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Original poster

Asd and school refusal

33 replies

Thisisworsethananticpated · 04/07/2021 09:13

I hope you don’t mind me asking here , given the traffic I might get some useful answers

Son has been school refusing since really year 8
At it escalated and so did his unhappiness I sought medical advice and ended up with a psychiatrist
Her assessment , both after the first session and after assessments was asd
That said , I’ve been worried about him for years especially since year 5 (I’ve been keeping diaries)

I’m struggling to get my head around it
I’m also feeling guilty , like an enabler , and struggling with the impact on other sibling
I’m also a LP which makes it a bit more exhausting

I’m curious if others have experienced a ‘surprise’ asd assessment
And If this has also driven fairly severe school
Refusal

Thanks

OP posts:
CrazyCatsAndKittens · 04/07/2021 10:35

I'm in the same situation. My son has ASD and refuses to go to school. He refuses to leave the house most days. It's tough and you do feel guilt as a parent. I don't know what to advise but just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone.

Original poster
Thisisworsethananticpated · 04/07/2021 10:34

Thanks everyone
It’s been a week , so nothing in place yet
I had to go private as GP and Cahms useless

I feel guilty because
School are ignoring me which make me think they hate me
People are saying I’m making it too comfortable at home
His sibling is guilting me
His dad overseas is in denial
I’m getting a load of poor opinions which I need to filter out

I’m also questioning why , he went to school when his dad was here so is this me being a weak enabling mum ?
That said I think he masked a lot - and primary was more Convivial

But I feel like shouldn’t I have
Spotted this ?

So I’m literally in my own here !

Thanks again

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 04/07/2021 10:27

My granddaughter aged six is starting to school refuse, but she loves the social side. There's a question mark over ASD/ADHD. I part home schooled my eldest who has ADHD. Mainstream school isn't the best environment for every child.
You have nothing to feel guilty about.

AsTrueAsADogsLove · 04/07/2021 10:13

My DD with ASD (diagnosed aged 8, no surprise) refused school for 18 months, but luckily we got a good psychiatrist and, with better medication, she's now back. It's been tough.

Are you getting help from school, your GP, CAMHS? Please ask for it if not.

You're not an enabler, and have nothing to feel guilty for; none of this is your fault. Your child has a disability.

I hope you get the help you need.

Hankunamatata · 04/07/2021 10:10

OP I have two kids who love school and both have sen. One is regular school refusal. It seems to isn't school but the transition from leaving the house to going into the school - it seems to melt his head. Weirdly we started scooting to school instead of the car and I'm getting much less refusal.

10brokengreenbottles · 04/07/2021 10:07

Does DS have an EHCP? And is he receiving medical needs EOTAS tuition?

kkneat · 04/07/2021 09:57

My DD dropped out of school in year 8 just couldn’t manage. She received ASD diagnosis one year later. She is 19 and has not managed any educational provision since although mentally is doing better. I found this organisation useful
notfineinschool.co.uk/

NelleBee · 04/07/2021 09:49

I’m not really sure what you are asking. What are you struggling to get your head around? The ASD diagnosis? Why do you feel guilty or like an enabler?

My DS has ASD and has been school refusing since Reception. He attends a specialist school now which he happily attends everyday. I think it’s quite common for children with ASD to refuse school as it’s difficult for them. Schools, especially secondary schools are not an easy environment for a child with ASD to be in.