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Literally no sense of direction... at all

189 replies

Pippa12 · 04/05/2021 15:15

I’ve just had a complete melt down as my sat nav had technical difficulties and I couldn’t get it to work. I’ve done this 40 minute journey every week for 5 weeks now, but I cannot for the life of me get there and back without GPS.
I rung my husband in blind panic (again!) and although he’s calm and kind, he’s completely perplexed at my lack of directional skills and feels there is more to it.

I struggle with directions and remembering how to get to places everyday. I rely heavily on my Sat Nav for the shortest of journeys. If we are in a hotel for instance, it will take a good few days before I can confidently get to reception/pool or navigate round the resort. I am otherwise fairly clever and together person with a technical job in a managerial position with lots to organise and execute, but why oh why can’t I get from A to B without assistance.

Anybody else have similar experiences and any ideas how to improve this after 37 years of bloody embarrassment and torment!

OP posts:
HopingForOurRainbowBaby · 10/05/2021 00:37

I can somehow get from A-B but get me to reverse that journey when it involves Turing left or right and I just can't do it. Well I can but I'd end up somewhere totally different to where I started. Came back from Newcastle once (with the help of a satnav) stopped at Whitby for tea before heading home to Bridlington. Turned the satnav off no way can you get lost you stay on the same road all the way back to scarborough and then again all the way into Brid. Well most people wouldn't get lost. I did as soon as I pulled out of the car park I got totally muddled and went back the way I came. Took me ages to work out why there was suddenly a new roundabout on the road back home that wasn't there the previous week. As another poster mentioned I too if I don't scope out where I'm sitting in a restaurant can get lost coming back from the toilet and have often embarrassingly found myself wondering around like a lemon. Same thing happened on a cruise years ago. We all went and found a table big enough for us all and left our stuff there. All went up to the buffet but could I hell as like find my way back. After ages of walking round and around I ended up just sitting at some random empty table to eat my dinner whilst the rest of family came to find me. I'm also horrendous at facial recognition too. if I'm in a crowded place and get separated from someone and they're calling my name. I couldn't place them even if they were stood directly in front of me. First holiday abroad on my own with a Friend and we met a couple of people. Split up in the night and said we'd meet back in our room in the morning. Got back to find out door locked so I stood knocking on it but no answer. By now I'm starting to panic when I hear a it's ok I'm here. Turned round and just started shouting to this person have you seen my friend I can't find her I think something's happened to her. She was like it's ok I'm here and I was like no you don't understand I can't find my friend. It wasn't until she put the card in the door I realised who it was. I felt like a tit and she took the piss for ages. At the time she was was someone I saw regularly for 9 years. I have a brain injury so I do sometimes wonder if that partly contributes to it.

thelegohooverer · 09/05/2021 16:24

@NeverDropYourMoonCup I remember seeing a programme where they tracked birds (pigeons I think) and discovered that they too, use landmarks to navigate to a certain extent. Instead of taking the most direct “as the crow flies” path, they followed the route of rivers and motorways at times.

Annetisa17 · 09/05/2021 10:16

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TooStressyTooMessy · 09/05/2021 10:05

That is helpful, thanks NeverDropYourMoonCup

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 09/05/2021 09:41

Would it help for somebody who is good at this sort of thing to chip in with how it works in my head? (Well, sort of, it is hard to put into words because it's all images in my head).

I pay attention to what is around me - I notice where the sun is, trees, distinctive features in houses/gardens, where the exits are, if there's a particular plant or something in a building by a pillar, so I know where I am at that moment and what appears to be nearby. When I move away from that position, I note further things in relation to where I had been, as though I've got a map overlay in my head.

When I am going to a place from one direction, I have a memory of all the other familiar places in that overlay and then, I join the pieces up when coming from a different direction, like filling in the blanks and it all gradually expands until I know either everything or the important places and a few 'checks' on the way.

I wouldn't use a Big Sainsbury's as a marker by itself, as there are an awful lot of the things around and they all look very similar - but a big Sainsbury's with a bus stop by the entrance with a Boots opposite and a zebra crossing slightly further on by a big, green building would be a marker point.

