Benefits of having only 1 child?

Thank you so much for your response and a huge congrats on your daughter!! Definitely things to consider ☺️

Hi @Glitter0 wow, how strange.. you messaged this yesterday which was my (new) daughter's 1st birthday!

So yes.. we did have a second. I sort of left it up to fate. Said we'd try for 6 months and if nothing, we'd stick with one. I got pregnant in month 5.

No regrets, she is wonderful, a great buddy for my 4 year old (they are besotted with each other) and we've survived (for the most part, the sleep deprivation etc!)

However, I do think if I'd stuck with one, we would still be very happy and having a lovely time. We are currently restricted by naps and doing activities that a 1 year old can enjoy too. Whereas if it was just the 4 year old we'd be having many more full days out!

There are positives and negatives for both options, and trusting your gut is the best thing to do (easier said than done!)

@TheOneTed I’m in your position now and wondered if you ever had another or are yoi feeling content now with your only?

We have only child, I couldn't imagine it any other way now.
I like that he's him not 'The kids'. We are a family of 3, not us and them.
Holidays and days out are simple as just him and us, not several different ages to accommodate.
After school clubs don't involve a complicated schedule of pick up and drop offs.

No sibling squabbling!

I'm an only and loved it.
Parents were very interactive with me.
I did loads of activities that parents couldn't have afford with more than one.
Brilliant bond with both parents as we were a tight trio.
Love being alone and reading.
Enjoy my own company.

I can't really add anything that hasn't already been said on here so I'm just another to reiterate really. I always wanted two but my own health saw to that. I feel so blessed to have my one ds and he is the absolute best. He's 9 now and we have the best time, we share loads of interests and I just have so much fun with him and dh. He has jobs he does around the house so we all help each other out and it works so nicely.

The other benefits of course are being bale to just focus on one, we went to Disneyland Paris a few years ago and if I'd had that second kid we couldn't have done it, or would have been lugging a baby and a pushchair around and it just wouldn't have been fun. Financially better off as we only have one to manage, he can do whatever clubs and activities he likes as we don't have anyone else's schedule to work around. He's matured quicker than other kids his age so is never any trouble. We have no problem taking him out to nice restaurants which I know we wouldn't be able to if we also had another. Eurgh to going back to nappies and constant exhaustion. Once you're out of a crap phase that's it, you don't have to be up against it again when the next one goes through it. Wouldn't change it for the world.

Thank you for this OP as I love reading other reasons to why it's amazing to have one! Nobody could ever trump my daughter

You will probably never see how foul your child truly is if you only have one, as they save their foullest behaviour for their siblings.

I found everything a lot easier with only one (my eldest was an only for six years). But if you really long for another, there seems no harm in leaving it a bit longer?

Not read the whole thread so this may have been said already but as they get older & get invited for sleepovers you have a free night without having to find someone to have the other child

The ‘non-sharing’ stereotype is just that. Never seen it personally, and think it’s a bit of a lazy trope tbh. Along with ‘only-lonely’ and general disparaging only child = weirdo opinions.

With one child; you’re a parent. With two; you’re a referee.

I speak from experience! 😂

A friend of mine has 2 siblings, all in their 50s, no DC amongst them, so having more children doesn't guarantee grandchildren.

We have an only. It is great

Time, money, flexibility, focus....
Time: to try more activities; to read with them individually; one to one time; relationship time; time to chill and explore things with them
More money spent on activities, schooling, holidays etc
Flexibility - easier to say 'yes' for impromptu sleepover and playdates; don't need to buy a bigger car/ can take more 'things' on holidays in the car; they fit into your life, not you into theirs (although its a balance of both really!)
Focus - more focus on their individual needs; school requirements/ activities etc; on your own work, life etc

I love having an only DC. He is 20 now & I am so happy that we have managed to raise a confident, outgoing young person. He has never struggled to make friends, he is much more confident than many youngsters with siblings I know, perhaps because he's never had 'ready made' playmates he's always been able to make the effort to join clubs etc. He's just moved miles away for a new job, knows no one but has immediately joined two or three different clubs (he researched opportunities before he even left home).

I agree with all the other reasons people have made but also for me it would have been hard to find the time/energy to emotionally support more than one DC ... I have found parenting quite challenging and the thought of more than one DC to support is quite scary. Just things like finding enough time to help with homework, read a bedtime story etc.

And the one thing my DS always says when he comes home 'it's always so calm and peaceful here' . Living in a busy, noisy household would just not suit me.

I have a 7 year old DS and I love only having him.

No trying to juggle different children's needs/hobbies, enough money to spend on him and have a rainy day pot, plenty of one to one time, I can give lots of support with homework. If we wanted to, we could send him to private school for secondary.

He wasn't an easy baby but I just love the stage we are at. We can enjoy a meal out with him, he loves our yearly trip to the lakes and doing long walks.

Our house is peaceful, no sibling fighting.

I am one of 3 and actually very close to my brother, less so to my sister but of course, I love her. It may just have been our situation but I do feel there was very limited time and attention when I was a child. Funds were often limited and with 3 kids, some things were just not possible.

I wouldn't change having one for anything

We have a three year old DD and aren't having any more for a variety of reasons. I had a very bad pregnancy, have birth injuries and really didn't enjoy the baby years but also

• We aren't rich by any means but I am able to buy her things as and when I want. If we had another we'd have to budget.
• We want to help her with things such a house deposit when she's older and help her out lots with her own kids if she has any
• I always (and still do) feel that my brother was the favourite and I don't want her to feel that way
• She'll get more one on one attention from us both and we can go on family days out without having to think about bringing a pram along
• We have more space in the house only having one child and we are able to keep hamsters in large enclosures in the spare room which she loves

Less drama in the house. Some siblings argue a lot 🤣

More time and more money. I have a short temper which I work hard on to control but if I had more than one child to parent I'm worried I'd easily become a shouty/angry mum.

I also think that when people say how lonely they were as onlies they are from a different generation and parenting trends now are very different. An older friend of mine who warns me a lot about how lonely she was had a highly anxious mother who never let her doing any after school clubs, or play out on the street or go out with friends, so it's not wonder she was lonely! Not long ago there was still the idea that children were expected to fit in to their parents world and now things are so much more child focused.

Agree also about sharing....it's a bit of an only child trope that I haven't seen much in real life. DD has several only child friends and they have never had to squabble over their toys, so very often see no reason not to share them.

I couldnt afford more than one as a single parent. Childcare was too much.
He's 40 now and very happy being the only one, I've been able to help him get him a house, he has never wanted a brother or sister and has loads of friends.
He's got younger cousins for his old age. And of course he will inherit both mine and his fathers money so has a retirement fund.

I've got one child. He gets the best me and I can put in the extra effort/attention/time/money as he's an only. This is probably more a me thing as I don't think I am a naturally motherly person.

We've travelled extensively with dd too, both long and short haul and it's fantastic.