To not want my 19 year old moving to Canada alone?

She will be fine!
Take her to buy winter coat and help her pack!
Be excited for her

It s not Kazakhstan
It s Canada

Check she has health insurance

And plan a visit to see her there

What an amazing opportunity!!
And good for her doing her homework.
But understand your feelings too op.

Let her do it. If she doesn't, she'll only regret not taking the chance.

My son did this at just 19, best thing in the world. Of course I was worried but he flew on his own to Vancouver, got his working holiday visa sorted at the airport, found the hostel he was booked into, managed to open a bank account and get his social security number.
Had a job and staff accommodation lined up in Whistler. He went through a company called the working holiday club.
He made friends from around the world. Everyone is in the same boat, young, poor and looking for a good time. He Managed to shop, cook, wash clothes, go out and still get up at 5.30 am in the cold and dark to push ski lifts about.
I worried but he had a return flight home, an emergency credit card in his pocket.
His gap year was cut short due to CV and he is now at uni 2nd year but is so independent. It was the best thing he ever did.
Be proud of your daughter for wanting to do this.

[quote Redrosesandsunsets]@CSJobseeker actually I love cultural differences. And have travelled for that very experience. Many Brits however go to Canada because it’s a lot like the uk with the same language spoken etc. So my comment was more about that. It’s a very different nation. Forcible adoptions and shipping people to Australia … how long ago was that ?
Native children going missing was happening up to 1990s when native kids were going missing and then recently were found buried in schools. And still not much has been done to address that. It’s a little different to sending people away on ships what a 100 years ago. And by they way the built better lives in doing that. Many escaped poverty and they survived. Their families living in Australia and NZ today. These native kids lives were cut short. They were taken from their families and died mysteriously.
Also look up or google The highway of tears which still sees many native women still go missing on today. It still happens.[/quote]
Not that this isn't horrific; of course it is. But you seem weirdly hung up on this one aspect of Canada to the exclusion of any different/more positive things about it.

And those saying they or other parents would 'be shitting themselves' at the idea of their DCs doing this; some people, sure, but you can't possibly think this is a universal feeling? Many families actively bring up their children to expect to travel and explore.

I went to work in France as an au pair aged 17 (for total strangers; the pregnant (ill) mother was in hospital throughout so I had sole charge of 3 kids) Meant to be for 6 weeks during school hols. The baby arrived late and unwell, mother still in hospital with him so I was asked to stay on for another month. I did. Very late back at school, I was hauled in to head teachers office for a row. Armed with my new independence, maturity and self confidence I explained the situation in perfectly fluent French with my new and lovely Parisian accent. The HT's face was a picture. She stuttered "Well done" and that was it.

My kids went off to work at real jobs ,across the world alone at age 18 as soon as they left school. The experience, maturity and personal benefits of such an adventure are HUGE and lifelong and I thoroughly recommend it. She''ll have a great time in a safe civilised country.

Let her fly the nest. She's ready.

Nrtft

I think it's fantastic, I want my DDs to do things like this. I think the difference is I packed my bags at 19 and moved from my northern town to London then at 23 decided I needed a complete change if countries and bought a 1 way ticket to Australia, I never actually made it there though as I fell in love with New Zealand on the way and ended up staying there.

I had a friend who did similar to your DD, the only difference was she went to uni first and she did know others who had made the move to Canada. She worked in hospitality to pay her way. She was an avid snowboarder and did it so she could do lots of snowboarding.

I suppose the best thing you can do is do your own checking everything is ligit and make plans to visit her not long after she arrives to make sure she's settled.

I think she's very brave and you should be proud she's confident enough to do something like this on her own.

Sounds as if she has thought things through, btw, but you could also give her the tip of working out in advance where she can quickly get a mobile phone SIM card with a cheap data package, e.g. as soon as she gets off the airport bus. And/or possibly a cheap international package on her normal card for the first week.

Also make sure she has your number written down somewhere in case the phone is stolen/broken. My son's phone fell in a waterfall and he lost all his numbers. (He did manage to sort that out on his own too, but it was a bit of a PITA!)

I'm Irish & it's always been really common for Irish kids to head off for a year doing bar work or whatever pre or post-uni. Back in my yoof they all went to Australia so Canada actually feels pretty 'near' .

It sounds like a great opportunity. My sister did something similar in the 1970s when she was even younger (Germany rather than Canada though) and had a great time.

Yes, you will worry about her. But you'd worry about her wherever she was!

I left home at 19 and lived in a different continent and different countries on my own until I met my husband.
Invaluable experience

Start saving now, OP!

