‘Never get another animal’ - AIBU?

*Really don't get why the op is getting a hard time

Because she’s dumped two pets for inexcusable reasons, and has started a thread looking for validation that she’s special, and her reasons for abandoning animals don’t mean that she shouldn’t be trusted with pets again.*

Nice selective quoting of my post there. I said "and RickJames isn't when they both did the same thing". Clearly you are incapable of a proper debate.

There seem to be two camps in the horse world about this. I'm not saying you are wrong, just the selling on bit wasn't for our family, even the ones with children. Sadly I lost my horse in an accident and the trauma put me off having another horse of my own.

It took me a long time to recover enough to have DDog who was already a multiple house rehome by the time he came to me, poor little love.
It would be over my dead body that he will ever be rehomed again tbh.

I would sell my possessions, beg, borrow or steal to keep him with me but if the worst happened I'd find someone to take him for a short while and I would be visiting so much they'd be sick of me!

He'll be with me till he dies, or I do if I can help it.

This might be a bit controversial to say but I think it’s always a choice… for example the accident you had that led to you not being able to care for your dog- I don’t know a great deal obviously apart from the info in your post but a few things I’d have done instead of rehoming- a paid dog Walker, family/friends, a temporary foster family through a charity for example. The rehoming for me is absolute last last resort. I think the key is having enough stability that you can find a way through emergencies- eg using savings to pay for temporary care or unseen circumstance. I think if you’ve rehomed twice in 8 years, IMO it’s too much and you aren’t stable enough for a pet. Its expensive to be ‘stable at all costs’ but to be that’s part of the commitment when I take on a pet. Xo

The guilt at knowing an animal who loved me unconditionally would then be upset at why they were suddenly taken from their home

Hmm, I’d say it took my dog about 10 minutes to decide that the unfamiliar emergency dog sitter was her Best Friend Ever.

Couple of sausages, and her heartache was completely assuaged.

You were not homeless if you were waiting to move into the house that you’d bought! That is crap, whatever you tell yourself
And as for rehoming your dog in the circumstances you describe - that’s exactly why you shouldn’t get another animal: you appear to have absolutely no idea what commitment means.

I find it really interesting that if my circumstances change and my cat goes to live with my mother, that’s regarded as rehoming and awful and I should never get another cat because I didn’t treat it as the equivalent of adopting out my human child.

If my children (entirely predictably when I got the pony) outgrow their pony after a few years, it’s completely normal for me to sell that pony to another family for money. If it’s a nice quiet pony quite possibly a lot of money. No one would call it “rehoming” and no one would say I shouldn’t get my children a bigger pony.

I don’t get it. I’ve never quite understood which animals I’m supposed to be sentimental about and why it’s ok to eat a regular farm pig, but if I kept the pig as a pet and rehomed it I’d be awful. Do people think animals understand the idea of a human making a commitment to them?

Really don't get why the op is getting a hard time

Because she’s dumped two pets for inexcusable reasons, and has started a thread looking for validation that she’s special, and her reasons for abandoning animals don’t mean that she shouldn’t be trusted with pets again.

@IWantT0BreakFree totally agree. I didn’t even want to get started on the moral aspect of owing an African grey

It would break my heart to rehome my dog and I would exhaust every avenue before doing so.

The guilt at knowing an animal who loved me unconditionally would then be upset at why they were suddenly taken from their home and owner would actually stop me from getting another pet.

It is clear though that other people including the OP don't feel the same.

Buying parrots that have been bred to live in a cage and "fly" around your house for 60 years is despicably cruel. I hope it is illegal to keep birds, especially large birds, as domestic pets one day.

Really don't get why the op is getting a hard time but RickJames isn't... They've both done the exact same thing. Both rehomed an animal that they could have kept. Im not judging your reasons for rehoming, or the way you went about it. It's none of my business. I don't care particularly. In fact, i totally agree with this:

Sometimes rehoming can genuinely be about something being a better fit for the animal. I actually said exactly that up thread.

It sounds like the dog ended up in a great home so i have no idea why you think I'm pissing all over it. What I'm objecting to is that you then go on to judge people that rehome their pets when you did the exact same thing. So don't then sit in judgement of other people who do what you did.

*I admit that as a 20 something I maybe didn't plan for all the possibilities (not married, not home owner) when I got my dog but I had the best of intentions...

But folks that get a cute puppy and then ditch it because they can't cope DO piss me off. *

Anyone looking at you could have said the exact same. Would you like it if someone said you ditched your dog because you didn't think it through and couldn't cope? How do you know those people who got a puppy didn't also get it with the best of intentions?