To add to that, I've also got an overlay in my head of bus routes and stops/train and tube maps/etc. So I might not know immediately where X coffee shop is, but I know it's in x location, which is on the 123 bus route where it turns right to go past Sainsbury's and there is a blue doctor's surgery coming up to the junction, the 321 bus turns left past the two chemists where the majority of the shops are and there's a good chance it's on the little stretch that's set back from there. Using the mental overlays, I can therefore get to where the coffee shop is likely to be from all 4 directions by bus or by car.

Google Streetview helps - even if the place wasn't actually there at the time of the photos - because it gives a general shape to the road and buildings.

I can also do this long distance, by public transport and in the countryside - finding useful points, being able to visualise them and then place myself in the map overlay.

When I need to explain or learn a route, I use body movements, so if I were to be describing how to get from my house to the bus stop, I'd be using my hands to indicate forward x distance, left, left, across the road, left (two big Magnolia trees and the wall round the corner painted brown), straight(ish), left, cross, straight on, guitar shop opposite, Greek shop opposite, hairdresser on left, Block of flats at junction as you look straight ahead and blue pub to the right of that, bus stop.

DP takes the piss out of me - because homing pigeons and other migratory birds have large quantities of magnetite (a mineral) in their beak area which is believed to be sensitive to the Earth's magnetic field and because humans have lesser amounts of it in their bodies, he says 'Come on, Miss Magnetite, get us home'. He could get lost in the kitchen with a dedicated tour guide at times, so he finds this amusing and very useful - particularly when he called once at 5am Sunday morning to say his lift had broken down and somebody else had dropped him in x place 10 miles away, where did he go from there - I logged into the transport planner, used a combination of that, Google streetview and memory and told him 'Are you somewhere safe? Stay there, I'm working on it' and directed him to the nearest bus stop, which bus to catch, how long it would be, things he would see on the route and where it would drop him off near us.

Sorry for the warble. Tl;dr It's a combination of visual and physical memory and then names of streets/locations are tagged on top.

Everything is interrelated and new places are added on like extra sheets as if I were standing on a map.

dgirluk · 09/05/2021 09:20

OMG I thought I was the only one ! The relief of knowing I'm not alone!

On work trips, colleagues know they have to pick me up from my room or I won't find breakfast. If I go to the toilet in restaurants I panic because I can't find my way back to the table.

I also regularly lose keys / phone etc., bump into things, and am awful with anything like tennis or catch. Numbers don't make a lot of sense and I can do a basic sum, get it horrendously wrong, but not twig at all. I've also lost my car in a town, phoned my OH to explain I'd lost it, and he talked me though the journey to get from where I was standing to where it was parked (based on my description of where I'd left it).

I get from A>B but it's like a new journey every time. B>A is a completely different road in my mind. And to go from B>C would involve probably going back to to A and starting from there (if A/B/C were in a triangle) - no sense of how they link together.

I used to race on circuits and it took FOREVER to learn even a short circuit.

Yet I can read a map fine and navigate using it, and got my pilots license which requires navigation, and have a technical job, and play piano to a decent standard. It makes no sense to me but I'd love to fix it.

The landmarks thing makes a bit of sense, as well as whoever said, turn around and look back so you know what it will look like when you return.

But any tips at all would be appreciated! I've suspected dyspraxia for a while but the symptoms didn't seem to tie in - but based on a pp, perhaps it is at some level?

TooStressyTooMessy · 09/05/2021 08:53

So pleased I found this thread! I can relate to so much of this. I am terrible at directions and it is a standing joke how bad I am with them. My DD1 is pretty good (takes after her Dad) and has been genuinely helpful with directions for me since she was about 7 Blush. I don’t have face blindness although wouldn’t say I am great with them. What I do have is a great ability to make a mess and to lose things. I have often thought it must all be connected. I am definitely not very observant which doesn’t help. Thank goodness for satnav.

I am another one who can learn (eventually, over a very long time) a route but can’t understand how that relates to any other routes - that takes me years and often I never manage it.

