To really strongly dislike my autistic child

@Cheesepuff1

Do you have an ASD child? They are not easy! We all have moments when we dislike our children. I love my eldest child with ASD so much but the daily meltdowns are draining, they take away my energy and keep me demotivated. We are human-not a machine.

Op, I have an dc with asd. It’s hard, really hard. Go back to the GP and ask if they can make any referrals while you wait for ss. To anyone and everyone.
It won’t always be this hard. Good luck.

Some horrible and utterly clueless comments on here. Just because the op has an autistic child, is it beyond the realms of possibility that she may just want to parent a normal child? Why shouldn't she want to bring another baby into the world?

And people thinking they know how her child thinks, and what he'd like and wouldn't like. Not all autistic people are the same, there's no one size fits all.

Op, you sound overwhelmed. I get it. You need to try and find some support. I'd have a discussion with the school senco, camhs, GP, ot, social services, anyone who will listen. I know it's tough and I've no idea what the answer is, but you need to look after yourself too, and you can't do that without other people. I wonder if there's some respite care available in the short term. Perhaps a foster placement to give you a break?

I hope you can find something that works for you and your son.

[quote Mombie2021]@pelosi it’s obvious from her post that her child isn’t coping with being carted off and days out and experiences, this needs pointing out.[/quote]
This can be done tactfully and constructively.

Your posts sound hostile and don’t sound like they’re intended to help- merely to show off you superior parenting skills. The OP clearly loves her son but is exhausted and at the end of her tether.

My kids aren’t autistic and I’ve had moments like OP describes when I’ve struggled to cope. Many of us have.

It’s tough being a parent and think we’ve all had moments when we’ve questioned why we got into this situation

their

[quote esloquehay]@pelosi, well I'm not into posting #bekind and, yes, I did feel it necessary to post, otherwise I wouldn't have gone to the effort of posting.[/quote]
Thankfully you’ve been deleted.

So sorry you have had some really unpleasant cutting remarks on here .
please do try to get some support .❤💐

Also think about what is attracting him to the places he wants to go to. There may be things he wants but also things he can't stand in the same place. He's only little so he can't work this out for himself.

For instance my ds loves restaurants and cinemas but doesn't like being around other people. Just them moving about bakes his noodle.

What are some of the places he wants to go to?

Take no heed of the first few responses. Clearly the posters lack any kind of empathy. It’s ok for them and they’re NT children, so who are they to judge. The ones that have children with disabilities, good for them if they find it straightforward.

You take care and you’re not wrong to feel overwhelmed.

@pelosi, well I'm not into posting #bekind and, yes, I did feel it necessary to post, otherwise I wouldn't have gone to the effort of posting.

If he wants to go to outings make them as short and structured as possible. Make sure that he's not hungry, or tired. And accept that even though he might want to go he might not cope with actually being there once he's there. Try to balance days which are difficult like that (although they might be fine they are difficult as well for him obviously) with days or lower stimulation. School can be very stimulating, so maybe plan a trip for a Sunday morning so he has Saturday to decompress from school, and Sunday afternoon to decompress from the outing. Or Saturday afternoon so Saturday morning to decompress and Sunday to IYSWIM.

Could you look at contacting the council for reapite care? He could go into care permanently as a last resort

My friend has an autistic child who was very challenging at that age. It does get better OP. He’s now such a lovey young man.

Get as much support for him and yourself as you can.

Also, you are pregnant and must be exhausted! Just try to rest and take it easy whenever you can. Maybe look into whether you can get some extra help (holiday club etc) for when the baby comes.

I'm so sorry for the horrible responses you have had, having a child with sen is fucking hard work, doesn't mean you don't love your child, it sounds like you have been left high and dry by healthcare professionals that should have signposted you to the help that you and your son need. Keep pushing your gp for an urgent referral, or even ring the clinic your self, also speak to the gp to see if you can get support for your self / mental health / carers support. Look at local groups with other parents that can help you learn and navigate a way forward.
Respite care a day/ week could be just what is need so you can recharge and start a fresh and move forward and learn with your son on how to manage day to day life xx

I really hope you find the help and support you need

I don’t want to be another one to say how unreasonable you are but to me it sounds like you are trying to push a ‘normal’ childhood onto your son and sorry but it just won’t happen.

What I think you need to do is spend some time indoors with him and really learn from him what he likes and dislikes, any cues he may give to behaving a certain way and learn to incorporate yourself into his life not him into yours.

Being autistic does mean that they have to have things how they like it, I’m afraid, and if you continue trying to push things onto him you can continue to expect his behaviour to escalate. Just let him guide you and be more relaxed about how you parent him because he is not a ‘normal’ child, he is different and that is ok.

Was that necessary

Yep.

Mombie2021 perhaps you could extend some of the empathy you feel for OP's child to OP herself? She's clearly really struggling. If you genuinely feel for her child, why not try to help her - and so help him too - instead of kicking her while she's very obviously at rock bottom?

I really understand that this is incredibly hard work and you must be exhausted.

However I did read this I take him on so many trips out and nice experiences and it’s never enough for him and wondered maybe if it is too much for him and life might be easier and less tiring for you all if you just did less?

Christ some of the replies on here are shocking, the op is clearly massively struggling and dealing with pregnancy hormones do give her a break and some understanding.

Op I'm sorry some people are being so nasty, I can't pretend to understand from a parenting point of view but my friends son has autism and it's hell for her 6 days out of 7. She broke down a few weeks ago after a couple of drinks and said that if she could turn back time she would remain childless 🙁

Sending hugs