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AIBU?

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Original poster

to feel bad for my kids that we have no family

57 replies

BeachDrifting · 06/09/2021 00:07

We have no close extended family. No family get together. Weddings. Family at my kids birthdays. It’s just the 4 of us all the time. On our own. I see other people’s social media and their celebrations every weekend. My best mate has 20 family members over to her house every weekend. Where did I go wrong? We don’t even have anything close to that and no possibility of it. I feel like I’m living life wrong. How do I get what they’ve got? How do I get that big extended family thing for my kids? It makes me feel incredibly depressed. Every weekend I feel lonely. Can I ask how others with no extended family cope. What do you do to fill the gap?

OP posts:
Original poster
BeachDrifting · 06/09/2021 00:22

I have tried really hard with friendships but I find everyone we know has their own big extended family network. They’re always booked up with family events most weekends. Maybe we aren’t living in the right area. I feel I need to live somewhere people move to rather than grew up in if that makes sense

OP posts:
Original poster
BeachDrifting · 06/09/2021 00:19

It is really hard. My kids have never had a family birthday celebration where cousins visit and family hang around for the day. I feel ashamed. Like I’ve massively let them down. It’s utterly shit.

OP posts:
CandyFIosss · 06/09/2021 00:18

Well I don’t think there is anything you can do then, I only have my mum and dad as I don’t speak to my siblings, my ex is absent and a family aren’t involved. Isn’t there a saying about friends being the family you choose? Maybe concentrate on friendships

Stroller15 · 06/09/2021 00:18

We're the same OP. Our families lives in a different country, and we've got both DS's birthdays coming up. They're getting to the age where they really start to ask questions about why they don't get loads of cards or presents. It's so tough, I'd like nothing more than having that input in their lives.

Original poster
BeachDrifting · 06/09/2021 00:13

Our family members are hours away in different directions. Mine are toxic, racist and homophobic. DH has a broken family background and there is no cohesive unit just separate individuals who don’t like each other.

OP posts:
SolitaryTree · 06/09/2021 00:13

We only have one relative. My sister.
It’s just my children and me otherwise.
My sister lives miles away and we don’t see her often and we really are alone other than her.
I’ve just learned to accept it.
It’s made me very sad for my children in the past but it’s something that is completely out of my control.
I don’t know if I’d call it filling the hole as it’s just how it’s always been but we are really close and do allot together.
I make sure they never go without love and time, practical needs and trips, holidays and treats etc.
I hope they go on to meet people to build their own little families with.

CandyFIosss · 06/09/2021 00:11

Only you can answer that, where is your family and your partners? Neither of you have any family at all?

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