Canada would be a lovely place to go for a holiday and if you wait until she's been there a year or so you will have your own personal local to show you around. If your DH won't go, go alone.

And you might feel happier with a bit of money tucked away just in case a rescue operation is necessary. (Bitter experience, but not related to Canada)

Tbh, I think the husband's attitude will just guarantee that if/when she does come back, she will never return to that tiny little town. Because she's seen that life is bigger than what is on offer there.

Your husband's attitude will probably not only make her want to go more but also might have the terrible consequence that if she tries it and decides she doesn't like it or wants to come home for some reason, she might not because she doesn't want a "I told you so" lecture from him.

You had a baby at 19 - that's much more of a big scary thing to do than moving abroad!

@Redrosesandsunsets

You haven't quite got it right. Canada has a terrible past when it comes to Indigenous people including colonization and efforts to strip Indigenous people of their rights and culture. One of those ways was through residential schools that ran from the mid 1800s to the mid 1900s. The schools were abusive and mistreated the students but the majority of kids who died there died from communicable diseases and other epidemics (1912) - likely partly due to poor medical care. Most of the residential schools closed in the 1960s. A few remained open later and were taken over by Indigenous bands and attendance was voluntary. No children were going missing , everyone knew that children had died over the past century at the schools - it just wasn't talked about for a long time

A couple decades ago, efforts started to try to find out how many children had died at the schools and to right some of the wrongs. Most of the graves being found (using technology now) are in the school cemeteries and they are both those of the children who died and school staff. The Truth and Reconciliation Commission started in 2007 and delivered their final report in 2015 with Calls to Action - some related to residential schools and so a great deal of federal funding has gone towards this in recent years.

That's not to say I don't agree with the point re: exploring though. The reason I feel qualified to comment on the quality of the mountaineering in the UK is precisely because I have climbed all over the world.

For a start, we don’t have ski resorts and amazing mountains in the UK (sorry Aviemore, but you know you don’t compare).

If you think Aviemore is the pinnacle of the UK's mountain and ski offering, I'm afraid you're not really in a position to comment about whether the UK has amazing mountains!

I have climbed/mountaineered all over the world, and all the climbers I know would say the UK has amazing mountains. Height isn't everything - we have plenty of very technical climbing on big cliffs to go at.

Skiing is a different beast - away from the (not-great) lift-served areas like Aviemore, Scotland has a lot of amazing steep off-piste skiing. However, the temperamental conditions mean it's much less of a sure bet than the Alps or other higher altitude areas.

Is that really the future you wanted for her?...Your description of your DH's attitude to this is awful tbh. Poor girl, with her dad guilt tripping her for wanting to go out into the world and live her life. A dad who thinks she should settle for a small life just because he did.

Quite, and I feel rather sorry for your daughter. I would say "Imagine having a parent who was happy with their small world and resented you wanting more from life" but actually I don't need to imagine it. My parents were of the view of "Why would you bother?" for everything. They'd got a set up they wanted - fair play to them, if it made them happy etc etc - but they wanted to control our lives too and wanted us to want the same things.

Stultifying and suffocating. I can see why your daughter would want to spread her wings and fly away.

OP, your DH is being ridiculous, and this is probably the most ridiculous part:

“ We’re lucky to live in the U.K. and have everything we need, why would you bother going somewhere else?”

For a start, we don’t have ski resorts and amazing mountains in the UK (sorry Aviemore, but you know you don’t compare).

The blinkered approach is awful and I reckon it stems from both insecurity and jealousy - he didn’t have the opportunity so she can’t either. Thinking that someone wanting something different means they think they’re better, rather than just wanting to explore the world outside their tiny area of the planet. Putting someone down for their ambitions because your terrified they won’t come back, or perhaps worse, they’ll come back and tell you about all the amazing stuff they’ve done which you didn’t do.

If he doesn’t support her he’ll lose her. And if he doesn’t think about being positive and interested rather than scathing and belittling when she does come back and tell you about her adventures, he’ll lose her then.

Be proud of your wonderful adventurous motivated daughter!!

Well done to your daughter for broadening her horizons and having the courage to make big steps forward to improve her life experiences. It will be an amazing opportunity for her.

I did the same but I was slightly younger and this was 20 years ago. Found a job in Asia, told my parents what I had researched and off I went with my savings. Best thing I’ve ever done for my own maturity and development.

Your DH discouraging will probably make her want to go even more. Do your own private research to make you both feel a bit better about what she’s doing and where. And then let her go

Sorry, this should have read has serious problems with the treatment indigenous peoples.