MIL and Father’s Day

I think you are massively overreacting.
She was just doing a kind thing and really all this preciousness of adults buying presents pretending to be from the kids is a bit ridiculous and meaningless. No matter who bought the gift it certainly didn’t come from your child.
It is more meaningful when they get older and start making stuff.

Hmmmm, slightly different dynamic but my mum told me today she'd got a little pressie and card for DH's 1st Father's Day from my DD. I thought it was sweet!

Whether I'd feel the same if MIL did this not so sure, I'd probably think nothing of it aslong as she did the same for me on Mother's Day

Out of context.

And unironically...

You spectacularly missed the point. And no I won't fuck you as I prefer intelligent bed partners.

I'd be furious. Only two people can legitimately act on the baby's behalf, and neither person is your MIL.

I'd find it annoying and wierd but I'd keep it to myself. I think it's just overstepping and not letting go of being in control of things like that anymore.

I’d be pissed too! This is a stunt I’m expecting mine to pull on Sunday.

And as mentioned in my OP, a gift from MIL wouldn’t bother me. What I don’t like is that her gift is “from” DD - that should be for me to organise, not her. But your partner will know neither present is from the baby as she's a baby.

Unless there's a huge backstory of his mum having no boundaries I'd just see it as something nice for my partner from his mum as that's all it is!

This really isn’t something I would get bothered about, she is trying to do a nice thing, if you are trying to see it as something more sinister, that is your problem

The widowed, lonelyass MIL is trying to steal that
What a spiteful thing to say.

Fuck me. This place sometimes.

I think each of our responses are tempered by our relationship with our own MiLs.
Personally, I'd think it was a bit odd, but just put it down to being her being over excited. Couldn't raise the energy to get upset about it. But then, I'm not suspicious of or mistrustful of my MiL. We're not great mates but we get on okay.

I would hate this and it is the kind of thing my MIL would do.

Your MIL had her turn at buying gifts from her own kids, she can still buy for him from herself, but it’s your turn to do Fathers Day from your DS to DH.

I really don’t understand why grandparents do this sort out stuff. MN is full of these stunts. They have had their go and need to stop bloody interfering.

I would be annoyed and wouldn’t say anything, however I would buy a nice present and card myself and know that your present is the one that matters.

MIL is a CF.

She’s lost her husband and is clearly excited that her son has become a father and that she’s a new granny. Why shouldn’t she be excited?

she should. and she should buy a fathers day card and write in it how proud she is and how proud his dad would have been of him. and how she is excited to see their family grow and see him excel in his new role of a father. LOVE MUM.

she shouldnt send a card addressed from a child that isnt hers and potentially step on the toes of their mother. Because shes also a mother and deserves respect and to thank her co parent for the support he shows her and their children.

Bizarre

Father’s Day really isn’t about you OP!
Can you try to imagine being widowed and alone with an adult son who has left home? The fact is that your DH will always be her son.
I think you’ll look back in 20+ years time when your child/children are older and you’ll realise that you love them as adults just as much as you loved them as babies and then maybe you’ll feel embarrassed when you remember treating your MIL with such disdain.

She’s lost her husband and is clearly excited that her son has become a father and that she’s a new granny. Why shouldn’t she be excited?

As a MIL who’s step son has recently become a father, I am excited to think of him enjoying his new special day. I won’t be sending him a card from his new baby son, but if I was bereaved and living alone, I’m sure I’d want to contact him to wish him well, at the very least.

@PurpleyBlue haha! She has to have gluten free which is fair enough, we always buy her a couple of things to eat or she will bring a few bits for herself. She's tiny so doesn't eat much either.
Then she will bring a whole gluten free cake knowing I have also bought a cake and leave it here, so we end up with 2 cakes between the 2 of us and our 2 small children, one of which doesnt usually like the cake she brings. It's usually dry as well lol.
I made my husband tell her to take most of it back home with her on her last birthday
It sounds petty but it's the fact that she does it knowing I already have one!

So we just don't do it any more.

Fortunately (or unfortunately) all of the dad's have sort of fallen from grace and removed themselves from the situation so father's Day is usually a cheap, standard affair.

I'd be annoyed too but as he has it already your gift from baby dd can be the focus of the day on Sunday.

My MIL used to send my kids Valentine's Day cards .

Giving gifts for most people is about the kudos, smugness and gratuitous praise.

The widowed, lonelyass MIL is trying to steal that.

I'd think it was a bit odd but it wouldn't upset me.

In general I dislike the possessiveness/jealousy around children that Mumsnet encourages in mums.