"Can I get"

We have always said "can I get". And we say please too

I still say "can I get..."

Nothing wrong with it- it's just very informal language.

Yes, this is American (probably via a N. European source), but sadly they also generally miss out 'please'.

Hope the UK retains 'please', even if you are the customer.

Oh and whether you're paying for the tea/coffee is completely irrelevant. Whether it's a host or a barista or your great auntie Edna, you're still politely asking for a hot drink.

None of those uses apply to ordering a coffee in a coffee shop. Number 9 shows someone being addressed by name, the implication being that the host is being asked for permission. This construction is not appropriate in a situation where a customer is ordering something they're paying for.

I don't see what being addressed by name has to do with anything. The title of section 9 is 'polite requests'. The speaker is very clearly politely requesting that Julia make/provide tea, because their guest has arrived. You surely can't think that 'May we have some tea?' in this context is a request for theoretical permission to have tea rather than a request for some actual tea?! I'm beginning to think you're pulling my leg...

The King don't like it....

Kingsley Amis actively instructed the use of 'I'll get a coffee' as clear, concise & grown up. He hated all the prissy and convoluted 'please may I have' creeping into the English language.

Read 'The King's English' for a guide to good writing (& language generally).

If it's good enough for Amis, I'm fine with it.

Not at all the same situation as being a paying customer in a coffee shop. Of course they have coffee. Of course it's reasonable to assume they will give you some. The use of 'may' in that context is therefore forced and pretentious.

@lazylinguist

AdobeWanKenobi. It's remarkable how selective people can be about which Americanisms are acceptable. It's usually the ones they use, rather than the ones other people use.

grinding gears

Contact with others to learn language was always a local thing which I assume is how we picked up so many regional dialects and variations. It's a shame that is dying out with each new generation but with a global society it is to be expected.

Grinding my gears seemed to really take off with it's use in Family Guy, I imagine that is what brought it into common use here.

“May I have” is becoming a more old-fashioned phrase.

That’s precisely how language evolves…

This comes up regularly. Can I get is standard usage in Scotland and no one bats an eyelash

May I is asking for permission for something..."May I have a cup of tea please? ". Can I is around your capacity to do something..."Can you play poker?"
Language is organic and develops with usage...so Can I Get is becoming more and more normal in day to day life.

AdobeWanKenobi. It's remarkable how selective people can be about which Americanisms are acceptable. It's usually the ones they use, rather than the ones other people use.

grinding gears

What I hated when I was in the US just before the pandemic hit was being asked "what can I get started for you? " I went to a clothes shop once and someone said they were going to get a changing room started for me. I didn't like it at all!

There are a lot of Britishisms that bother Americans too. That are grammatically incorrect. Like, "I was sat at the table ..." or " I seen him on the corner ..." No one in American would say those things.

What I meant was, grammatically speaking, 'may' is the wrong word to use when not asking permission. So yes, I think it counts as a grammar mistake, but I accept that my phrasing was not the best.

It isn’t a grammar mistake, or even a mistake at all. 'May I have' is a perfectly normal way of asking for something. What basis do you have for insisting that 'may' can only be used when asking for permission? And even if you define the 'may' in "May I have a coffee" as asking permission, what kind of chump would ever in a million years think that it meant "May I have theoretical permission to have a cup of coffee (but don't actually give me one)."? Perfectly normal, acceptable, standard, correct usage.

See meaning no.9 of about 15 here

It's so annoying and so American. Grinds my gears every time I hear it and DH and I eye roll each other

Just out of interest @WhatATimeToBeAlive where do you think the phrase “grinds my gears” came from?

"Can I get a coffee?"

"No you cannot. And if you jump over this counter and attempt to get one, I shall call the police."

Ah yes, at McDonalds: "Please may I have a Big Mac, sir." grin

Why not? Should we do away with saying please because McDonalds isn't fancy enough? Common courtesy should be the same wherever you are. What's wrong with being polite?

As someone who's worked in all tiers of customer service, from Mcdonalds to Harrods and Flannels, I'm happy with any kind of terminology for a request as long as it contains a please and followed by a thank you!

I'm fine with "can I get". It's grating but that's language evolution for you.

What I don't get is "may you ...". My boss will say "May you write to so-and-so?" Of course I may do it, no-one's stopping me. But I wish she would just say "Please write to ...".

Some of these melodramatic responses!!!

Ah yes, at McDonalds: "Please may I have a Big Mac, sir."