To not want my 19 year old moving to Canada alone?

Canada, as with many former colonies (yes, British colonies too), has serious problems with the indigenous peoples. Most people, including politicians, live in the cities far away and can stick their heads in the sand. It is tragic (I have family in Canada who are native Americans, living on a reservation. They’ve known this pain too. I’m in Australia, we have a terrible history too. I’m also of British ancestry - it’s my country that did this!). There are huge issues that need to be addressed. But these issues are in many case because the people making the decisions never looked beyond their own backyard and made life changing policies for people about whom they knew nothing. Kids were taken away and shipped to British styled residential schools to ‘improve’ them. With tragic consequences because you can’t do that to people and just think it’s going to work out. Taking kids from their families and communities is never the solution. God the outrage anytime someone suggests a boarding school - adult ex pupils talk about their pain.

People are more aware of theses issues now and from travelling, people like OP’s daughter, who is from a community people rarely leave, can learn much more than just from documentaries or the internet. Maybe she’ll just meet happy rich people. It’s still a great experience being around new people. Maybe she’ll get to know people who introduce her to knew ways of seeing the world and she’ll end up an advocate for the plight of people grievously harmed by these practices. Who knows? Regardless she will meet so many people and learn from them. No where has a perfect history but more experience and knowledge we have of the world can only help.

Native children going missing was happening up to 1990s when native kids were going missing and then recently were found buried in schools. And still not much has been done to address that. It’s a little different to sending people away on ships what a 100 years ago. And by they way the built better lives in doing that. Many escaped poverty and they survived. Their families living in Australia and NZ today. These native kids lives were cut short. They were taken from their families and died mysteriously.

The last child migrant sailed from the UK to Australia in 1967 -- many of them were taken from single mothers, and told they were orphans, many of them used as forced labour on remote farms and at farm schools , separated from siblings, and subject to physical and sexual abuse. Some were also sent to Canada and what is now Zimbabwe.

The UK and Australian governments only issued official apologies for the mistreatment of the child migrants in 2009 and 2010. More than 130,000 children aged as young as three were sent.

It's not to minimise the treatment of First Nations people in Canada to point out that the UK is without ugly recent history like this.

Good for your DD on not following your path but living life on her own terms. Travelling broadens experiences and makes for a better rounded person imo. She’ll enjoy it. It’s the best time to do it while she has no kids or responsibilities.

Congratulations! It sounds like you've raised a wonderful daughter. I hope my child is confident enough to travel the world and work and live alone when he's that age. I did a similar thing to your daughter - moved to the other side of the world at 19, where I knew no one and had nowhere to live. I did it on my own, not through an agency, but such organisations did exist then and I'm not surprised they're still around now. I went on a 2 year working holiday visa and it was great.

I think you and your DH are so worried because, as you say, it's outside the realm of your experience at that age. Whereas, a lot of Aussies do the working holiday thing, so it's seen as quite normal.

Life is a risk anywhere. It sounds like you're daughter has done the research and she's clearly clued up enough to sort things out if anything doesn't quite go to plan. I think you would be doing her a massive disservice to talk her out of this. This is what you raised her for - to be a confident adult, capable of taking care of herself. That is what she is doing. Be proud; I would.

How fantastic. Your daughter sounds brilliant. Please just support her. Don't hold her back.

This is going to be brilliant, important she gets out and sees the world and doesn’t just get stuck in her old town for ever. I did a similar thing and it was bloody brilliant !

I know someone who has just come back from doing similar. They had a great time and it really helped them to mature.

I have been in Vancouver. It is very beautiful, also visited Whistler in summer.

That was to @Redrosesandsunsets

Forcible adoptions and shipping people to Australia … how long ago was that ?

Up to the second half of the 20th century. You don't sound very well informed regarding UK history.

I left for France on my 19th birthday, didn't know a sole and got on a coach at Dover

Methinks there's something fishy about this story....

Don't go over after a month. The whole purpose of a trip like this is to sort your life out for and by yourself. The last thing you need is your mum parachuting in to fuss and stop you focusing on your local connections and experiences and either taking away your growth by doing things for you, or making your life more difficult by criticising your choices and arrangements. Go after six months.

Whistler is awesome in Winter and Summer.

Have a look at www.whistler.com and see for yourself.

And book yourself a flight to visit a few months after she gets there. You'll have the trip of a lifetime.

In your shoes I'd book a trip for, say, a month after she lands. So you can see for yourself that she's ok and support as needed on any practical elements.

Make that 6 months - let her settle in!
It’s a great opportunity for her, and for you, too, op. I do think it would be a great idea for you and your dh to plan a visit while she’s in Canada. It might give you a taste for travel, and widen your dh’s horizons a bit!

She will have the time of her life! I left for France on my 19th birthday, didn't know a sole and got on a coach at Dover scared shitless but full of excitement & don't regret a single thing! All my friends went to uni but I like your daughter wasn't academic either and it just wasn't for me. Allow her to spread her wings, of course you will miss her but now is her time to find herself and her place in the world. Good luck to you all

Sounds like a great idea. Let her have her adventure!

I never really left my home town or travelled.

This is your problem. Don't project onto her.

Well done your daughter, what a fantastic experience for her. My children have been abroad for all of secondary school and two of them are abroad for third level. One of them was supposed to work in America last summer and that was unfortunately scuppered by Covid. Myself and my brothers and sisters all went off to work in America or Germany or France or Spain or the UK at that age. My brother was actually 17 in America the first time he worked there.

maybe you can travel with her and stay there the first few weeks to ensure everything is ok and she is settle.

At 19

Don't be ridiculous

@CSJobseeker actually I love cultural differences. And have travelled for that very experience. Many Brits however go to Canada because it’s a lot like the uk with the same language spoken etc. So my comment was more about that. It’s a very different nation. Forcible adoptions and shipping people to Australia … how long ago was that ?
Native children going missing was happening up to 1990s when native kids were going missing and then recently were found buried in schools. And still not much has been done to address that. It’s a little different to sending people away on ships what a 100 years ago. And by they way the built better lives in doing that. Many escaped poverty and they survived. Their families living in Australia and NZ today. These native kids lives were cut short. They were taken from their families and died mysteriously.
Also look up or google The highway of tears which still sees many native women still go missing on today. It still happens.

Totally understand your worry, and I'd feel the same. But I did a similar thing and it was great. Canada felt very safe, and the people are incredibly hospitable. Your DD will probably interact with a lot of fellow travelers and develop her own network. If it turns out to be awful, remember plans can always be changed and home is only ever a plane ride away!

In your shoes I'd book a trip for, say, a month after she lands. So you can see for yourself that she's ok and support as needed on any practical elements.

Bunac is perfectly legit, show your dh the link. Good for her getting away from an insular small town (not my words!) I applied for a job in Norway which mum wouldn’t let me take at 18. A mate took it, ended up marrying and staying there. I went to France instead. I would have done Bunac but had no skills at the time. It was what a lot of people at school did back in the day. She’ll have a brilliant time.

Don’t push your fears onto her it’s really annoying, she’s 19, lots of folks do similar work experiences, many people move abroad, just let her lead her own life and make her own mistakes

having a baby is a much bigger challenge than working abroad!

They're not mutually exclusive, you know! Many women travel, work abroad, and have kids.

All these people telling you not to worry wouldn't be breezy if it were their own teenager moving across the planet. They'd be shitting themselves too.

Yep. I’d be crapping myself. Same as my mother did when I went off to Africa on my own. But The difference is, I’d never try to dissuade my kids from doing this and I’d be behind them the whole way because it’s not about me and how I feel.