Men in lingerie shops

That's my lived experience and I really don't care whether randoms like you believe me or not.

Maybe I’m just weird but when I shop for underwear, I like to do it without having to dodge around men. I find it weird.

Even when you're just looking at the rails, grabbing something on a hanger and taking it straight to the till? It's very common for women to go in to the men's undies sections and have a look through - presumably buying for husbands/boyfriends/sons, but then you see threads on here where women buy clothes for themselves from the men's sections for whatever reason, as they have every right to do so.

I agree in the actual fitting room area - and any good store should have a private area where women/girls can speak to a fitter/sales assistant out of the earshot of anybody else; but if we go down the line of insisting that 'only women are allowed to buy women's clothes' and 'only men are allowed to buy men's clothes', I think it's a slippery slope.

Some couples do like (or need) to buy clothes for each other - whether they end up choosing wisely or not. Some people will be buying for their children, elderly and/or vulnerable relatives.

Yes, it makes most sense for girls needing bra fittings to go with a female relative/friend if one is available, but if we're just talking about a single/SAH dad picking up a new pack of pants for his daughter? Do we assume him to be a pervert and thus, by extension, sexualise a perfectly normal everyday garment worn by girls?

Also, by reinforcing the 'male clothes' and 'female clothes' angle, we're also buying into the very flawed modern message that a man cannot be a 'feminine' man, nor a woman a 'masculine/butch' woman. We're back to supporting the "Well, John, if you sometimes like dressing in 'women's' clothes, that must mean that you ARE actually a woman" stereotype - and we all know where that can lead.

I 100% agree that women should have protected, safe sex-defined spaces (and the same for men), but I don't see how you can say that an open shop floor containing loads of hanging fabric qualifies as that in anyway.

I think this thoughtless planning. I definitely would not like to announce my bra size to the shop. All very well saying its nothing yo be embarrassed about- get real women have body confidence issues. YANBU

Then he' arranged to meet her in half an hour and he didn't spend that half hour rummaging around the women's underwear, staring at female shoppers, either.

No, funnily enough, neither did my father.

Don't be so silly and defensive.

Absolutely zero defensiveness here.

When my daughter's dad had to take her to buy underwear he went straight to a department store and to the nearest female shop assistant in that department to ask her to kit her out. That assistant would be far more use to a young girl than her dad would be. Then he' arranged to meet her in half an hour and he didn't spend that half hour rummaging around the women's underwear, staring at female shoppers, either.

I can't imagine living like that, either. Sounds restricting and exhausting.

It is for the shops to change this because women's space is for women - and no woman should feel encroached on, in their space, by a man just because his partner has no regard for other women.

I don't want a "woman space" , I want a PRIVATE space.
People outside the changing room don't bother me.

I refuse communal changing room, and don't appreciate a woman looking at me anymore than a man if you go that way.

Cubicles and men standing outside the changing area are fine by me.

What sort of lingerie shops do you go to?

Do many couples head for M&S lingerie department with the aim of 'spicing up their sex lives'?

Personally I head there to buy bras. Admittedly, I do like pretty bras, but I doubt they'd spice up anyone's sex life.

I've been to Bravissimo (the lingerie shop) with one of my DDs because she's the sort of shape that they cater for.

As far as I could see the market they're aiming at is women with large breast who want pretty bras rather than having to encase their breasts in something their granny might wear. And it is exactly the sort of shop that caters to teens with large breasts.

Can't imagine why any couple wanting 'racy' underwear would head to Bravissimo; they're far more likely to find what they're looking for down the road at Anne Summers.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

Or, will you just blame the woman that your partner is checking out?
talk about yourself, but if MY partner was checking women out, he could find much better places than the sofa of a lingerie store.

I've lost count of the number of times when I did used to use changing rooms in shops, to open the door/curtain and find a man there, looking me up and down, sizing me up and just generally appraising me.
😂 yes dear.

cogee, why can't you leave the changing room to show your husband whatever it is you've tried on?

I mean, it's only x, y, z clothing and, opinions are vital and anybody who disagrees is overreacting, so...it's just geography then?

It is for the shops to change this because women's space is for women - and no woman should feel encroached on, in their space, by a man just because his partner has no regard for other women.

Can't even imagine living the way to not be able to ask man or anyone for that matter to move so I can pick what I came for to the shop...
It's a basic adult function

They're just sitting.

If anything it's Bravissimo you should take issue with for having the sofas there at all.

Then again they'd likely say, the sofas are there for people to sit on, which they are.

I quite like Dh around so he can run and grab me a different size, instead of having to redress, take all my stuff and queue again.

It very rarely happens, but it's easier to shop with someone.

I might tell him that half of MN is judging him as a dirty perv because he's collecting a few bras for his wife

Tell me again why men need to be there? Outside the women's changing room?

Because they are parenting their daughters.

Tombstone? I meant “to be”.

Tell me again why men need to be there? Outside the women's changing room?

OK, I’ll tell you again. I want my husband tombstone outside the changing room because I value his opinion.

As an equal, of course.

I’m a bit astounded that some people are too scared to say “excuse me” to a man standing in front of a rack of clothes that they want to look at, for fear of aggression. Really, how often would you expect aggression in return? It’s far more likely they’d just move.

Agree. Seems an extreme expectation to hold.

Massive overreaction, sorry.
It's just a bra 🤷‍♀️

I understand that some people might have reasons for feeling anxious but if it gets to the point that they can’t ask someone politely to move, that’s really something that needs to be addressed as it’s debilitating.

My dad also bought me tampons too, as the only parent in my life. Should he have also been banned from doing this, lest he make someone feel uncomfortable? 🙄