Male midwives - aibu

I understand because certain things I would prefer a woman for. When I was being induced I was praying that out of a male doctor and female doctor I would get the female one for doing the physical bits, on the post natal ward I had a male midwife who took excellent care of me and the baby. I was happy for him to do all I happened to need at the time but for intimate examinations I would have preferred a female for sure. I think it’s perfectly acceptable!

It's her preference, the male midwives may still be involved in her care indirectly but it's completely reasonable.

I left a 't' out of 'obstetricians'.

Maybe don't judge.

That's just one out of how many male midwives though? I'm sure there are some female midwives who are sex offenders (female sex offenders are harder to identify as they are generally trusted more).

Hasn't a female teacher recently been charged with child rape?

99% of sex offenders are male, 90% of victims are female.

Rape requires a penis so are you sure the teacher was actualky female?

I think I’ve read in the past that there are fewer than 100 male midwives in the profession in this country, so the chances of being offered one are fairly slim.

And a woman always has a right to request a female HCP, when that’s a midwife or a doctor or a nurse.

I don't think it's entirely fair to compare midwives and doctors and say that any woman who is happy with male doctors but not male midwives must be sexist and hypocritical. They are completely different roles.

I absolutely agree with this and frankly I think it devalues a midwife’s role to keep saying ‘but would you be happy with a male….?’, as if midwifery is the same as any other healthcare job. A midwife’s role in birth is unique and extremely intimate, and the midwife is often alone with the woman for a very prolonged period of time.

I think it's fine though I've no doubt male midwives are good.

We have to remember in years gone by, most doctors, including obsetricians, were male and women just accepted it. It seems odd now when there is a plethora of women doctors.

It's nice to have women doing things with your 'bits' and I don't blame your niece - one bit.

I hope all goes well with her.

Yes she can request a female midwife, staffing overall is pretty dire but seen as those the vast vast majority are women, i can't see that being an issue to be honest. Tell her to do whatever she feels comfortable with, people will always say ah you won't even notice, oh I had a great one- that's great, but not helpful.

The difference is not the capabilities as you well know.

Men are also entitles to same sex care by the way so it works both ways.

A women in labour is vulnerable have being roughly examined by an unchaperoned man I'd prefer a female where possible too. Wonen aren't here to make Men feel better about themselves

Sorry, competent rather than professional, in the last paragraph.

NHS you are just grateful anyone has time to look at you.

I had a male midwife 25 years ago so it's nothing new. Didn't bother me at all to be fair. I suspect if you only want female doctors/nurses/midwives/consultants you would probably have to pay for the privilege. As a survivor of rape, I do understand why some women may have very strong feelings about it though. Just thinking that any man who wants to work in a maternity/gynae capacity is a pervert is twisted and outdated thinking.

It is 100 percent her choice whatever make her feel more comfortable at a stressful time. Me I couldn't give a flying s*#t if female male or alien as long as they are qualified and can keep me and baby alive and healthy

I'm sure they will be used to having women asking for female midwives (although the term already implies a woman), for all sorts of reasons.

As for your niece, she might not want a male midwife (midman?) but I bet she wouldn't notice it in the middle of birth pain.

My advice to her would be to try and visit the ward and see how she feels about the staff.

Personally, I'd rather have a professional male midwife in the room than a worse female midwife.
I really valued the midwives that attended the birdh of DS and made it (IMO) a better experience than it could have easily been.

Her choice entirely. My birth plan requested female midwives and no students.

I had to go into surgery to have the placenta taken out and didn't care about men as part of but the surgical team; it's less intimate and at that point I couldn't care less. But having female midwives was important.

I know male midwives who are better than some female midwives. I'll bet more than 50% of obstetricians are men, yet nobody seems to refuse them, however it's her decision.

Ah I love how in this day and age, women should be allowed to do any job a man can do, but not the other way around! 😣🤷‍♀️

A male midwife is just as qualified as a female midwife!

Didn't have a male midwife, but did have a male doctor who had to check my stitches after delivery, guess what... ITS NO DIFFERENT THAN A FEMALE DOCTOR!

@Twizbe that’s logical and what I’d expect of someone refusing male midwife.

I always swore id have a female midwife but with no5 baby this bloke walked in
I remember thinking 'fuck,it's a bloke
Followed by 'I don't care if he's a bloody alien,as long as he gets this baby out'
He was fabulous-kept me together while chatting football with my ex
Baby was delivered and all good
My advice to any woman is to keep an open mind-but if she wants a lady midwife then that's what she wants

She absolutely can put that and as most midwives are women its likely to not be an issue anyway. How does she feel about medical staff? Would she prefer a woman or just whoever is best placed at the time? She can request but I would suggest not as you wouldn't want to delay medical treatment if required to wait for a woman doctor.
FWIW I have the most wonderful friend who trained to be a midwive (or midhusband as he calls himself...) after seeing his two children born. He is the most empathetic, professional wonderful person and (if I didn't know him) would be an amazing midwife.

It's a personal preference. It's not a 'view'. She's not saying men should never become midwives. She's saying she doesn't want one.

She is fully entitled to her preference, should state it clearly on her birth plan and mention it to her ante-natal midwife. It might not be possible for her preference to be met but chances are it will be.

@Palavah yes, I feel uncomfortable about men wanting to work exclusively with females. I opted for a female consultant with all of my children.

You are allowed a preference, but do bear in mind that the situation on the day may mean that this isn’t possible. Do a bit of research on how well staffed your local dept is, just to prepare yourself in case.

Anything else is down to luck and chance

Female HCP for me. I would not feel safe with any male HCP. Male MW are unchaperoned and for this reason alone would be enough for me to refuse to be treated by them.