When I was younger and starting to go places on my own I used to have to wait until I was with a friend or wait for my younger brother to learn the route and come with me or I couldn’t manage it at all BlushConfused. No satnav or mobiles in those days.

SallyCinnabon · 06/05/2021 23:30

OP, people stop me for directions in my home town and I tell them I’m not from round here because I know I’ll send them the wrong way!

SquigglePigs · 06/05/2021 21:31

DH is exactly the same. If he drives somewhere and I've been giving him directions or he's following a sat nav there is zero chance of him being able to find it again. He does get there eventually with places he goes regularly but we've lived in our area for 15 years he still surprises me with what he can't navigate to.

We've realised it's partly because of the way he visualises things - in a very simplistic way. So if there are two way to go and they both involve 2 turns he would assume they're about the same distance/time even if one was easily twice the length. He can never do short cuts!

It's taken me a long time to get used to because I'm the exact opposite and can get back to more or less anywhere I've been once and I pretty much have a map in my head - he calls me his human sat nav. At least we balance each other out I guess Grin.

Oddly though I'm much less good at navigating on foot - totally different thing!

Don't worry OP, you're not alone.

User6587324 · 06/05/2021 21:01

Strangely I find MK not so bad as it is very orderly and I don't panic as much, I find the road names like V8, H6, etc easier as I at least I can count the roundabouts and have a slight knowledge of knowing where I am. MK was always my shops of choice because I could actually find the centre, we now have our own shops at Rushden Lakes but I have trouble negotiating the roundabout into there and once missed the exit to get home Blush

RosJ · 06/05/2021 20:55

Me too... I have no sense of direction, I have real trouble with faces (embarrassing as a teacher), and I spectacularly failed to learn touch typing, despite once doing a one month typing intensive course. I have often wondered if all these are connected. I'm also a daydreamer, but not nearly as bad as I used to be, as my job demands actually being present in the room.

wizzywig · 06/05/2021 20:37

Stay away from Milton Keynes. I'm constantly getting lost there

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 06/05/2021 20:34

I have zero sense of direction, but grew up long before satnavs and so had to learn to read maps and work out my route in advance if I wanted to drive myself anywhere.

I can go umpteen times somewhere with dh driving, but will never remember the way until I’ve had to drive it myself.

Might add that dh’s sense of direction used to be incredible. He could visit a city for just a few hours, go back 10 years later and find his way.
Since relying so heavily on satnavs, though, his ability has deteriorated. Use it or lose it....

I once read that the reason men often have a better sense of direction-than women, is because they have higher levels of iron in their blood, we all apparently have iron deposits in our noses, and given that the earth is a magnet....
Don’t know how true that is, but it sounds plausible.

Lucylivesinamushroomhouse · 06/05/2021 20:09

This thread is so encouraging, to know I’m not alone! Interestingly like many here I also struggle with face recognition. I can only very vaguely visualise things. I technically can drive but I avoid it as much as possible. Terrible special awareness. It has definitely affected my whole life and my family mock me (very genteelly) all the time. Now I’m wondering if it could be some kind of dyspraxia....

SomePig · 06/05/2021 14:54

Another prosopagnosic/terrible sense of direction here. Nothing wrong with my mind, I’ve got a bunch of degrees and a lot of random useless stuff like many dozens of pieces of classical music and poems memorised. But it takes me an entire year of living in a new place before I feel confident enough to turn off Google maps for short journeys to places I regularly go.

My lowest point was driving to a multi-storey carpark on my own one day, parking, going into the attached mall for something, coming back out and being completely unable to find the car. I had to call DH, who has a magnificent sense of direction, who came (fortunately from quite close by) and went into the carpark and very quickly found the car. When he hadn’t even been the one who drove it into the carpark in the first place.

Now I text myself dropped pins when I’ve parked the car, and also landmark like a lunatic. Very few landmarks inside underground carparks, though.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 06/05/2021 10:03

I've noticed a few people say about exercise classes. I've just realised, I used to be terrible direction wise but now I'm not. It must be a repetition thing, I know I often count the steps in my head.

Wonder if I can somehow apply that to knowing which way to go!

thelegohooverer · 06/05/2021 09:31

Fascinating that for so many of us face blindness is part of the problem.

