"Can I get" | Mumsnet

Farfalle88 · 10/01/2025 16:34

The worst thing is the overuse of the word 'grab.' The word grab has quite negative connotations because it implies rudeness and selfishness. Yet, how come it's dropped into every sentence these days? Can I grab your number? Can we grab coffee? Shall we grab lunch? No, I don't think so. You can ask for my number politely. If I go for a coffee, I will take my time and enjoy it. Same for lunch. Life is not a smash and grab raid, nor is it about 'getting'. How did this happen to the English language? Where have manners and consideration gone?

StrawberrySanta · 09/01/2025 18:41

I work in a shop , hear it all the time
Can I get a strawberry elf bar
Please can I get a bag?
Can I get 2 large costas, pump 6 and number 2 scratch card please?
Can I just get this please...... Oh and pump 5, 20 cigs, 4 lottos and a partridge in a pear tree

Rictasmorticia · 05/01/2025 16:08

This used to rile my English teacher, who countered with (in a loud voice )
ONLY YOU KNOW IF YOU CAN, ONLY I KNOW IF YOU MAY.

NotAnotherPylon · 05/01/2025 15:57

Breadcat24 · 05/01/2025 15:08

It grates on me but as long as people say please.
I am upset with how little people say please and thank you these days. I was in Boots at the till and the lady said I was the first person to say please and thank you to her all day. Costs nothing

I must admit I'm not overly concerned about please, because it can be inferred by a polite/pleasant tone or a smile, but I feel very strongly about thank you.

It's a shame that 'can I get' grates on you when it is perfectly acceptable in parts of the UK (Scotland and NI) and in Ireland. In fact if you used 'may I have' in NI you'd likely get a look suggesting 'oooh, la de da'😆 My MIL very annoyingly corrected both my children on this - telling them to say 'may I', yet she never ever uses the expression herself.

Breadcat24 · 05/01/2025 15:08

It grates on me but as long as people say please.
I am upset with how little people say please and thank you these days. I was in Boots at the till and the lady said I was the first person to say please and thank you to her all day. Costs nothing

FramboiseRoyale · 05/01/2025 14:53

Just to be helpful, I'll re-post my comment from 2021:

There is nothing wrong with "can I get" unless you want to quibble with the can/may distinction, which will probably be gone in a few years anyway. The dictionary definition of "get" is "come to have or hold (something); receive." It does not have some sort of built in reflexive. To ask someone "can I get" can mean "can I receive".

Evanna13 · 04/01/2025 20:16

Language evolves and either are fine to say and perfectly understandable.
To me " May I have" sounds a little like you are a child asking a parents permission for a treat. I probably would have said it in the past but would use "Can I get" nowadays.
For me the most important part of either sentence is the "Please".

MathsyUsernameGoesHere · 03/01/2025 23:20

MissTrip82 · 03/01/2025 23:19

Really?

If you hear someone say 'can I get a cappuccino please?' you think it's genuinely possible they intend to hop over the counter and start making it themselves? Really?

I find that extraordinary.

ETA I'm so glad someone resurrected this, what an eye-opener into the deliberately obtuse!

Edited

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Some people just aren't very good with language I guess. 🤔

JustMarriedBecca · 03/01/2025 23:20

Poochnewbie1 · 07/09/2021 21:15

I use it all the time. I usually use a polite tone and say please at the end so don’t really see how it’s rude..

“Could I get a glass of wine please?”
I realise that ‘May I have…’ sounds more polite but I feel like I’m trying to be posh.

Please may I have a ....

MissTrip82 · 03/01/2025 23:19

Facilitatingdarkness · 07/09/2021 21:21

I think "Can I get" sounds like the person ordering wants to get X themselves. Maybe it's just the way my mind works.

Really?

If you hear someone say 'can I get a cappuccino please?' you think it's genuinely possible they intend to hop over the counter and start making it themselves? Really?

I find that extraordinary.

