MIL and Father’s Day

If DH wasn’t an only child I’d think we had the same MIL! We found out she’d been sending gifts from us to his cousins and aunts and uncles and they were silver photo frames with out photos in 😱 they kept thanking us for the photos and I thought they meant some photos I’d sent by WhatsApp and I thought they were being a bit weird all thanking me in person for some really quite boring WhatsApp photos!

She also handed me a card on our wedding day and it was a “to my darling wife” card from her son that she’d written a message in and he didn’t know anything about! She’s bonkers but at least she’s the caring sort of bonkers not the horrible sort 😂

I think you're weird to be annoyed. He's a dad now so gets presents for Father's Day. Find a different battle.

I sent my DS(who is a father) a Father's Day card from myself - was that a mistake??

I think I would have been bothered for DHs first father's Day as I would sort of want to 'mark' the day.
However now that DS is 4, I quite like that MIL does this, she does it for valentine's Day, mother's Day, Easter, Halloween etc.
It's just something that our family 'does' now.

Irritating and overstepping.
I organise something little for my husband every year for his birthday, just a tea party or something and his mum always brings a cake even though she knows we usually buy each other a cake on our birthdays. One year she brought a half eaten one!
Drives me mad lol

My MIL is a crafter so she probably would do something like this as she would get so excited making a card and present and get carried away.

I don’t think she would have meant to overstep, she just would have been excited

This is just the sort of territorial shit my FIL would do. He asks me constantly whether I’ve remembered to change the baby, if he needs feeding, whether I’ve underdressed him etc. It’s not done out of concern, it hard to describe, it just radiates that he thinks I’m not good enough and I’m slapdash. He doesn’t think my decisions can be trusted, hence yanking a swaddle out from round my peaceful sleeping newborn once…

Sorry, I made that about me. But I’m with you OP, it would piss me right off, especially as it’s one of those deeply irritating things inlaws do that are hard to publicly slam because they seem so fucking nice.

If you want to give your kid a present then do it. But don't pretend it's from someone it's not, don't pretend it's a father's day present and don't give it on father's day.

I'd argue that no-one other than parents with a small child have a right to give a gift on behalf of someone else. How would MIL feel if you gave a gift to her sister on her behalf? What if she hated her sister, or loved her and the present was 15" dildo?

I think it's bang out of order.

It probably came from a good place, but I have to say it would irritate me to. My MIL dominated all of the ‘firsts’ after DD was born and I feel a bit resentful about it, although would never want to say anything and upset her.

I’d be annoyed, it’s a clear overstep.

You could tell him it's saved you from having to bother getting a gift from your dd, but to be sure he gets a Mother's Day gift for you next year as your mother would never overstep like that.

I couldn’t get worked up over this earthier. She purchased a gift on behalf of her grandchild for her son. It’s a lovely thing to do. He is still her child and will always be.

Get a grip, you'll have far more hassles than this in your life.

She is his mum and it is a nice gesture. She isn't in competition with you, she's his mum! My mum got me a lovely necklace with my dd's initial on it for my first mother's day from dd. It didn't overshadow dh's gift, he made the day special by making me a yummy breakfast and other things. Unless you have a massive dripped coming I think you are overreacting!

Father's day is meant to be about the father, not you OP. She wants to buy a gift for her son, who is a father. I honestly couldn't get worked up about this.

I don't think I'd be arsed. It's his day, not mine.

I think it's a lovely tradition she's started and you should encourage it. So from now on mil will be buying all gifts from dd for both parents on all occasions and you get to save money while receiving gifts.

If it was a small token gift, I don't think I'd care, but that's assuming I didn't already dislike her for other reasons.

A large, expensive gift, I'd raise my eyebrows. That would be odd, imo, even if she signed the card from herself and left your child out of it entirely.

Really weird. I could understand her sending something from herself.

My mum always gets me mother's Day stuff. I think it's so sweet and DH gets me a card from toddler DS too. It's a lovely thought. My mum also gets DH a fathers Day card from DS (as do I) mind you, DH's mum died when he was a boy so my mum is very close to him as a mother figure.

Op, I hope your MIL gets you another's day gift next year. Otherwise, to me, it's weird.

I think it’s a bit strange she sent it from your DD! If it was from her then i’d have no problem with it!

Sorry Op, no advice and not sure how you can make it stop, but I would say to let it go if you can as otherwise it'll ruin things for you and you alone, so don't let her spoil it for you!

Truthfully? It wouldn’t bother me. One less job for me to do! But I don’t care about “occasions”. And my in laws are not “boundary over steppers” so it isn’t a sore point.

But I am me and you are you and we all have our things that matter to us.