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AIBU?

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Literally no sense of direction... at all

189 replies

Pippa12 · 04/05/2021 15:15

I’ve just had a complete melt down as my sat nav had technical difficulties and I couldn’t get it to work. I’ve done this 40 minute journey every week for 5 weeks now, but I cannot for the life of me get there and back without GPS.
I rung my husband in blind panic (again!) and although he’s calm and kind, he’s completely perplexed at my lack of directional skills and feels there is more to it.

I struggle with directions and remembering how to get to places everyday. I rely heavily on my Sat Nav for the shortest of journeys. If we are in a hotel for instance, it will take a good few days before I can confidently get to reception/pool or navigate round the resort. I am otherwise fairly clever and together person with a technical job in a managerial position with lots to organise and execute, but why oh why can’t I get from A to B without assistance.

Anybody else have similar experiences and any ideas how to improve this after 37 years of bloody embarrassment and torment!

OP posts:
randomsabreuse · 05/05/2021 11:41

I've lost my car few times. Most notably at a horse trials as they added more rows of cars after I parked, throwing my visual memory out. I have a "tile" on my keys so I can find them...

I'm horrible at the backhand in all racquet sports but ok on forehand, often attacked by doors, door handles and radiators... but was top 10 in UK in fencing in my 20s.

Avoid group aerobics like the plague as can't do L/R under pressure!

poppycat10 · 05/05/2021 09:42

Not quite the same, but I have lost my car. Once on a work call, I parked my car in the office's multi-storey and couldn't find it after the meeting. Walked around for ages before realising I was on the wrong floor.

Now if in a multi-storey I always make a mental note of what floor (and sometimes it tells you what zone too). And if outside, I'll remember I was 3rd row across or opposite a tree or whatever. I think some of the time it's about being mindful and thinking about things - we do everything in a hurry and then we forget eg coming out of a shopping centre and forgetting which direction you need to go in - before you go into the shopping centre remember that you eg passed the post office so you know which direction to go back in.

Latecomer131 · 05/05/2021 09:41

*lose (before my co-occuring dyslexia gets jumped on by the grammar and spelling police).

Latecomer131 · 05/05/2021 09:37

OP, I am like this with directions, and was diagnosed as dyspraxic in my 30s. I was a harder case to spot, as it only affects gross motor coordination for me (directions, knowing where my body is) but my fine motor coordination; holding a pen etc. is not an issue.

Things to consider: Do you regularly accidentally bump your head or knock into things? Are you atrocious at sports that involve a ball? Do you frequently loose important possessions (keys, phone, purse)?

poppycat10 · 05/05/2021 09:37

@SoupForLunch

I have a family member who has lived in the same small city for about 30 years, in about four different properties. There are quite a few places she goes to regularly where, in order to get there, she has to first drive to the first property she lived in. The journey only makes sense to her from that spot. It's batshit to me. Sometimes she'll be driving five miles out of her way in the wrong direction. Repeatedly. Odd.
Not quite the same, but my aunt used to navigate people around Liverpool via the bus routes because she didn't drive. I guess it makes sense, it's the most obvious reference point.
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/05/2021 09:27

I’m a bit like you!

I’ve known a few people with a really strong, true sense of direction and it’s quite awe inspiring.

They are my brother, my son (even as a toddler!) and an au pair we used to have. They just know!

poppycat10 · 05/05/2021 09:26

I used to print out internet directions and memorise the important town names on route

Yes similarly I work out the route, know which towns we need to go through and which roads, and as long as the reality is the same as the map, don't get lost. Sadly, sometimes (especially with roundabouts) it's a bit different to the map.

poppycat10 · 05/05/2021 09:24

I have a good sense of direction and don't use satnav except on very rare occasions for the last bit of a journey but I love maps and spend hours looking at them.

The thing that does confuse me is the opposite for a lot of people - upside down maps! I know a lot of people turn them round, I get completely discombobulate by that - a lot of the maps on the bike hire things in London are the wrong way up and I have to find one that is the right way up :)

I find Google maps quite unhelpful as it doesn't tell you what direction you are going in (ie you have to walk or drive a little bit to work out which way you are pointing), but the OS map app is really good (£25 a year, a bargain) as it tells you that are eg facing east at the bottom.

I am better at in-car navigation - DH is very good at knowing where he is going in a new town we've not been in before, whereas I don't pay attention. I think the landmarks thing works really well.

