Waiting to die

Op are you in an abusive or controlled relationship?
Or have you health issues? Or loneliness?

Covid has had a dreadful impact on most .
At the moment I feel like the cleaner and one who fails miserably. It takes me so long to do anything then I have to rest and it's like a crazy circle. But I have a small dog and walk her a couple of short walks daily . She also likes time spent with her and cuddles ,she has really been a life saver.
. Hoping you feel better.

There are some really patronising responses on this thread. I'm sure posters mean well but it's a good example of how many people really do not understand how chronic illness and pain affects lives.

I feel similar OP my family keep me going whilst my health deteriorates. I can't just "go for a walk" well I can but it results in a big increase in pain and fatigue for the rest of the day, or several walks. When your life is so physically limited and painful it's hard to take joy in the simple things.

Anti depressants don't help as they do not change circumstances. We just keep going and hide the pain.

Please try to take the following steps:

1. Speak to a friend or family member about how you feel
2. Make an appointment with your GP
3. Try to go outside for a walk
4. Do something nice for yourself, like cook a recipe you fancy
5. Set yourself a goal to achieve each day. It could be to read a book, to walk 10000 steps, just to get outside for 10 minutes, to phone someone, to smile or engage with a neighbour, to write a gratitude journal, write down your thoughts, research a new job, anything. One small challenge each day.

This thread has made me realise I feel like this. 😬

I've felt like this 3 times - every time, I was in a longterm relationship where we were living together or married.

It also gives me anxiety.

Bugger. How can I fix this? I don't really want to leave DH but this is horrible.

@Bagelsandbrie
Has summed up how I feel. Every day is full of agonising pain made far worse by the Covid vaccine. I am disabled and debilitated. I cannot live a normal life and only live because I have a Dd. My aim is to get her to adulthood. I had major surgery (the first in a series) a few years ago and made a will, secretly hoping I would die on the table as I was so ill.

You need help, @NCNC101, because the way you are feeling is definitely not normal. Start by reading some books about positive thinking and the like, ask your GP for a low dose antidepressant, maybe try CBT, focus on things that give you joy, start a new hobby like painting, listen to music that speaks to you......... and so on. Just don't wallow in these horrible feelings.

Go for walks. And exercise! Try some YouTube workouts - Lucy Wyndham Read, Rebecca Louise, Sydney Cummings, Pamela Reif... there's lots of them out there. Exercising is one of the best ways of banishing those dark thoughts

I feel like this. I'm not depressed, I'm just fed up and can't be arsed working out what to do to change things. As such I keep on living the same dreary existence. I need to never see or hear about covid again!

I do.
I'm not going to do anything, but I'll be glad when it's over iyswim

Hi OP,

Sorry you are feeling that way. That is how I felt when I was depressed. I think you would benefit from seeing your GP who could advise you and things that could help.

it does sound like depression;

hopeless feeling
no enjoyment in anything

see your GP/call someone for some help op

How old are you?

[quote Travielkapelka]@Bagelsandbrie you are not getting older, you’re in your 40’s!!!!! You’re possibly not even half way through your life[/quote]
Not true in my case, as my health conditions are life shortening and debilitating. I’m not saying that to be depressive. It’s just the truth. I’m likely to live till about 60 if I’m lucky.

@Bagelsandbrie you are not getting older, you’re in your 40’s!!!!! You’re possibly not even half way through your life

I agree DDIJ
If someone is
stopping you from living your life you need some support.

I feel the complete opposite. At 50 in very aware that I'm over half way through. I've been enjoying myself and time has flown! There is so much I still want to do and see and experience! I really want to stay healthy to ensure this can happen.
Please check in with a GP. Life is a gift.

Also agree with others about DDIJ, why can’t you go for a walk?! And who says you are only meant to do housework? This sounds suspicious of an overly controlling partner/domestic abuse, just so you know.

I’ve been feeling like this but I do struggle with chronic depression on and off and this is usually a sign for me that my depression is creeping back in. I’m don’t think it’s “normal” but I do see it as “normal when I’m getting depressed” if you see what I mean. I’d seek help if I were you.

I do think repeated lockdowns and the stress of the pandemic haven’t helped with this feeling!

I have felt like this when I've been going through a major depressive episode, listless existence. Please speak to a GP and do whatever you can to get out of the rut you are in if you can (I know that is incredibly hard to do when you are in a "whats the point anymore" mindframe, but please do it). Life is not meant to feel like this. There is no shame in taking medication either, medication has helped my shift that mental boulder more than once. Xxx

@DDIJ this is a blunt question - why can’t you do those things??

You sound very depressed. Please consult your GP. Meanwhile, could you try to find joy in simple things, like sunlight, walking, enjoying a nice coffee and good food? Do you have people in your life that you enjoy seeing?

I think you should consider that you might be depressed.

I don't think this is a normal way to feel at all, and for all those who do I hope you are able to access some help and feel better soon

That doesn't sound normal to me, I'd definitely call the GP.