Male midwives - aibu

Of course the ops niece must ask for what she feels most comfortable with but bloody hell, a male midwife does not automatically make him a paedo 🤦‍♀️

If it's your first child or you strongly dont want a Male midwife then it's fine to say so.

I must admit that I wouldnt feel comfortable with it either. But as I have given birth four times now I'm more open minded and I'm happy to have students delivering my babies. Students seem to be very understanding and empathetic which is quite calming. Males I dont know as they have only been giving epidurals or paediatric doctors when things are going wrong.

I had a lot of complications and treatment at a FMC, all the consultants were male. The midwives were all female. The disparity was very evident.

When it comes down to it I'd take whoever was available and able to healthily deliver my children but yes, she should be able to have a preference.

If course she's allowed to choose who to consent to touching her when she's having her baby.

I'm.sure she's well aware that if things happen.outsode her control and an enemergency developes then things might change ajd they will deal with that if it comes up.

The idea that she shouldn't have a say at all even when things go right just because they may go wrong is the kind of bullshit attitude that leads to women being infantalised or not listened to in heakthcare.

It will be ignored, like everything else on a birthplan. I remember handing my birthplan to the midwife when about to give birth, who simply laughed and tossed it aside.

Absolutely her choice. I would have refused a male midwife although the issue never came up for me. Honestly, I'd question a man's motivation for becoming a midwife. I find it odd.

Not unreasonable at all and I've done the same. I was allocated a male consultant and I rang and changed to a female with no worries. I had a male midwife and Dr attend me but I asked for a female and again there was no issues. I think they understand that pregnancy is a vulnerable time and some women aren't comfortable with male hcp. Weirdly though my gp is a man but he has been my gp for over a decade so I'm very comfortable with him.

I had a male midwife for the birth of my first child who was premature. He was absolutely vile, totally unsympathetic and constantly made inappropriate comments. I felt extremely vulnerable. I was traumatised for many years and later discovered that he had been struck off. I have a big age gap between my children because of this.

I don't think it's entirely fair to compare midwives and doctors and say that any woman who is happy with male doctors but not male midwives must be sexist and hypocritical. They are completely different roles. When I was giving birth I had doctors (I think of both sexes - I can hardly remember) in a couple of times to give examinations, and like a previous PP practically a whole orchestra in the room at the very end preparing for medical emergency. But it was the midwife (or midwives, given that they changed shift a couple of times) who stayed with me for almost 21 hours of labour while I was stark naked, beyond exhausted, and feeling phenomenally vulnerable. Quick, necessary examinations by men were OK - but I would not personally have wanted a man doing the emotional-support role for 21 hours in that situation, no.

Whoops ^

Pregnancies. They were great and professional but I wouldn't want them their for all my labour. It isn't the same a medical procedure/intervention when needed is different that labour. Which is often hours where your personal comfort levels actually effect the result. Childbirth is as much about the mother coping/ managing labour as anything else.

@RoyalCorgi 🤮 sicko they lurk in every profession.

[quote Merryoldgoat]@tempchecked

Midwife means ‘with woman’ so a midwife is the correct term for any gender in that profession.[/quote]
Interesting, I interpret the woman in “with woman” as the woman who is the midwife rather than the mother. As in the midwife is the “with woman.”

Absolutely nothing wrong with asking for someone of the female sex (and ensure you state sex, as there's confusion with sex and gender terms these days).

And a female nursery worker had been abusing children but didn’t stop anyone from sending their children to nursery!

I felt similar but also found it awkward saying it. At the time, I lived in a very diverse area where a lot of women only wanted female staff for religious reasons. That helped as I felt my request didn't stand out too much.

I felt the same about male consultants/registrars too.

Each to their own but this has got me thinking when I encountered men during my first induction.

Consultant in the meeting- male- not good. But neither was his female midwife sidekick.

Didn't see a man again til the anaesthetist for my epidural. Fine. Then no more til I had two registrars trying to cannulate me- fine (wasn't for them 😂 they had a right old time!). Then the actual birth and aftermath was all female.
Male doctor did my newborn check and had male SHO out to me in the middle of the night when one of those cannulas went wrong.

It didn't bother me at any stage and I wonder if requesting female only might have meant things too longer to get sorted while waiting for a female but equally the men weren't involved in anything particularly intimate so I'd have struggled to find a reason to object anyway, it seems the vast majority of the staff were female.

This time I've seen a male sonographer a couple of times who is good but I find him a bit cold. And my consultant is male, I wouldn't have an issue if he was involved in the birth at all but I think that's as much because I've met him a few times now and I like the way he works.

I feel very sorry for the women who had this person attend them at their birth.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9989159/amp/Male-midwife-39-caught-stash-400-indecent-images-children.html

She can put it on there but it won't guarantee she gets a female midwife, will she also want a female obstetrician if she needs intervention? I agree it's bigoted and sexist.

I'd prefer a female midwife and was going to have it put into my notes but I was told there were no male midwives so it wasn't needed.

For those saying that would you except a male doctor, its not the same. I had a several male doctors that treated me for excessive bleeding during a miscarriage in between my 2 successful pre

The difference between a male midwife and a male consultant is that you are rarely alone with a consultant. You are with the midwife.

She is well within her rights to request to be cared for by female midwives. Its not sexist or bigoted to ask for this - I only ask for female GPS now as the male ones tend to not listen to me.

Whether thats what she receives because of staffing levels, is another matter.

I think its fine to ask, but to give you an idea.

I had mainly female midwives and a male consulatant. Male consultant was in my opinion shit and in the end was replaced with a female consultant. Female midwives couldn't get a needle in my arm, male midwife came along did it first go.

I personally don't think it matters (in my case) if they were male or female, maybe it had something to do with experience, maybe some had just worked a 12 hour shift and was functioning at 99% instead of 100%

But just because I wasn't fussed about it, doesn't meant the next woman shouldn't be able to say who she wants during a serious medical procedure.

When it comes to the point she might find that she doesn’t give a toss, as long as they’re kind and professional.

Might add that the only rough treatment I ever suffered during 2 pregnancies and labours, was from a female doctor. After difficult labours both my dds were delivered by male obstetricians, and I was just profoundly grateful to anyone with the expertise to make sure I ended up both alive, and with healthy babies to take home.

Hasn't a female teacher recently been charged with child rape?