I've got lost running on heathland where every path looked the same. Fortunately the sun was out that evening, and knowing it sets in the west, helped me and my friend find our way back to civilisation (ran 9 miles instead of the planned 5 though!) (stupidly, neither of us had mobile phones with us).

randomsabreuse · 05/05/2021 08:23

Pre satnav I used to print out internet directions and memorise the important town names on route. Many a stuff up with that, especially the time the directions sent me down a farm track instead of the motorway - I didn't even get them wrong.

Before that I'd use a road atlas, plan a route and write it out and stick it to my dashboard.

Satnav is a total lifesaver!

Snog · 05/05/2021 08:16

I have no natural sense of direction and also use landmarks as much as I can to help myself

StringyPotatoes · 05/05/2021 07:54

@whyhell0there

I'm not like this but I feel like my sense of direction would be diminished by using sat nav. I like to be able to discern the route for myself.

I find that using a paper map then having a look at Google street view at key points (when you need to change roads, for example) for landmarks is really helpful. Not sure I'd be able to cope with driving to any unfamiliar place without this! Walking places is a different story though - it's so much easier to stop and get your bearings/examine the map.

It's unhelpful to say "I'm not like this but all you have to do is XYZ".

I AM like this and was before I could drive and I can only drive anywhere outside of my town because I have a sat nav. It's not learned dependence - it was always necessary. The idea of having to rely on maps/signage causes anxiety.

I can read a map and I can use a map to find a walking route somewhere but only because I can check the map whilst walking and rotate it as necessary so all the landmarks are in the right orientation.

I couldn't do this while driving. I can't hold a picture of the map in my head at all (I have poor visual imagination), can't remember each individual instruction for long enough, and landmarks wouldn't help because I wouldn't be able to work out the route from one to another.

Not to mention the fact that I don't have a wall to put a large map on anyway.

noblegreenk · 05/05/2021 00:23

@DragonWillow

I have a pretty good sense of direction but DH has none what so ever - he can honestly get lost in his own garden
This is my DH too! It's frightening how little sense of direction he has.
Sinthie · 05/05/2021 00:02

Same. I can’t function without sat Nav and have exactly the same problem finding my way round on holiday. I also forget which direction I was going when I come out of a shop in a shopping centre.

JudgeJ · 04/05/2021 22:48

@isthismylifenow

Oh you are not alone OP. I'm glad there are so many of us tbh as I thought it was just me.

I lose my car in car parks all the time. I always take a photo of the parking spot number and level I am on. If I have a photo I seem to be OK, if I didn't take a photo, we'll then I'm stuffed.

I also hate going to the loo in a shopping centre as I never know which way to walk out if there is more than one entrance.

Just this morning I took the wrong road in the school run.

And let's not talk about trying to do a zumba class at gym, or a dance with particular moves, like Jeruselma etc. I'm always going the wrong way and just cannot for the life of me remember the steps.

I use waze on my phone wherever I travel if it's slightly out of my comfort zone. Ie more than 3 or 4kms from my house.

We once parked on the top deck of the Venetian hotel in Las Vegas, returning to the car later we were horrified that it wasn't there, looked all over the place, no luck. Mentally reporting the loss to the rental company and the problems it would cause we went back down to try and speak to someone in the hotel, no-one really concerned so we went back up to the top floor and as we exited the lift, there the car was, exactly where we'd left it! Later we learned that not all lifts go to the top deck, we'd simply looked at the last button rather than the number.
bumblingbovine49 · 04/05/2021 22:21

I have been like to his all my life and I am 56. I had to rely on maps for driving in my youth and sat navs have been a life saver as I regularly used to have to stop to check the map and even used to try and look at them while driving Blush. I can drive a route 50 times and still not remember or be able to describe the route .

I remember relying on the far superior directional skills of my 8 year old nephew once in a large park when I couldn't find the car park after a long walk.Blush Blush

JudgeJ · 04/05/2021 22:07

My late OH once took someone to Picadilly station in Manchester from Bolton, he returned via Manchester AIrport as he couldn't work out how to get back any other way.

the80sweregreat · 04/05/2021 21:56

Only place I've been 'lost' on an escalator was in Harrods where they are there to confuse. ( only been in that shop once, enough for me!)
Mind you , it is a big old ' shop'!

FlyNow · 04/05/2021 21:52

Yes I do all these things, even down to getting turned around coming out of shops and looking at my wedding ring to check left vs right.

As for how did I get around without sat nav, I didn't really. There was so much stress and tears. Luckily I was about 20 years old when car sat navs were becoming popular and affordable.