I struggle to visualise things in my mind. And I think of streets in straight line grids so when they curve in real life, it completely throws off my awareness of where areas are in relation to each other.

Sat navs are a great crutch but they’ve made me worse. In the days of paper maps I used to work hard at navigating. My dad drilled into me how to read maps, to write out step by step directions, to pay attention to landmarks and how to work out direction by the position of the sun.

I genuinely thought he had a magical compass in his head, but I think he’s just not as lazy and day-dreamy as I am, and applies himself to paying attention to his surroundings.

We had an oil cloth map of the world on our kitchen table for a few years and it provoked all sorts of discussions. I’m tempted to get a fabric print of a map of our city to muse over at mealtimes and see if I improve any.

sashh · 06/05/2021 09:07

I struggle with telling the time, I had a digital watch as soon as they came out. I have a watch with hands but I mix up the shape, for me the shape of 9.00 and 3.00 are the same, but I normally know if it is the middle of the night it is 3.00.

The faces thing, yep no good with that, I met my brother in a pub a while ago, someone opened the pub door for me, I said thank you, walked past and it was only when he spoke I recognised him. MY BROTHER!

the80sweregreat · 05/05/2021 19:08

My friends son has a PhD and can't tell the time very well. I was amazed as he is so bright.
I'm thick as mince but I mastered the time quite early on. (Mostly so I could gaze at the school clock in order to get out of there! )
Just a shame I'm so rubbish at everything else though especially numbers.

PerspicaciousGreen · 05/05/2021 17:59

FWIW, I have no problems with sports, reading, numbers or clocks. I have a good visual imagination and good spatial awareness when it comes to handicrafts.

Just terrible with faces and directions! And, interestingly, the three years I spent as a child trying to learn a musical instrument were really spectacularly unproductive. Struggled with every stage of the process from reading music to fingering.

dancealittleclosertome · 05/05/2021 17:29

I am the same. I was astonished when I first realised my then 5 or 6 year old daughter had a better sense of direction than me.

I also have a bit of a problem with left and right. Driving abroad was a nightmare because the Sat Nav would tell me to turn right, or left, but because I'd somehow got used to the way the roads are in the UK and managed a weak link between the words 'right' and the actual action of turning right in the UK, it totally confused me. In the end I had to stick a sticker in the corners of the windscreen with 'L' and 'R' on them.

My mother has the same problem. I have read somewhere that it is a recognised thing.

FrankensteinIsTheMonster · 05/05/2021 17:20

Out of interest, does anyone else have difficulty reading clocks? It took me years to learn to do confidently.

Yep — baffled my teachers and parents as I was a hyperlexic kid reading fluently by age 3 but just couldn't get telling the time through my head at all. My mum is pretty cool, though, and told the school they'd be disregarding their rule against digital watches in my case Grin

Iheartmysmart · 05/05/2021 17:00

I have no sense of direction either. Left and right confuse me, numbers are a mystery, no spatial awareness so am always covered in bruises, lose my car on such a regular basis I now park in the same spot whenever I go shopping. Can’t throw or catch and often look for my glasses when they are perched on top of my head!
Before Sat Nav I used to write my route out on post it notes and stick them to my steering wheel.

MissConductUS · 05/05/2021 15:49

I've lost my car few times. Most notably at a horse trials as they added more rows of cars after I parked, throwing my visual memory out.

Me too. There's a smartphone app called Find My Car that I use. You have to start the app and mark your location when you park and it can then guide you back to it later using GPS. It's quite handy.

Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 05/05/2021 15:27

It's actually made my day to read this thread.
I didn't realise there were so many of us.
If I don't catch the bus I get lost walking to work.
I have learnt over the years to landmark and I have a list of verbal instructions I tell myself as I'm walking anywhere, but I do wish I could have a mental map as then maybe I could drive a car and be more confident.
I have degrees and am at the top of my game career wise so I'm not a fool but I can't actually visualise things like routes. I sometimes get up and down mixed up!

Out of interest, does anyone else have difficulty reading clocks? It took me years to learn to do confidently.