone at that age. She will make friends there very quickly. And she'll be on good money if she's doing bar work in Canada.
Please don't discourage her. I think she will regret it if she doesn't go. She can come home if she hates it.

immersivereader · 15/11/2021 02:26

I did exactly what your DD is planning to do, BTW

Chenga · 15/11/2021 02:26

I think it would be prudent for you to do your own research on the agency she is signing up with and also the work permit/ visa situation but other than that, what’s the problem? Sounds like an absolutely fantastic opportunity. You’ll miss her and she will miss you but that’s not a reason for her not to go.

I speak as someone who left home at 18 and started living abroad aged 20, albeit in different circumstances to your daughter. Adventure is out there and it’s obviously what she wants. What would she do if she remained in the UK?

immersivereader · 15/11/2021 02:25

Yes such jobs do exist and she's right, she can get a working holiday visa as a Brit going to Canada.

Which ski resort? Whistler?

TheWayTheLightFalls · 15/11/2021 02:25

It sounds like a brilliant idea! She’s researched it (and you can verify what she’s found), there is work to be had, Canada is hardly the slums of Calcutta… why not?

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