Did anyone see that The Good Place episode where one character gets lost on an escalator and is diagnosed with "directional insanity". The perfect name for it!

the80sweregreat · 04/05/2021 21:38

Only way I can tell left from right is that my wedding ring is on my left hand!
If I wasn't married ...
still , at least I can drive. I know many that can't , so that keeps me going ( even if I don't drive that far unless I really have to)
(I just wish I was better at directions and not getting lost all the time! )

Curlygirl06 · 04/05/2021 21:37

All of the above! My daughter can go somewhere once and she's fine, can go back any time. She has only got seriously lost once and was in a state of panic as it had never happened before. It was then she realized what it is like in my world and she is a bit more sympathetic now.
My absolute best (?) example of getting lost involved using a sat nav. I'd dropped dh at hospital and had to drive home. I'd spent the whole journey looking at landmarks, noting where things were etc and thought I'd be ok. Dh set the sat nav up for me and off I went. First roundabout, take the 5th exit. Ok, off to next roundabout, take the 2nd exit. Next roundabout, take 5th exit, next roundabout 2nd exit. Next roundabout, take 5th exit again, by now I was thinking it was strange to have 3 roundabouts in a row where I had to take the 5th exit each time. Next roundabout take the 2nd exit. It was only when I went back down the road FOR THE FOURTH TIME and again was told to take the 5th exit I realized something was not right. If it hadn't been for the fact of the unusual 5th exit issue, I'd have been up and down that bloody road a few times more before I realized that the sat nav had frozen.
I had to drive to a side road and re set the sat nav but I was in such a state. I misread the screen thing at a later date, ended up in some bloody village with single track roads and no bugger to ask (bit Children of the Corn area!)
I ended up by a toll bridge over a river, was so stressed by then I have them a pound, told them to keep the change as long as they could tell me how the hell I could get back on the road home.
I got someone else to collect dh from the hospital, couldn't do that again.

BrumBoo · 04/05/2021 21:25

I'm exactly the same. I have a few routes memorised to perfection but all within a 2 mile radius. Everything else goes to shit without a satnav or someone giving directions. I thank whatever god is out there that my driving test had a sat nav aspect rather than 'follow road directions for the next 20 minutes'.

I also have difficulty with left and right, have no physical recognition (places or faces), and have issues with spacial awareness. Terrible at maths as well if it's in any way related! One of my siblings has dyspraxia, very possible I have the same.

ShakeaHettyFeather · 04/05/2021 21:18

It can't be that linked to prosopagnosia - I have a brilliant sense of direction and will be happily directing people within 24 hours of landing in a new city, but I really can't do faces beyond the obvious details. So I will go off to the loos in a hotel and find my way back to the dining room and my table just fine, but will have no clue whether the people at my conference table are the same ones who were there ten minutes earlier - I've had many a conversation where I just assumed the person on the left of my chair was the same as before...

It's something about recognising 2D pictures, for me - I can be asleep in the car and then DH wakes me up and wails "where are we?" and if it's anywhere I've been in the last 30 years in England I'll tell him. I'm often bending down in places and confirming yes, I was there as a child.

I have a couple friends who can't follow the two-road 5-min walk from the station to my house, however many directions I give. One can usually be talked in but the other... it's just quicker to go get her. Intelligent woman in most other ways, but I keep wanting to say "you see, but you do not observe"!

the80sweregreat · 04/05/2021 21:18

I'm sure I have dyspraxia and had to learn coping mechanisms over the years to overcome so much but I still have the fear of things going wrong and hate driving out of my 'comfort zones' too. It does hold you back in life I think.
Plus other people can make you feel inadequate if you admit to any of these failings. I also hate the fact I'm so useless with numbers and maths. I'm sure I'm ' wired differently' to other people !

randomsabreuse · 04/05/2021 21:17

The thing that really improved my ability to create a "network" of linked routes in my area was starting running with my local running club. Going slower than driving plus regular repetition really helped my visual memory of routes (but yep totally get that landmarks only work from the "right" direction).

I've since moved and can mostly go in the right general direction on foot on a clear day because in 1 direction you can see a long line of hills which is North. In the other direction you have Glasgow tower blocks which is South. So I'm pretty well covered, except minor details like canals and rivers requiring bridges to cross them...

LotLessBovver · 04/05/2021 21:17

I have absolutely no sense of direction.

To add to the 'fun' I also seem to be something of a magnet for people who want to ask for directions. On holidays my DC have started timing how long it takes for someone to come over and ask me how to get somewhere. My current record is just under 2.5 minutes. DH remembers everywhere he's ever been but rarely gets stopped by anyone in need of help.

I am also terrible at recognising and remembering faces. I try to remember people by their hair or any particularly distinguishing features. The rest is just a blur.