Partner constantly breaks things I've bought

Why are you buying everything for your joint house?

Also to add my money's on her binning him anyway.. seeing as he didn't buy any of the stuff. But idk if it's because OP went and bought them first - or that he didn't care?
DP got given tons of fancy kitchen stuff etc by his family so he owns that, also most of the large furniture is his because he had them already. It's not like I waited for him to furnish an empty house.

In any case care towards items is a fundamental incompatibility and can get very annoying especially when OP buys quality items and clearly values them.

I'm clumsy and uncoordinated so it's not unusual I drop stuff or bump into stuff/ get burnt.

But it's mostly my stuff (and myself) that gets damaged as it's what I use most often... if it's mostly your stuff then he either doesn't respect or he's being malicious.

The fact that he did give her money for the ottoman - and apologised 20 mins later means that he KNOWS he's wrong, it's just that sorry sounds a bit empty when the same thing happens over and over again and it becomes hard to know what to say.

He should definitely replace things ASAP but if he can't help breaking things then he shouldn't be around expensive, high quality stuff. OP has to either compromise and get HIM to buy cheap stuff (in addition to replacing hers) or accept that they are incompatible
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Of course he could also be just careless and a twat in which case she should bin him anyway.

I broke a favourite lasagne dish that I've had for years. Total accident, while using it and other things properly.

That is completely different to it getting broken by someone misusing it.

I think you need to sit down with him and say

1. don;t use anything in this house for something outside its actual use.
2. you pay to replace the things you brake. You don;t have to go shopping, but you hand over the cash within a day or two. This is so that you realise the cost of your misuse.
3. apologise, even if an accident. apologise.

If he thinks you are unreasonable, that is your answer. You 9and your stuff) is less important than him and his stuff. Get out.

Its like I'm constantly throwing money away
Im appalled he isnt paying for everything he breaks. If say first, that youve lost far too many things to continue like this. Apologies dont actually replace things. Whatever he breaks he replaces. Without exception. And ensure he does.

Or, admit that you dont have the same values and theres no possibility of having a happy future with a man who thinks everything in the house is your responsibility to buy and look after. Thats a bad sign for any sort of future where children are involved. Theyll be you responsibility to house and clothe. He wont buy anything and has no respect for your things. Do you really want that?

Life is far to short to put up with a twat that won't say sorry. You are posting about broken things, but I bet anything he's slow to apologise for everything and anything

Get rid. He won’t change and he is making you unhappy.

I'd be getting my rid he clearly has no respect for you or your things

Could he be dyspraxic?

Being clumsy/careless can be a symptom of ADHD ; because of issues with working memory and attention.

Can we stop trying to diagnose him and just accept he's an unapologetic twat?

Also to add I'm not trying to diagnose anyone here or make any excuses. Just that the word 'careless' implies that people don't really care enough to pay attention. I cared very much about all of the stuff I've broken/lost but I wasn't capable of doing so...

Tell him to stop beating himself up and just replace it. It's the attitude that I couldn't be dealing with, but that's just me.

Once being diagnosed (as an adult) I've implemented measures to work around it but as a child I was always getting told off for being careless and clumsy to the point where I took twice as long to do anything because I had to think carefully about it. Of course I got told off for that too - so I couldn't win either way...

Relax. He's not doing it deliberately

Ah ok, if you haven’t it may be worth looking up the past thread it was so similar you may find it interesting

The person I live with is like this. She breaks and loses tons of her own possessions. She thinks it’s bad luck, but in my opinion it is carelessness.

She’s broken several of my things and several shared things. The first few times I believed her excuses (“the blind just fell down” / “your mug randomly broke, no idea how”).

It’s annoying and there’s no solution. I take comfort in the fact that she has broken so many of her things which she is genuinely gutted and mystified by.

It shows they are careless and clumsy, it’s not malicious.

I could be your husband. I am so clumsy. I really wish I wasn't but I am. Yesterday I went to grab a box of batteries off the bannister as I thought they would get knocked off... I knocked them off trying to get hold of them.

I am always breaking things and chipping things. My husband gets so wound up with me.

Clumsy is one thing but the refusal to apologise / repair speaks volumes.

He sounds like a prick and a waste of oxygen. You can do better than this, OP.

Find someone better, who shares your values, before you waste any more time on this wanker.

My ex broke a lot of my things. It always seemed 'accidental' but it was all stuff that meant a lot to me. I eventually realised it was a form of abuse. Some guys do this in a passive-aggressive way due to their resentment. I earned more, was far better educated, and came from a higher socio-economic class. I eventually discovered it was more and more deliberate, starting out as being careless with my things but then, I found stuff broken that could not have happened accidentally. Your partner may not be in the extreme category but I would not rule out some form passive-agressive destruction. I would get rid of him unless he improves and replaces stuff like for like or better.

[quote SpotlessMind88]@Bluetrews25 HAHAHA i love this comment i could do this with his playstation. I bought it for him ages ago, but accidents happen lol[/quote]
It would be so unfortunate if his beloved PS got broken wouldn't it...ooops! 😉😈 Seriously though, I'd be very tempted to "accidentally" break it but, saying that, if I felt like doing that the relationship is in a very bad place and better to end it.

I’m clumsy and can’t help it, when I’m paranoid about it, it makes the clumsiness worse, good job my DH puts up with me 😂 I couldn’t get worked up about glasses or actual things that break easy, after all they are just stuff and easy to replace.

I’d say that if it annoys you that much that you should split up because it will continue to annoy you to the point you resent him, obviously you aren’t best matched.

Maybe it's not deliberate but he didn't care enough about your feelings to be careful. How is he breaking wine glasses if he doesn't drink? Why is he using chef knives to chop ice? He doesn't give a fuck. And why should he? They just arrive, he doesn't have to pay for them, they have no meaning for him, he does not care.
He does not care.

I feel like i should have a cupboard that i put all my things in and lock them away from him

Wrong way round. Leave your things out and put him in the cupboard.

So - he’s not broken the PlayStation you bought him yet? Interesting…