ETA I'm so glad someone resurrected this, what an eye-opener into the deliberately obtuse!

beetr00 · 03/01/2025 23:10

Oops! @MathsyUsernameGoesHere already observed very many, many hours previously

@ThisLoudBlueZebra · Today 21:53

So many saddos, how could I possibly know this was a thread over 3 years ago? Get a life for god's sake.

Sure thing, aye we could LoudBlue 😘

beetr00 · 03/01/2025 23:00

ThisLoudBlueZebra · 03/01/2025 15:02

I f you feel you need to sound like a half-wit, by all means say 'can I get'. Generations of young people corrupted by that awful American show Friends

😆just the same as someone who resurrects a two year old post perchance?

NotAnotherPylon · 03/01/2025 22:56

ThisLoudBlueZebra · 03/01/2025 21:53

So many saddos, how could I possibly know this was a thread over 3 years ago? Get a life for god's sake

How did you end up on this thread, as a matter of interest? I understand people reawakening old threads when they're searching for information on how to bake a decent scone or what cures haemorrhoids or something. But this is a bit random. Did you do a search for 'can I get?'

I haven't read my old comment from three years ago, but was undoubtedly defending the use of 'can I get' as we say it all the time in NI, even though we are continually told how WRONG we are on here.

MathsyUsernameGoesHere · 03/01/2025 22:52

IridescentRainbow · 03/01/2025 22:50

I totally agree! I feel like saying “Don’t you know that this is a coffee shop and that he’s a barista? NO! He will get it for you “

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Did you get anything nice for Christmas?

IridescentRainbow · 03/01/2025 22:50

Facilitatingdarkness · 07/09/2021 21:02

What's wrong with "Can I have"?

It doesn't even make grammatical sense! I've noticed it more and more when people are ordering coffee, to the point that more people say it than not.

Makes me irrationally angry. Just me?

I totally agree! I feel like saying “Don’t you know that this is a coffee shop and that he’s a barista? NO! He will get it for you “

SirChenjins · 03/01/2025 22:30

ThisLoudBlueZebra · 03/01/2025 21:53

So many saddos, how could I possibly know this was a thread over 3 years ago? Get a life for god's sake

The date is on the OP (that’s the original post)

MathsyUsernameGoesHere · 03/01/2025 22:29

ThisLoudBlueZebra · 03/01/2025 21:53

So many saddos, how could I possibly know this was a thread over 3 years ago? Get a life for god's sake

The... Date?

SirChenjins · 03/01/2025 22:28

Reallyreallyborednow · 03/01/2025 15:29

So most Scottish are half wits?

”can I get” was common/normal in Scotland over 30 years ago when I lived there.

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It still is!

ThisLoudBlueZebra · 03/01/2025 21:53

So many saddos, how could I possibly know this was a thread over 3 years ago? Get a life for god's sake

MathsyUsernameGoesHere · 03/01/2025 15:34

ThisLoudBlueZebra · 03/01/2025 15:02

I f you feel you need to sound like a half-wit, by all means say 'can I get'. Generations of young people corrupted by that awful American show Friends

Imagine resurrecting a three and a half year old thread just to make yourself look like a complete idiot.

Reallyreallyborednow · 03/01/2025 15:29

ThisLoudBlueZebra · 03/01/2025 15:02

I f you feel you need to sound like a half-wit, by all means say 'can I get'. Generations of young people corrupted by that awful American show Friends

So most Scottish are half wits?

”can I get” was common/normal in Scotland over 30 years ago when I lived there.

ThisLoudBlueZebra · 03/01/2025 15:02

I f you feel you need to sound like a half-wit, by all means say 'can I get'. Generations of young people corrupted by that awful American show Friends

Sparklingbrook · 30/07/2022 20:21

JaneJeffer · 30/07/2022 19:20

I'm sure there was a new thread about the same thing last night as well

And the night before and the night before that probably. Can i get a break from the 'can I get threads'?

DramaticSunflower · 30/07/2022 19:32

How much time do you spend listening to people order coffee?

JaneJeffer · 30/07/2022 19:20

I'm sure there was a new thread about the same thing last night as well