I would have thought your experience would have shown you that actually rehoming a dog can be a good thing. And that judging other people for doing exactly what you did is wrong. THATS my point, not how you went about doing it. You're not more noble or better than anyone else because you feel you had better reasons than the next person. The end result is still a rehomed dog. AND THAT'S FINE!!!

And I've never got rid of a pet, but if someone else did, i wouldn't judge them for it. Id assume if they are treating the animal like a throwaway object then the animal is better off out of it anyway. In any event, it's none of my business. I don't have the right to judge them. It's you judging other people for doing what you have done yourself i have a problem with. That's it.

The issue is that lots of the pets in rehoming centres are older pets, those who have an illness which is expensive to treat or whose lack of appropriate training had made them problematic in some way. Though now we are into the post-lockdown situation when too many idiots have got a puppy without any thoughts if training/what they are going to do when/if they had to go back to work, there are a lot of younger animals too.

There are some genuinely unavoidable situations, of course- such as having a pet and then having a child who is severely allergic (there is simply no way of knowing in advance), or a fit and healthy person becoming permanently incapacitated (a friend of mine’s very fit father had a massive stroke in his early 60’s and ended up in 24 hour care, for example). Truthfully, though, many, many situations are actually all down lack of proper consideration as to whether a pet is genuinely compatible with your lifestyle and personal circumstances. Or whether you can afford them- pets can be expensive so you need to consider that. Or, in some cases, because rehoming is easier than making an alternative arrangements for the short-to-medium term. Most people will paint these situations as “unpredictable” or “unavoidable”. They aren’t- well, the immediate situation might not be avoidable or directly predictable- but the fact that the owner had got the pet without proper consideration/preparation/finances etc did place them at risk of this outcome.

If you have an unstable lifestyle/have had to rehome several pets already, then I personally think that you need to make very careful consideration as to whether you are likely to have another sudden change in circumstances, and do you have appropriate back up funds that make get you through a short-term issue.

As said upthread, in respect of the cat I wouldn’t have bought a house that didn’t suit mine and the cats needs. The 6 week delay would have been a dealbreaker and I’d have pulled out rather than rehome my cat.

The dog is trickier, but I’m surprised you couldn’t find a keen dog walker / local student to help you out for a few weeks! If you have such a lack of contingency you shouldn’t have pets.

You did what you thought was best in those circumstances.
I would have done different, but as long as you can stand by those decisions without faltering, then more power to you.

The thing is animal re homing centres are fit to burst because inevitably people's circumstances change.
Some pets are often re homed more than once, and although the rehoming centres do their best the environment is incredibly stressful, leaving the animals insecure.
Animals do really need a forever home, sadly some are passed from pillar to post, because circumstances change.

I adopted two 14 year old black cats and the centre were absolutely thrilled because their chances of adoption were quite poor. My second pair of twelve year olds were also hard to place until we chose them.

Both sets of previous owners were going into homes themselves. THEY had no choice.

In fact, I volunteered in a cat shelter, and we would have supported an owner to keep their cat in your circumstances.

If I had had to rehome two pets I wouldn’t be getting more.

Depends entirely on the circumstances. if someone cannot meet the needs of a pet they shouldn't have one.
But circumstances change all the time so if someone got back on their feet why wouldn't they get another pet? It doesn't matter what randoms on the internet say anyway.

It definitely deoends on the circumstances of giving the animal up.

You might not like hearing it OP but it does sound like you didn't try particularly hard to find a solution with your cat and that you gave it up a bit too easily.

@Feelslikealot

Yes, like I said, I could have buggered on with her in a flat but when there's someone who loves her in a country house who wants her, why not pass her on? It was about her welfare too. Sometimes rehoming can genuinely be about something being a better fit for the animal. Honestly, how can you piss all over a successful rehoming? I didn't try to flog her on gumtree ffs. She was absolutely beautiful, really a rar-ish status breed, but that was exactly what I didn't want. I just wanted her to be loved and my mum wanted her. My vet even said to me he wanted her and that was when she was presumed to be with me forever. I wanted the best for her and when I couldn't provide that, my mum stepped in happily.

How do you feel about in-family fostering? Would you berate a troubled mother in such a way?

I dont know. I know a couple of people who are fundamentally too selfish for pet ownership yet have repeatedly got animals and had to rehome. I can't see how they will ever change, they continually underestimate the sacrifices required.